Dear Student,
Thank you for contacting me with your excellent question about the seeming paradox of finding freedom by accepting the "yoke of the Torah", as it is called. I commend you for having undertaken to study Pirkei Avot, which as you're already discovering is a rich source of inspiration and teaching.
By way of responding to your question, I've created this Sefaria Source Sheet, focusing not on the Mishnayot that are explicitly about accepting the yoke of Torah, but rather on Mishnah 5:22 (in Sefaria's numbering of the Mishnayot). My intention isto illuminate the freedom we can find from deeply engaging with Torah study.
I hope that this will be helpful to you and expand your perspective on the benefits of studying Torah; in particular, I hope to draw your attention to the endless vistas of learning and wisdom we can attain when we devote ourselves, diligently, to Torah Study.
Here is our Mishnah:
(כב) בֶּן בַּג בַּג אוֹמֵר, הֲפֹךְ בָּהּ וַהֲפֹךְ בָּהּ, דְּכֹלָּא בָהּ. וּבָהּ תֶּחֱזֵי, וְסִיב וּבְלֵה בָהּ, וּמִנַּהּ לֹא תָזוּעַ, שֶׁאֵין לְךָ מִדָּה טוֹבָה הֵימֶנָּה:
(22) Ben Bag Bag said: Turn it over, and [again] turn it over, for all is therein. And look into it; And become gray and old therein; And do not move away from it, for you have no better portion than it.
What is the "it" - or the "her" - to which Ben Bag Bag refers? Most scholars concur that he is referring to our Torah itself. As you probably know, Hebrew is a gendered language, and "Torah" is a feminine word. Is the Torah an object? A phenomenon? A home?
Alternate translations:
Rabbi Rami Shapiro: Ben Bag Bag teaches: Turn Her and turn Her for all things are in Her; look deeply into her, grow old and gray with Her, and do not depart from Her, for there is nothing that surpasses Her. (p. 108)
Kravitz and Olitzky: Ben Bag Bag used to say: "Turn it, and turn it, for everything is in it. Reflect on it and grow old and gray with it. Don't turn from it, for nothing it better than it." (p. 89)
Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch: Ban Bagbag said: Occupy yourself with it over and over again, for everything is contained in it, and it is through it that your view will attain clarity. Grow old and gray with it and depart not from it, for there is no better pursuit for you than the Torah. (p. 145)
Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz: Ben Bag Bag says: Delve in it [the Torah] and continue to delve in it, for everything is in it; look deeply in it; grow old and gray over it, and do not stir from it, for you can have no better portion than it." (p. 362)
My translation: Ben Bag Bag used to say, of our dear Torah: consider her and consider her again, from all different angles. Everything is in her. Look deeply into her. Grow old with her. Allow your study of Torah to penetrate you as you age. Stay with her, do not move from her. There is no better thing that you can do.
Commentary from Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz:
"... this Mishnah points to what's fundamental about Jewish learning. All a person has to do is study the Torah and grow in one's wisdom. This is the key to a healthy intellectual life. But, of course, our Jewish texts are not easy. They require work... If there is a guiding principle to Jewish epistemology, it is that Torah is an expansive exercise of the mind. The whole of Torah is dedicated to the radical notion that human beings are better than their physical selves, that we have the inherent abiity to develop our potential and make it real in the world." (p. 362)
Commentary from Rabbi Rami Shapiro:
"Though later understood to refer to Torah, the "Her" here is Wisdom, the way of Life unfolding in the greater unity of God. Examine each moment and its call; look deeply into what it is that you might move in harmony with it; do not imagine that you are apart from Her, for there is nothing that is other than the One Who is God." p. 108]
Dear Student, I will share some of my personal experience of Torah Study with you, to illuminate one woman's perspective on the liberating and salutary effects of accepting the yoke of Torah.
It is difficult for me to express in words - but I will try - how my life has been expanded and changed by my daily study of Torah in the past nearly seven years. In fact, if someone had told me, at the start of my engagement with Torah study, how life-changing this endeavor would be for me, I wouldn't have believed them!
When I first heard our Mishnah, a few years after I'd started to study Torah every day, I experienced a shock of recognition. This was already my experience! Indeed, everything is in her!
Our Torah (and by this I mean our foundational texts - Tanakh, Talmud) includes deep and expansive wisdom about life, about human nature, about the most profound questions of ethics and morality and existence and transcendence... all of this wisdom is here, down the centuries, down the millennia, until this day. And when you expand your study to include commentaries, you will be invited even more into an indescribably thought-provoking, mind-expanding, soul-nourishing study hall which will welcome you and invite your to participate in ever-expanding levels of consciousness and soul.
Furthermore, the rhythmic routine of engaging with the Parsha Hashavua will put you into a cyclical life rhythm that you will find most salutary.
I'd like to highlight some other Mishnayot from Pirkei Avot that address your question of attaining freedom through accepting the yoke of Torah. Here, in Pirkei Avot 3:5, we have information about how engaging with Torah can liberate us from worldly concerns and preoccupation with current events (in one possible interpretation):
(ה) רַבִּי נְחוּנְיָא בֶּן הַקָּנָה אוֹמֵר, כָּל הַמְקַבֵּל עָלָיו עֹל תּוֹרָה, מַעֲבִירִין מִמֶּנּוּ עֹל מַלְכוּת וְעֹל דֶּרֶךְ אֶרֶץ. וְכָל הַפּוֹרֵק מִמֶּנּוּ עֹל תּוֹרָה, נוֹתְנִין עָלָיו עֹל מַלְכוּת וְעֹל דֶּרֶךְ אֶרֶץ:
(5) Rabbi Nehunia ben Hakkanah said: whoever takes upon himself the yoke of the Torah, they remove from him the yoke of government and the yoke of worldly concerns, and whoever breaks off from himself the yoke of the Torah, they place upon him the yoke of government and the yoke of worldly concerns.
Here we have another very thought-provoking Mishnah, Pirkei Avot 6:2 (most certainly worthy of a long discussion in itself!) about the freedom that can arise from Torah study. I also include a commentary from Rashi on this Mishnah as well as one from Pirkei deRabbi Eliezer.
אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן לֵוִי, בְּכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם בַּת קוֹל יוֹצֵאת מֵהַר חוֹרֵב וּמַכְרֶזֶת וְאוֹמֶרֶת, אוֹי לָהֶם לַבְּרִיּוֹת מֵעֶלְבּוֹנָהּ שֶׁל תּוֹרָה. שֶׁכָּל מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ עוֹסֵק בַּתּוֹרָה נִקְרָא נָזוּף, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי יא) נֶזֶם זָהָב בְּאַף חֲזִיר אִשָּׁה יָפָה וְסָרַת טָעַם. וְאוֹמֵר (שמות לב) וְהַלֻּחֹת מַעֲשֵׂה אֱלֹהִים הֵמָּה וְהַמִּכְתָּב מִכְתַּב אֱלֹהִים הוּא חָרוּת עַל הַלֻּחֹת, אַל תִּקְרָא חָרוּת אֶלָּא חֵרוּת, שֶׁאֵין לְךָ בֶן חוֹרִין אֶלָּא מִי שֶׁעוֹסֵק בְּתַלְמוּד תּוֹרָה. וְכָל מִי שֶׁעוֹסֵק בְּתַלְמוּד תּוֹרָה הֲרֵי זֶה מִתְעַלֶּה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (במדבר כא) וּמִמַּתָּנָה נַחֲלִיאֵל וּמִנַּחֲלִיאֵל בָּמוֹת:
Rabbi Joshua ben Levi said: every day a bat kol (a heavenly voice) goes forth from Mount Horeb and makes proclamation and says: “Woe unto humankind for their contempt towards the Torah”, for whoever does not occupy himself with the study of Torah is called, nazuf (the rebuked. As it is said, “Like a gold ring in the snout of a pig is a beautiful woman bereft of sense” (Proverbs 11:22). And it says, “And the tablets were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tablets” (Exodus 32:16). Read not haruth [‘graven’] but heruth [ ‘freedom’]. For there is no free man but one that occupies himself with the study of the Torah. And whoever regularly occupies himself with the study of the Torah he is surely exalted, as it is said, “And from Mattanah to Nahaliel; and Nahaliel to Bamoth” (Numbers 21:19).
על ידי התשובה האדם יוצא לחירות, מגלה את רצונו האמיתי. נשמתו משתחררת מכבלי היצר ומתחילה להאיר את דרכו, והחיים שבו מתעצמים. זהו שאמרו חכמים (אבות ו, ב): "אין לך בן חורין אלא מי שעוסק בתורה". כי התורה מדריכה את האדם בדרך האמת והטוב, שעל ידה יוכל להגשים את כל השאיפות הטובות שלו, את האידאליים האלוקיים שאליהם נשמתו נכספת.
By repenting, one is liberated, one can express his true desires. The soul is freed from the bonds of the evil inclination and begins to illuminate his path. His life force is strengthened. This is what our Sages mean when they say, “The only free person is one who studies Torah” (Avot 6:2). For the Torah guides a person on the true and right path. Through it, one can actualize all his positive aspirations: the divine ideals for which his soul longs.
Here is the commentary on Pirkei Avot 6:2 from Pirkei deRabbi Eliezer, which you may consider to be only obliquely connected to your original question (about the paradox of being freed by accepting a yoke). However, I see a very valuable connection: it points to the the boundless treasures that we can discover in when we engage with teachings. Please see the section I've highlighted, which talks about a "quarry of sapphires" being created for Moses in his tent, when he was to hew the second set of tablets.
רב כהנא אומר הלוחות לא נבראו מן הארץ אלא מן השמים מעשה ידיו של הקב"ה, שנאמר (שמות לב, טז): "וְהַלֻּחֹת מַעֲשֵׂה אֱלֹהִים הֵמָּה", המה הלוחות שהיו מקדם, "וְהַמִּכְתָּב מִכְתַּב אֱלֹהִים הוּא", הוא המכתב שהיה מקדם, "חָרוּת עַל הַלֻּחֹת", אל תקרי חרות אלא חירות. וכשאמר הקב"ה למשה (שם לד, א) "פְּסָל לְךָ שְׁנֵי לֻחֹת אֲבָנִים" מחצב סנפרינון נברא למשה בתוך אהלו וחצבן, שנאמר (שם, ד) "וַיִּפְסֹל שְׁנֵי לֻחֹת אֲבָנִים כָּרִאשׁוֹנִים", ירד משה עם הלוחות ועשה ארבעים יום בהר יושב לפני הקב"ה כתלמיד שהוא יושב לפני רבו קורא בדת מקרא ביום ושונה בדת משנה בלילה.
Rabbi Tachanah said: The tables (of the Law) were not created out of the earth but out of the heavens, the handicraft of the Holy One, blessed be He, as it is said, "And the tables, the work of God were they" (Ex. 32:16). They are the tables which were of old, "and the writing" was divine writing; that was the writing which was of old, "graven upon the tables." Do not read Charuth, "graven," but (read) Chêruth, "liberty." When the Holy One, blessed be He, said to Moses: "Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first" (Ex. 34:1), a quarry of sapphires was created for Moses in the midst of his tent, and he cut them out (thence), as it is said, "And he hewed two tables of stone like unto the first" (Ex. 34:4). Moses descended with the tables, and spent forty days on the mountain, sitting down before the Holy One, blessed be He, like a disciple who is sitting before his teacher, reading the Written Law, and repeating the Oral Law which he had learnt.
Before we end, I'd like to share teaching that I see in this Mishnah: it's about interacting with a Torah scroll itself, a Sefer Torah. There is a numinous sanctity that emanates from a Torah scroll. I pray that you will have a chance, as you proceed in your studies and in your engagement with Judaism, to be in the presence of a Sefer Torah – close up and personally. Perhaps a chance to chant from the scroll and share her sacred words with your community.
Certainly, when Ben Bag Bag talks about “turning and turning” the Torah, we can imagine that he’s referring to turning in a figurative sense - turning it over in our minds. But might he also be including a Rabbinic pun? When we open a Torah scroll, when we open it, we are turning it. We turn the handles, the etzai chaim, to navigate through the parshiot, the Torah portions. I recently brought a Sefer Torah into my home, and thus have the blessed opportunity to “turn it and turn it” frequently, as I open it to the verses I wish to study. So there can even be a physical dimension to the “turning and turning”!
Dear Student, I hope I have answered your question in some small measure. Please remember that you can find infinite expansive freedom of mind and spirit by devoting yourself to the study of Torah. Please remember that although it's called the "yoke" of Torah, there is a beautiful and mysterious paradoxical effect, that the more you devote yourself to her, the more you will discover unimagined vistas and possibilities of understanding of life.
I will close with another teaching from Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz that I would like to share with you, dear Student, that complements my final comments here:
"We need to be receptive to the notion of being spiritually creative in all of our endeavors.... Incorporating the vast fount of Torah knowledge into our lives is a reward rather than a burden for the Jewish people. When we reach a new understanding of divinity, human interconnectivity, and the dynamism of spiritual maturation, then we can celebrate our elevated consciousness." (pp 370-371)
If you devote yourself to Torah, you will see – your soul will be amplified and indeed you will feel liberated to new levels and new realms. All the best in your studies.