Sex and Yom Kippur

(29) And this shall be to you a law for all time: In the seventh month, on the tenth day of the month, you shall practice self-denial; and you shall do no manner of work, neither the citizen nor the alien who resides among you.

(30) For on this day atonement shall be made for you to cleanse you of all your sins; you shall be clean before the LORD.

(31) It shall be a sabbath of complete rest for you, and you shall practice self-denial; it is a law for all time.

(1) On Yom Kippur, it is forbidden to eat, to drink, to wash, to anoint, and to wear leather shoes and to have sexual relations. The King and the bride may wash their faces, and the newly delivered mother may wear leather shoes: the words of Rabbi Eliezer; and the Sages prohibit this.

for Rabbah and R. Joseph taught in the other books of the School of Rab: Whence do we know that it is forbidden on the Day of Atonement to anoint oneself, to wash, to put on shoes, and to have marital intercourse? Therefore the text reads: [It] is a Sabbath of solemn rest [unto you].

(8) R. Simeon ben Gamaliel said, "Never were more joyous festivals in Israel than the fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur, for on them the maidens of Jerusalem used to go out dressed in white garments—borrowed ones, in order not to cause shame to those who had them not of their own;—these clothes were also to be previously immersed, and thus they went out and danced in the vineyards, saying, Young men, look and observe well whom you are about to choose [as a spouse]; regard not beauty [alone], but rather look to a virtuous family, for 'Gracefulness is deceitful, and beauty is a vain thing, but the woman that feareth the Lord, she is worthy of praise' (Prov. 31:3); and it is also said (Prov. 31:31), 'Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.' And thus is it said [in allusion to this custom], 'Go out, maidens of Jerusalem, and look on King Solomon, and on the crown wherewith his mother has encircled [his head] on the day of his espousals, and on the day of the gladness of his heart' (Song of Songs 3:11); 'the day of his espousals,' alludes to the day of the gift of the law, and 'the day of the gladness of his heart,' was that when the building of the Temple was completed." May it soon be rebuilt in our days. Amen!

§ The mishna taught: As on them the daughters of Jerusalem would go out in white clothes, and on the fifteenth of Av they would go out to the vineyards and dance. The Sages taught this tradition in greater detail: The daughter of the king borrows white garments from the daughter of the High Priest; the daughter of the High Priest borrows from the daughter of the deputy High Priest; the daughter of the deputy High Priest borrows from the daughter of the priest anointed for war, i.e., the priest who would read verses of Torah and address the army as they prepared for battle; the daughter of the priest anointed for war borrows from the daughter of a common priest; and all the Jewish people borrow from each other. Why would they all borrow garments? They did this so as not to embarrass one who did not have her own white garments.

The mishna also stated that the daughters of the Jewish people would go out and dance in the vineyards. A tanna taught: One who did not have a wife would turn to there to find one.

This is as it is related about Rav Reḥumi, who would commonly study before Rava in Meḥoza: He was accustomed to come back to his home every year on the eve of Yom Kippur. One day he was particularly engrossed in the halakha. His wife was expecting him and said to herself: Now he is coming, now he is coming. But in the end, he did not come. She was distressed by this and a tear fell from her eye. At that exact moment, Rav Reḥumi was sitting on the roof. The roof collapsed under him and he died.