The Hungry Dogs of Jerusalem
A Talmudic Play
Adapted from Talmud Shabbat 30a
DAVID
(Enters the chamber, looks around wearily, and collapses into the bed)
Another day gone, another battle won. My kingdom is strong and my dynasty stands firm.
(Exhales loudly, turns to call offstage)
Guards! Guards! Summon the Queen! Summon Bathsheba my love!
(Face brightens, sits up in the bed)
Ah, Bathsheba. My one true love. The one who nearly got away and stole my heart. My life would be over without that woman.
(Pauses. Starts to fidget)
What is taking them so long.
(Calls offstage again)
Guards! Guards! Where is Bathshe-
BATHSHEBA
(Swiftly enters the chambers)
Yes, my lord.
DAVID
(Motions for Bathsheba to come closer)
My love. I have just come back from battle.
BATHSHEBA
(Blank face, stands very still)
Yes, my lord.
DAVID
(Motions again to no avail)
The battle was a ferocious one.
BATHSHEBA
Yes, my lord.
DAVID
(Frowns)
I and my men successfully routed the Edomite army.
BATHSHEBA
Indeed, my lord.
DAVID
(Frowns)
The barbarous Edomites were numbered two thousand men, all armed to the teeth.
BATHSHEBA
Indeed. My lord has been victorious in battle.
DAVID
(Visably annoyed, motions to her once more)
My love..., we need to talk.
BATHSHEBA
(Remains still)
Let my lord speak his mind.
DAVID
(Face softens)
My love, I did not see you this evening at the post-battle celebration.
BATHSHEBA
I was feeling ill, my lord.
DAVID
(Frowns again)
Ill you say. Well, I... I recall hearing that excuse before.... And now that I think about it, this seems to occur just about every post-battle celebration. Ill. Always ill.
BATHSHEBA
(Pauses, takes a deep breath)
My lord, the terrible sounds of battle make me feel quite ill.
DAVID
(Surprised)
Oh! Well, I..., I wonder. Why is that so?
BATHSHEBA
(Glares at him)
My lord..., surely you must recall why.
DAVID
What must I recall? What are you babbling about?
BATHSHEBA
(Glares at him, says nothing)
DAVID
My love-
BATHSHEBA
Oh stop it!
DAVID
(Surprised)
What did I do now!
BATHSHEBA
(Glares at him)
Have you seriously forgotten?
DAVID
(Pauses, looks down)
Ah, yes. You feel this way because of that... battle.
BATHSHEBA
(Continues to glare)
Yes. THAT battle.
DAVID
(Looks down, says nothing)
BATHSHEBA
(Begins to pace the room)
Yes. It was the eve of your third battle against the Edomites. I remember every detail of that battle. I cannot forget any of it.
DAVID
(Looks up, says nothing)
BATHSHEBA
(Pauses, continues to pace)
It was a Friday. I know because I was preparing the Sabbath feast. And you arrived in the city shortly after the sun had risen. You rode in through the city gates on your black stallion, blowing the war horn, calling your men to arms. Yes, it was a Friday morning I will never forget.
DAVID
(Surprised)
My lov-
BATHSHEBA
(Stops pacing, turns to face David)
Don't you start. That was the last time I saw my dear late husband Uriah.
DAVID
(Rolls his eyes)
Here we go with the Uri-
BATHSHEBA
Oh! Cut that out.
DAVID
What- why should I?
BATHSHEBA
Because you took everything from me. You took my Uriah. You took my old life from me.
DAVID
But that was so long ago.
BATHSHEBA
It still feels like yesterday.
DAVID
But I made you a queen.
BATHSHEBA
I never ASKED to be queen!
DAVID
Here we go aga-
BATHSHEBA
(Stomps her foot, points at David)
YOU took my husband from me,
(Stomps again)
YOU sent him off to the front,
(Stomps and turns away)
You sent him to DIE all alone on that battlefield.
DAVID
I was acquitted of all charges.
BATHSHEBA
Hah! You were acquitted!
DAVID
I... I WAS acquitted. The elders declared I was not the cause of his death.
BATHSHEBA
(Turns to face David)
You were acquitted all right, but you sure were guilty. You were guilty then and you are guilty still. And I cannot join you in your post-battle feasts celebrating some dead Edomites while it was you who caused my poor Uriah to die in your pointless wars.
DAVID
ENOUGH!
BATHSHEBA
(Startled, continues to pace)
Yes it is true, you were acquitted for Uriah's death on all counts. After all, it was the Edomites that killed Uriah, not you.
DAVID
A lot of good men died that day. The Edomites are fierce warriors.
BATHSHEBA
And yet you keep antagonizing them.
DAVID
The people need a strong leader. I must make Judea great again.
BATHSHEBA
(Stops, turns to face David)
I told you we could arrange a meeting with Prince Hadad and end this thirty-year war.
DAVID
But the people-
BATHSHEBA
Don't blame the people.
(Points at David)
You are the cause of all this bloodshed.
DAVID
I think I am going to feel sick.
BATHSHEBA
(Resumes pacing the room)
I could have arranged peace talks with Prince Hadad. His mother was the sister of Uriah's father, you know. I could arrange a meeting. A peace summit.
DAVID
I think I must lie down.
BATHSHEBA
Hadad was very fond of his uncle. He looked up to him like a father. Uriah was like a brother to him. I know he will listen to me. We can end all this fighting.
DAVID
What is this weary feeling.
BATHSHEBA
Hadad now controls each one of the Edomite legions. He would be willing to set aside the hostilities. The generals will obey him.
DAVID
Oh, this feeling is worse than anything I have ever felt.
BATHSHEBA
Of course Hadad will want assurances. Access to the western trade routes. He will want to resume trade with the port cities.
DAVID
This ill feeling is not leaving me.
BATHSHEBA
Of course, your general Joab would never agree to peace talks with Prince Hadad. He has been waging war much too long. I swear his sole purpose in life is to smell the scent of death on the battlefield.
DAVID
(Inspects his hands)
My skin has become pale.
BATHSHEBA
That hotheaded Joab would surely sabotage any peace talks. He wants the war to never end. He would resist any negotiation that might lead to Edomite access to the trade routes or the port cities.
DAVID
(Hands begin to shake)
My stength seems to be leaving me.
BATHSHEBA
I hear that in recent years his family has acquired much wealth by supplying the Judean army. Peace would be bad for HIS business.
DAVID
(Whole body begins to shake)
Call the doctors! Call the doctors!
BATHSHEBA
It's the military-industrial complex. That's what it must be.
DAVID
(Falls on the bed)
Oh! Death is near! Death is near!
***
Lights go out. Bathsheba quickly exits the stage. The Angel takes her place.
***
ANGEL
Oh, David ben Yishai, King of Judea. Why have you summoned me?
DAVID
(Sits up suddenly)
Oh it is you! My guardian angel. Keeper of my secrets.
ANGEL
For what purpose have you summoned me?
DAVID
Oh, heavenly angel. Oh, my guardian on the battlefield.
ANGEL
What knowledge do you desire, my king?
DAVID
(Pauses)
Today I am feeling so ill... like no other day before. I truly feel at death's door. So, I must know... how much time do I have left? When will I die? Tell me, please.
ANGEL
David ben Yishai, you must remove this matter from your mind. The days of one's life is a mystery no mortal may understand.
DAVID
But I cannot help but wonder. After all, I must make arrangements.
ANGEL
David ben Yishai, this matter cannot be told to you.
DAVID
There are so many arrangements. And the succession plan.
ANGEL
I cannot share this knowledge with you.
DAVID
Herein lies the problem. If I make the arrangements to soon, I will be perceived as weak, and I will no doubt be attacked.
ANGEL
No mortal can understand this secret.
DAVID
If I make arrangements too late it will be chaos. Perhaps even a civil war.
ANGEL
One made of flesh and blood cannot comprehend the matter.
DAVID
A civil war would be disastrous. My legacy will be in shambles.
ANGEL
It is not possible to share this knowledge.
DAVID
And I swore I would make Judea great again.
ANGEL
The measure of one's days will never be shared on earth.
DAVID
Well... at the very least, I must know on what month I will die.
ANGEL
I cannot tell you.
DAVID
What about the season? Will I have a nice summer funeral?
ANGEL
This is not something I can share.
DAVID
Well then, what can you share?
ANGEL
The Sabbath.
DAVID
The Sabbath?
ANGEL
Yes, the Sabbath... Shabbat... Saturday-
DAVID
What about the Sabbath?
ANGEL
The only thing I can tell you is you will die on the Sabbath.
DAVID
But which Sabbath?
ANGEL
This I cannot tell you.
DAVID
Are we talking about next week? Next month? Next year?
ANGEL
No human mind may know more than this.
DAVID
But what good is this information? There are so many Sabbaths.
ANGEL
I have risked too much to share even this. It is time for me to go.
DAVID
Wait! I do not wish to die on the Sabbath.
ANGEL
Very well, I will stay a moment longer. But I cannot help you about your day of death.
DAVID
I do not wish to spoil the sanctity of the Sabbath with my death.
ANGEL
As I said, I cannot help you with this matter.
DAVID
I've got it. Perhaps you can plead my case.
ANGEL
And what do you wish me to plead?
DAVID
Perhaps you can plead for me to die on Sunday.
ANGEL
They will never allow it.
DAVID
Well, why not?
ANGEL
Know this, David ben Yishai. Following your death, your son Solomon will reign the kingdom and his reign must begin on the Sunday following your death. If you were to die on Sunday, you would be robbing your son a day of his rule.
DAVID
But all I am asking-
ANGEL
Enough! It cannot be done. The reign of two kings must not overlap with one another or subtract from their allotted time even a single minute.
DAVID
Fine! But at least it is possible to die a day early, on the Friday.
ANGEL
They will not allow it.
DAVID
But I won't be taking any days from my son's reign.
ANGEL
It does not matter.
DAVID
Well, why not?
ANGEL
Because you have something to offer that your son does not have.
DAVID
What do I have that Solomon does not? More experience of the battlefield. My collection of scars. My escapades with women.
ANGEL
He will certainly surpass you in the last category, but you have not mentioned the true point of difference.
DAVID
Well, what is it?
ANGEL
Your son Solomon plans on building a temple in this city. He will make it a place of pilgrimage and worship.
DAVID
What's wrong with that?
ANGEL
A day in your royal court is better than a thousand days in his temple.
DAVID
Oh, I'm so flattered!
ANGEL
It is not so much a compliment for you, but the heavenly distate for temple sacrifices.
DAVID
But... But... But isn't the temple the ultimate desire of our people?
ANGEL
What is a temple but a building made of stone. A human edifice that will be raised one day and destroyed the next.
DAVID
Never! The temple in Jerusalem will stand forver!
(The room goes dark, and a loud crashing sound occurs)
What was that? Was that you? Has the Temple been destroyed? Has the world ended?
(Pauses)
Answer me Angel!
(Lights go back on)
The Temple in Jerusalem must stand forver!
ANGEL
No, no, no. Nothing may stand forever. Even the sun, the moon, and all of the stars will die one day.
DAVID
I pray I won't see that day!
ANGEL
No, you will not see that day, but it will happen.
DAVID
Will I die soon?
ANGEL
Oh, David! Do you not understand?
DAVID
What don't I understand?
ANGEL
David! Today is the Sabbath. Today you have died.
DAVID
What?! This cannot be!
ANGEL
Fear not my king. Your son Solomon will reign with a mighty hand.
DAVID
But the boy is so young.
ANGEL
His mother will guide him.
DAVID
But what will become of me.
ANGEL
That is not up to me. That is up to Bathsheba.
***
Lights go out. The Angel leaves and Bathsheba and Solomon enter.
***
BATHSHEBA
He is dead. The king is dead. Oh, I have waited long for this day.
SOLOMON
How can you say that mother?!
BATHSHEBA
Your father... He was not a the man you think he was.
SOLOMON
He was a great father, and a greater king.
BATHSHEBA
I know you adored him, my son. But he was no saint, I can assure you.
SOLOMON
No one has ever told me of any sin my father committed. Why do you libel him so?
BATHSHEBA
If only you knew that man's true life story. You would throw his body to the hungry dogs of Jerusalem.
SOLOMON
How can you say such a thing?!
BATHSHEBA
Do you know what he took from me? Do you know WHO he took from me?
SOLOMON
No, mother. I do not know.
BATHSHEBA
He took my Uriah from me. He took the man I loved and had him killed.
SOLOMON
Why would he do such a thing?
BATHSHEBA
So he could take me.
SOLOMON
But why?
BATHSHEBA
Your father, the king, claimed it was a moment of weakness. But how can it be a moment of weakness if he conspired to send my poor Uriah to die at the hands of the Edomites. To die alone on the battlefield.
SOLOMON
If it's the Edomites who killed Uriah, than I will avenge his death.
BATHSHEBA
No, no, no. The Edomites are not to blame. It is your father.
SOLOMON
So what shall I do? Tell me, mother. What shall I do?
BATHSHEBA
The dogs are hungry.
SOLOMON
Seriously, mother. Now that he is dead, it would be improper to disrespect him.
BATHSHEBA
The dogs of Jerusalem look like they could use a good meal.
SOLOMON
Stop it!
BATHSHEBA
The poor hungry dogs of Jerusalem.
SOLOMON
ENOUGH!
BATHSHEBA
(Startled)
I see you are your father's son after all.
SOLOMON
Mother, what do you want me to do?
BATHSHEBA
Please my son. Do me this one favor. Let him lie in disgrace for but this one Sabbath afternoon and I will speak no more of the hungry dogs that live in the City of David.