אש, תשוקה ומין
הדף מאת: אליזבט גולדוין / המדרשה באורנים
בקווי המהדרין נשים נדרשות לשבת בחלק האחורי של האוטובוס, חיילים מסרבים לשמוע נשים שרות, פרסומות שבהן מופיעות נשים מושחתות בירושלים, ועוד. הצניעות היא עיקרון חשוב. האם זו הדרך לשמור עליה? האם קיימת אפשרות נוספת מלבד הדרת נשים מזה והפקרות מינית מזה? מה אומרים על כך מקורותינו?
דיון
בקווי המהדרין נשים נדרשות לשבת בחלק האחורי של האוטובוס, חיילות מגורשות מיחידותיהן בגלל גיוס חיילים דתיים, צוערים מסרבים לשמוע נשים שרות, פרסומות שבהן מופיעות נשים מושחתות בירושלים, ויש אפילו ערוץ רדיו שבו קולן של נשים לא נשמע גם בדיבור. הצניעות היא עיקרון חשוב. האם זו הדרך לשמור עליה?

האם קיימת אפשרות אחרת מלבד הדרת נשים ופגיעה בזכויותיהן מזה והפקרות מינית מזה? מה אומרים על כך מקורותינו?
שבויות אלה שהגיעו לנהרדעא, העלו אותן לעליית הגג בבית רב עמרם החסיד.

לקחו הסולם מלפניהן [כדי לנתקן משאר יושבי בית].

כשחלפה אחת מהן על הפתח נפל בו זוהר בתוכו.

הרים רב עמרם את הסולם, שעשרה אנשים יחד לא יכלו להרימו, לבדו, העמידו והיה מטפס ועולה.

כשהגיע לאמצע הסולם, אפשח* וצעק: "אש בבית עמרם!"

באו החכמים, אמרו לו: "ביישתנו!"

אמר להם: מוטב תתביישו ממני בעולם הזה ולא תתביישו ממני לעולם הבא.

השׁביעוֹ! [רב עמרם את היצר הרע, שייצא ממנו], יצא ממנו כעמוד של אש. אמר לו [רב עמרם]: ראה, שאני בשר ואתה אש, ואני עדיף ממך.

הסברים
  • אפשח
    שטיינזלץ - התחזק
    רש"י - הרחיב ופיסק רגליו לעמוד במקומו בחוזקה, להתגבר על יצרו.
  • נפל בו זוהר בתוכו
    שטיינזלץ - נעשה אור בארובה משום שהיתה יפה ביותר.
    רש"י - נפל אור בבית דרך פי העליה שהיו פניה מאירות.
how to warn him not to engage in intercourse with her, since that would neutralize the effectiveness of the examination of the waters. Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: The Sages taught that two men may seclude themselves with one woman only in a city, where others are present, but on the road it is not permitted unless there are three. Why are two men insufficient on the road? Perhaps one of them will need to urinate and will walk away, and it will turn out that one person will be secluded with a woman forbidden to him. The Gemara suggests: Shall we say the mishna quoted above supports him: They provide him with two Torah scholars to accompany them lest he engage in sexual intercourse with her along the way? He and two Torah scholars are three, which indicates that there is a requirement for three men when they are traveling. The Gemara answers: That is no proof, as there, in the case of the sota, there is a requirement for an additional two men in order that they should serve as witnesses about him, to testify whether or not he engaged in intercourse with her along the way. The Gemara relates: Rav and Rav Yehuda were walking along the way, and a certain woman was walking ahead of them. Rav said to Rav Yehuda: Raise your feet and walk quickly away from Gehenna so that we do not remain secluded with her. Rav Yehuda said to him: But wasn’t it you, Master, who said that it is permitted in the case of men of fit morals? Rav said to him: Who says that I referred to men of fit morals such as you and me? Rav Yehuda responded: Rather, such as whom? Rav answered: Such as Rabbi Ḥanina bar Pappi and his colleagues, who have proven that they can withstand temptation (see 39b). All other people are not trusted in this matter. Rav says: The court flogs a man due to his being secluded with a woman. But a wife is not forbidden to her husband, and an unmarried woman is not prohibited from marrying a priest due to being secluded, as it cannot be stated definitively that the secluded pair engaged in sexual intercourse. Rav Ashi says: We stated the halakha that one is flogged due to being secluded only with an unmarried woman, but for being secluded with a married woman, one is not flogged. Why not? It is so that there should not be rumors spread concerning her children. If the secluded pair is flogged, everyone will assume that they engaged in intercourse, and people will consider her children to be mamzerim, whereas in fact they were flogged only for being secluded. The Gemara relates: Mar Zutra would even flog one who was secluded with a married woman, and he would proclaim the reason for the punishment. Rav Naḥman from Parhatya said to Rav Ashi: Let the Master also flog and proclaim the reason. Rav Ashi said to him: I am hesitant to do so, in case there are those who hear about this, i.e., the flogging, and do not hear about that, i.e., the reason for the flogging. Rav says: The court flogs one due to his being the subject of a bad rumor, meaning that not only is a person flogged when the facts have been ascertained, but even when he has only reportedly committed transgressions he may be flogged. As it is stated: “No, my sons, for it is no good report” (I Samuel 2:24). When Mar Zutra would flog a person for being the subject of a bad rumor, he would place the bridle of a donkey on the person’s shoulders and recite before him when administering lashes: “No, my sons, for it is no good report,” so that people would know why he was being flogged. Rabba says: If a woman’s husband is in town, there is no concern due to her being secluded with a man. People are afraid to sin with her, since they cannot be sure when her husband will return. Rav Yosef says: If there is an open entrance to the public domain there is no concern due to being secluded. The Gemara relates: Rav Beivai arrived at Rav Yosef’s house. After he wrapped his bread, i.e., ate his meal, he said to the members of the household: Remove the ladder from beneath Beivai, who was going to sleep in the upper story, so that he not be able to climb down, due to the prohibition of being secluded with Rav Yosef’s wife. The Gemara asks: But doesn’t Rabba say: If her husband is in town, there is no concern due to her being secluded with a man? The Gemara answers: Rav Beivai is different, since Rav Yosef’s wife was his friend and she was familiar with him, and therefore there was more cause for concern. Rav Kahana says: If the men are located on the outside, i.e., in the outer room, and the women in the inside, i.e., in the inner room, there is no concern due to being secluded. Even if one of the men were to enter the inner room, he would be seen by the other men. By contrast, if there were men in the inside and women on the outside, there is a concern due to being secluded, since one of the men can claim that he is leaving and in fact join the women. The Gemara comments: The opposite was taught in a baraita, that if the men are on the outside and the women are inside there is concern due to being secluded, as one of the men might venture inside without being noticed, but if the men are inside and the women are outside, he knows that one of the other men might go out through the women’s quarters at any time, and therefore there is no concern due to being secluded. Abaye said: Now that Rav Kahana has said the halakha in this manner and a baraita teaches the opposite, we shall act stringently in both cases. Abaye would arrange rows of pitchers between the men and women, so that they would not be able to cross from one area to the other without making noise. Rava would arrange rows of reeds to prevent passage. Avin said: The wound [sakva], i.e., the vulnerable point, of the year is the Festival, since men and women would come together on these joyous occasions, and this would lead to sin. § The Gemara relates: Those captive women who were brought to Neharde’a, where they were redeemed, were brought up to the house of Rav Amram the Pious. They removed the ladder from before them to prevent men from climbing up after them to the attic where they were to sleep. When one of them passed by the entrance to the upper chamber, it was as though a light shone in the aperture due to her great beauty. Out of his desire for her, Rav Amram grabbed a ladder that ten men together could not lift, lifted it on his own and began climbing. When he was halfway up the ladder, he strengthened his legs against the sides of the ladder to stop himself from climbing further, raised his voice, and cried out: There is a fire in the house of Amram. Upon hearing this, the Sages came and found him in that position. They said to him: You have embarrassed us, since everyone sees what you had intended to do. Rav Amram said to them: It is better that you be shamed in Amram’s house in this world, and not be ashamed of him in the World-to-Come. He took an oath that his evil inclination should emerge from him, and an apparition similar to a pillar of fire emerged from him. He said to his evil inclination: See, as you are fire and I am mere flesh, and yet, I am still superior to you, as I was able to overcome you. The Gemara relates: Rabbi Meir would ridicule transgressors by saying it is easy to avoid temptation. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman standing on the other side of the river. Since there was no ferry to cross the river, he took hold of a rope bridge and crossed the river. When he reached halfway across the rope bridge, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Meir and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a, i.e., completely worthless, since you would have fallen completely from your spiritual level. Rabbi Akiva would likewise ridicule transgressors. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman at the top of a palm tree. Rabbi Akiva grabbed hold of the palm tree and began climbing. When he was halfway up the palm tree, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Akiva and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a. The Sage Peleimu had the habit to say every day: An arrow in the eye of Satan, mocking the temptations of the evil inclination. One day, it was the eve of Yom Kippur, and Satan appeared to him as a pauper who came and called him to the door, requesting alms. Peleimu brought out bread to him. Satan said to him: On a day like today, everyone is inside eating, and shall I stand outside and eat? Peleimu brought him inside and gave him bread. He said to him: On a day like today, everyone is sitting at the table, and shall I sit by myself? They brought him and sat him at the table. He was sitting and had covered himself with boils and pus, and he was doing repulsive things at the table. Peleimu said to the pauper:
דיון
רב עמרם החסיד הוא מאמוראי בבל בדור השלישי, וכינויו 'חסיד' מעיד עליו שנחשב לאדם אמין במיוחד.

מה קרה לו? מניין נכנס בו כוח להרים סולם שעשרה אנשים נחוצים להרימו?

מה דעתכם: האם באמת אי אפשר להתגבר לבד על אש התשוקה? מהו ניסיון החיים שלכם?

האם יש הבדל בין נשים לגברים בעניין זה?

אם אכן אי אפשר להתגבר לבד על האש, הרי שעמדת המחמירים בהפרדת נשים מגברים מוצדקת.

האם זו הגישה היחידה במקורות?
רב כהנא נכנס שכב תחת מיטתו של רב [המורה שלו]

שמע אותו משוחח ושוחק ומשמש מיטתו [מקיים יחסי מין]

אמר לו: דומה פיו של אבא כמי שלא אכל תבשיל

אמר לו: כהנא כאן אתה? צא! שאין זה דרך ארץ.

אמר לו: תורה היא וללמוד אני צריך.

הסברים
  • רש"י: דשח ושחק - עם אשתו שיחה בטלה של ריצוי תשמיש. כדלא שריף תבשילא - כאדם רעב, כמו שלא שמשת מטתך מעולם שאתה נוהג קלות ראש זה לתאותך.
It was taught in a baraita in tractate Derekh Eretz that Rabbi Akiva said: I once entered the bathroom after my teacher Rabbi Yehoshua, and I learned three things from observing his behavior: I learned that one should not defecate while facing east and west, but rather while facing north and south; I learned that one should not uncover himself while standing, but while sitting, in the interest of modesty; and I learned that one should not wipe with his right hand, but with his left. Ben Azzai, a student of Rabbi Akiva, said to him: You were impertinent to your teacher to that extent that you observed that much? He replied: It is Torah, and I must learn. Similarly, we learned in a baraita: Ben Azzai said: I once entered a bathroom after Rabbi Akiva, and I learned three things from observing his behavior: I learned that one should not defecate while facing east and west, but rather while facing north and south; I learned that one should not uncover himself while standing, but while sitting; and I learned that one should not wipe with his right hand, but with his left. Rabbi Yehuda said to him: You were impertinent to your teacher to that extent? He replied: It is Torah, and I must learn. On a similar note, the Gemara relates that Rav Kahana entered and lay beneath Rav’s bed. He heard Rav chatting and laughing with his wife, and seeing to his needs, i.e., having relations with her. Rav Kahana said to Rav: The mouth of Abba, Rav, is like one whom has never eaten a cooked dish, i.e., his behavior was lustful. Rav said to him: Kahana, you are here? Leave, as this is an undesirable mode of behavior. Rav Kahana said to him: It is Torah, and I must learn. The Gemara asks: Why must one not wipe himself with his right hand, but with his left? Rava said: Because the Torah was given with the right hand, as it is stated: “At His right hand was a fiery law unto them” (Deuteronomy 33:2). Rabba bar bar Ḥana said: Because the right hand is close to the mouth, i.e., people eat with the right hand. And Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said: Because one ties the phylacteries onto his left hand with his right hand. Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak said: Because one points to the cantillation notes of the Torah with his right hand. The Gemara notes that this is parallel to a tannaitic dispute: Rabbi Eliezer says: One is forbidden to wipe himself with his right hand because he eats with it. Rabbi Yehoshua says: Because he writes with it. Rabbi Akiva says: Because he points to the notes of the Torah with it. Rabbi Tanḥum bar Ḥanilai said: Anyone who is modest in the bathroom will be saved from three things: From snakes, from scorpions and from demons. And some say that even his dreams will be settling for him. The Gemara relates: There was a particular bathroom in the city of Tiberias, where, when two would enter it, even during the day, they would be harmed by demons. When Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Asi would each enter alone, they were not harmed. The Sages said to them: Aren’t you afraid? Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Asi said to them: We have learned through tradition: The tradition to avoid danger in the bathroom is to conduct oneself with modesty and silence. The tradition to end suffering is with silence and prayer. Because fear of demons in bathrooms was pervasive, the Gemara relates: Abaye’s mother raised a lamb to accompany him to the bathroom. The Gemara objects: She should have raised a goat for him. The Gemara responds: A goat could be interchanged with a goat-demon. Since both the demon and the goat are called sa’ir, they were afraid to bring a goat to a place frequented by demons. Before Rava became the head of the yeshiva, his wife, the daughter of Rav Ḥisda, would rattle a nut in a copper vessel for him. This was in order to fend off demons when he was in the bathroom. After he was chosen to preside as head of the yeshiva, he required an additional degree of protection, so she constructed a window for him, opposite where he would defecate, and placed her hand upon his head. With regard to where one may or may not go to defecate, Ulla said: Behind a fence, one need not distance himself from people and may defecate immediately. In a valley or open field, one must distance himself sufficiently so that if he passes wind, no one will hear him. Isi bar Natan taught as follows: Behind a fence one must distance himself sufficiently so that if he passes wind another does not hear him, and in a valley, one must distance himself sufficiently so that no one can see him. The Gemara raises an objection based on what we learned in a mishna in Teharot: Physical laborers, who usually fall into the category of am ha’aretz and are not generally cautious with regard to the laws of ritual purity, exit from the entrance of the olive press, defecate behind the fence, and are ritually pure. There is no reason to be concerned that they might become impure in the interim. This indicates that a greater distance is unnecessary. The Gemara responds: With regard to the laws of ritual purity, they were lenient. To ensure maintenance of purity, they were lenient and did not require a greater distance. Come and hear from what we learned: How far may workers distance themselves, and the fruit and oil will remain pure? They may distance themselves only so far that he still sees him. This contradicts the opinion of Isi bar Natan, who required them to distance themselves sufficiently that they may not be seen. The Gemara responds: Those who eat in purity are different, as the Sages were lenient with them. Rav Ashi said: What is the meaning of: So long as another does not see him, which was the standard that Isi bar Natan said? Sufficient that another person cannot see his nakedness, although he does see him. The Gemara relates: There was a particular eulogizer who went to eulogize an important person in the presence of Rav Naḥman. Of the deceased, he said: This man was modest in his ways. Rav Naḥman said to him: Did you go to the bathroom with him and know whether or not he was modest? As we learned in a baraita: One can only describe as modest one who is modest even in the bathroom, when no one else is there. The Gemara asks: And what difference did it make to Rav Naḥman, that he was so insistent upon the details of whether or not this man was modest? The Gemara answers: Because it was taught in a baraita: Just as the deceased are punished, so too are the eulogizers and those who answer after them.The deceased are punished for transgressions committed in their lifetimes. The eulogizers and those who answer are punished for accepting the attribution of virtues that the deceased did not possess. The Sages taught in a baraita: Who is a modest person? One who defecates at night where he defecates during the day, i.e., who distances himself at night, in order to relieve himself, no less than he distances himself during the day. The Gemara challenges: Is that so? Didn’t Rav Yehuda say that Rav said: One must always accustom himself to defecate in the morning and at night, when it is dark, so that he will not need to distance himself? Moreover, during the day, Rava would go up to a mil outside the city, and at night he would tell his servant: Clear a place for me in the city street. And so too, Rabbi Zeira told his servant: See who is behind the study hall, as I need to defecate. These Sages did not defecate at night in the same place where they defecated during the day. Rather, emend the statement and say as follows: In the manner that one defecates during the day, i.e. he should conduct himself at night with the same degree of modesty with which he removes his clothing when defecating during the day. Rav Ashi said: Even if you say that the text can remain as it was: Where he defecates during the day, it was only necessary in the case of a corner, where one may conceal himself. In the interest of modesty, he should go around the corner at night, just as he does during the day. The Gemara discusses the matter itself. Rav Yehuda said that Rav said: One must always accustom himself to defecate early in the morning and late at night so that he will not need to distance himself. That opinion was also taught in a baraita: Ben Azzai said: Rise early in the morning and go defecate, wait for evening and go defecate, so that you will not need to distance yourself. He also said: Touch around the anus first to assist in the opening of orifices and then sit; do not sit and then touch, for anyone who sits and then touches, even if sorcery is performed in a distant place like Aspamia, the sorcery will come upon him. The Gemara says: And if one forgets and sits and then touches, what is his remedy? When he stands, he should recite the following incantation: Not for me, not for me, neither taḥim nor taḥtim, types of sorcery, neither these nor from these, neither the sorcery of a sorcerer nor the sorcery of a sorceress.
דיון
מדוע נכנס רב כהנא אל מתחת למיטת רבו?

מה הוא שומע שם?

מדוע הוא מזועזע?

מה פירוש: תורה היא וללמוד אני צריך?

האם גישת מספר סיפור זה דומה לגישת מספר הסיפור על רב עמרם החסיד?

במקור הבא נראה האם רב כהנא למד את היטב את השיעור.
אמר מין אחד לרב כהנא: אתם אומרים: אישה בזמן נידתה מותר לה להתייחד עם בעלה. האם אש יכולה לגעת בפשתן בלי שתישרף?

אמר לו: התורה העידה עלינו "סוגה בשושנים" (שיר השירים ז ג), שאפילו [אם מה שמבדיל בין האדם לחטא הוא רק כמו גדר] כסוגה בשושנים לא יפרצו בהן פרצות.

הסברים
  • אישה בזמן נידתה מותר לה להתייחד עם בעלה: אסור לאישה נידה לקיים יחסי מין עם בעלה, אבל לפי חז"ל, מותר לה להיות איתו לבד בחדר אחד.
And three rows of Torah scholars sit before the judges, and each and every one among those sitting recognizes his place, i.e., they are seated in accordance with their stature. When the court must ordain an additional judge, e.g., if a judge dies during the proceedings or in the case of a court without a decisive majority (see 40a), the court ordains the greatest Torah scholar from the first row. As a seat in the first row is now vacant, one Torah scholar from the second row comes to the first row, and one Torah scholar from the third row comes to the second row, and the court selects another Torah scholar from among the assembled and they seat him in the third row. And this Torah scholar who moves from the second row to the first row would not sit in the place of the first Torah scholar, who joined the court, rather, he would sit in the place appropriate for him, i.e., at the end of that row, in accordance with his stature. GEMARA: The mishna teaches that the Sanhedrin would sit in a semicircle. The Gemara asks: From where are these matters derived? Rabbi Aḥa bar Ḥanina says: As the verse states: “Your navel is like a round goblet, let no mingled wine be wanting; your belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies” (Song of Songs 7:3). This verse is interpreted as referring to the members of the Sanhedrin, who sit in a semicircle. “Your navel”; this is an allusion to the Sanhedrin. And why is it called by way of allusion “your navel”? It is because it sits in the navel of the world, in the Temple. “Goblet [aggan]”; this teaches that the Sanhedrin protects [meginna] the entire world with its merit. “Round [hassahar]”; this teaches that the Sanhedrin is similar to the moon [sahar]. The court sits in a semicircle, like the shape of the moon. “Let no mingled wine be wanting”; this compares the Sanhedrin to wine mixed with water, which typically involved mixing two parts water with one part wine. This teaches that if one member of the Great Sanhedrin needed to leave, they see: If there are still present in the Chamber of Hewn Stone twenty-three members, i.e., a third of the judges, corresponding to the number of a lesser Sanhedrin, he may leave, but if not, he may not leave. The phrase “your belly is like a heap of wheat” teaches that just as with regard to a heap of wheat, all derive benefit from it, so too, with regard to the Sanhedrin, all derive benefit from their explanations of the Torah. The phrase “set about with lilies” is said in praise of the Jewish people, as they do not breach even a fence made of lilies, since the Jewish people observe both Torah law as well as rabbinic ordinances and decrees. And this is like an incident involving Rav Kahana, as a certain heretic said to Rav Kahana: You say that it is permitted for a menstruating woman to seclude herself with a man, i.e., her husband. Is it possible to set fire to chips of kindling and not have them blaze and burn? How can the couple be relied upon not to engage in sexual intercourse? Rav Kahana said to him: The Torah testifies concerning us that we are “set about with lilies,” as the Jewish people do not breach even a fence made of lilies. Reish Lakish says that the source to rely on them not to transgress is from here: “Your temples [rakkatekh] are like a pomegranate split open” (Song of Songs 6:7), which teaches that even the empty people [reikanin] among you are as full of mitzvot as the pomegranate is full of seeds. Rabbi Zeira says that the source is from here: The verse states concerning the occasion when Isaac blessed Jacob: “And he smelled the smell of his garments, and blessed him, and said: See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed” (Genesis 27:27). Do not read “his garments [begadav]”; rather, read: His traitors [bogedav], meaning that even traitors and sinners among the Jewish people have qualities “as the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed.” The Gemara relates: There were certain hooligans [biryonei] who were living in the neighborhood of Rabbi Zeira. He brought them close, i.e., treated them with friendship, in order to cause them to repent of their sins, but the other Sages disapproved of his actions. When Rabbi Zeira died, those hooligans said: Until now, there was the short one with singed legs, i.e., Rabbi Zeira, who would pray for compassion for us. Who will pray for compassion for us now? They thought about this in their hearts and repented. Ultimately, Rabbi Zeira’s actions were proven correct, as they repented. § The mishna teaches that there are three rows of Torah scholars who sit before the court, and if one of the Torah scholars from the first row is elevated to a place on the court, the Torah scholar in the first position of the second row moves to the final position of the first row. Abaye says: Learn from the mishna that when they move, i.e., when the Torah scholars need to move as a result of one of them being elevated to the court, they all move. The Gemara inquires: But let the one being moved from the first position of the second row to the last position of the first row say to the court: Until now I was sitting at the head of the row, but now you are seating me at the tail, i.e., the end, of a row. Abaye says in explanation: That is not a valid claim, as the court can say this to him: Be a tail to the lions and do not be a head to the foxes (Avot 4:15), meaning that it is preferable to be the least among great people than the greatest among lesser people. MISHNA: How does the court intimidate the witnesses in giving testimony for cases of capital law? They would bring the witnesses in and intimidate them by saying to them: Perhaps what you say in your testimony is based on conjecture, or perhaps it is based on a rumor, perhaps it is testimony based on hearsay, e.g., you heard a witness testify to this in a different court, or perhaps it is based on the statement of a trusted person. Perhaps you do not know that ultimately we examine you with inquiry and interrogation, and if you are lying, your lie will be discovered. The court tells them: You should know that cases of capital law are not like cases of monetary law. In cases of monetary law, a person who testifies falsely, causing money to be given to the wrong party, can give the money to the proper owner and his sin is atoned for. In cases of capital law, if one testifies falsely, the blood of the accused and the blood of his offspring that he did not merit to produce are ascribed to the witness’s testimony until eternity. The proof for this is as we found with Cain, who killed his brother, as it is stated concerning him: “The voice of your brother’s blood [demei] cries out to Me from the ground” (Genesis 4:10). The verse does not state: Your brother’s blood [dam], in the singular, but rather: “Your brother’s blood [demei],” in the plural. This serves to teach that the loss of both his brother’s blood and the blood of his brother’s offspring are ascribed to Cain. The mishna notes: Alternatively, the phrase “your brother’s blood [demei],” written in the plural, teaches that that his blood was not gathered in one place but was splattered on the trees and on the stones. The court tells the witnesses: Therefore, Adam the first man was created alone, to teach you that with regard to anyone who destroys one soul from the Jewish people, i.e., kills one Jew, the verse ascribes him blame as if he destroyed an entire world, as Adam was one person, from whom the population of an entire world came forth. And conversely, anyone who sustains one soul from the Jewish people, the verse ascribes him credit as if he sustained an entire world. The mishna cites another reason Adam the first man was created alone: And this was done due to the importance of maintaining peace among people, so that one person will not say to another: My father, i.e., progenitor, is greater than your father. And it was also so that the heretics who believe in multiple gods will not say: There are many authorities in Heaven, and each created a different person. And this serves to tell of the greatness of the Holy One, Blessed be He, as when a person stamps several coins with one seal, they are all similar to each other. But the supreme King of kings, the Holy One, Blessed be He, stamped all people with the seal of Adam the first man, as all of them are his offspring, and not one of them is similar to another. Therefore, since all humanity descends from one person, each and every person is obligated to say: The world was created for me, as one person can be the source of all humanity, and recognize the significance of his actions. The court says to the witnesses: And perhaps you will say:
דיון
כדאי לשים לב לכך שגם כאן מדומה התשוקה המינית לאש ושגיבור הסיפור הוא אותו רב כהנא מהסיפור הקודם.

מה הוא אומר ל"מין" (לאיש שאינו מאמין בהתגברות על היצר)?

האם ואיך זה קשור לסיפור הקודם על רב כהנא?

האם הוא צודק? מה דעתכם?

אם הוא צודק, אולי לא חובה להדיר נשים ולפגוע בזכויותיהן? מענין לראות שהעמדה הכי קיצונית היום בענין הפרדת נשים מגברים מיוצגת בסיפורנו על ידי ה"מין" דווקא ולא על ידי החכם.

לסיום, נעיין בסיפור אחד נוסף מן התלמוד ושתי פרשנויותיו.
הדרכת כלות

אמר להו רב חסדא לבנתיה: תיהוי צניעתן באפי גברייכו,

לא תיכלון נהמא באפי גברייכו,

לא תיכלון ירקא בליליא, לא תיכלון תמרי בליליא, ולא תשתון שיכרא בליליא,

ולא תיפנון היכא דמפני גברייכו.

וכי קא קארי אבבא איניש לא תימרון מנו אלא מני.

נקיט מרגניתא בחדא ידיה, וכורא בחדא ידיה. מרגניתא - אחוי להו, וכורא לא אחוי להו, עד דמיצטערן, והדר אחוי להו.

פירוש ותרגום שטיינזלץ:

אמר רב חסדא לבנותיו: היו צנועות בפני בעליכן

אל תאכלו לחם בפני בעליכן -[שמא תאכלו אכילת יתר ותתגנו בעיניהם]

אל תאכלו ירק בלילה- [שגורם לריח רע] אל תאכלו תמרים בלילה ואל תשתו שכר בלילה- [שכל אלו משלשלים]

ואל תתפנו לצרכים בפני בעליכן- [שמא תמאסו עליהם]

וכאשר קורא אדם על הפתח, אל תגידו :"מי זה?" אלא "מי זו?" [שיראו שאין להן עסק עם גברים אחרים].

לקח [ר' חסדא] מרגלית בידו האחת ורגב עפר בידו השניה . את המרגלית הראה להן ואת הרגב הסתיר עד שהצטערו ואחר כך הראה להן- ללמדן שדבר מוצנע מושך יותר מדבר גלוי ואפילו פחות בערכו.

הסברים
  • פירוש רש"י: לא תיכלון לחם בפני בעליכן - פעמים תאכל הרבה ותתגנה עליו: לא תיכלון ירקא בלילה - מפני ריח הפה, שיכרא ותמרי - משלשלין ומביאין לידי הפחה: לא תתפנו - בגילוי בפניהם בשדות, ואפילו שלא בפניהם, לא תימרון מנו - מי הוא, לשון זכר.. . אלא מני - מי היא: נקיט מרגנית כו' - כשבעליך ממשמש ביך להתאוות ליך לתשמיש, ואוחז הדדים בידו אחת והאחרת עד אותו מקום. מרגניתא אחוין ליה - הדדין המציאו לו, שתתרבה תאותו, ומקום תשמיש אל תמציאי לו מהר, כדי שתתרבה תאותו וחיבתו ויצטער, ורק אז חזרי ותני לו.
to remove it from the reed upon which it is hanging is permitted; however, to remove the reed from it is prohibited. Since the reed is not a vessel, it is set-aside. Rava said: And if it is hung on a weaver’s vessel, it is permitted to remove the vessel as well. Although its primary function is for a prohibited labor, since it is a vessel, it may be moved. Rav Ḥisda said: This bundle of vegetables, if it is suitable for animal food, it is permitted to move it on Shabbat, but if not, it is prohibited to move it. Rav Ḥiyya bar Ashi said that Rav said as follows: In the case of this hook, if it is used for hanging meat, it is permitted to move it, as it is also suitable for other uses. However, if it is a hook for hanging fish, it is prohibited to move it, because it smells bad (Rabbeinu Ḥananel) and is used exclusively for fish. Rav Ketina said: One who stands on a board in the middle of a bed, it is as though he were standing on the stomach of a woman. Just as he would certainly injure the woman, he will certainly break the bed (ge’onim). The Gemara comments: And it is not a correct matter, and it is not accepted as halakha. On the topic of the bundle of vegetables, the Gemara cites additional advice on similar issues that Rav Ḥisda said to poor scholars experiencing difficulty earning a livelihood: A student of a Torah academy who buys vegetables should buy long ones. A bundle is a bundle, and they have a standard thickness at a standard price. However, the addition of length comes on its own for free. And Rav Ḥisda also said: A student of a Torah academy who buys reeds should buy long ones, since a bundle is a bundle. Bundles of reeds have a standard thickness, but the length comes on its own for free. And Rav Ḥisda further said: A student of a Torah academy who does not have much bread should not eat a vegetable, because it whets the appetite. And Rav Ḥisda said: I neither ate a vegetable in my state of poverty, nor did I eat a vegetable in my state of wealth. In my poverty, I did not eat a vegetable because it whets the appetite. In my wealth, I did not eat a vegetable because I said: Where a vegetable enters, let meat and fish enter instead. And Rav Ḥisda said: A student of a Torah academy who does not have much bread should not cut it into thin slices; rather, he should eat what he has in one helping. And Rav Ḥisda said: A student of a Torah academy who does not have much bread should not break it for guests. What is the reason? As he will not do so in a generous manner. And Rav Ḥisda said: Originally, I would not break bread until I placed my hand in the entire dish to assure that I found that there was enough bread to meet my needs. And Rav Ḥisda also said: One who is able to eat barley bread and nevertheless eats wheat bread violates the prohibition against wanton destruction. One who wastes resources is comparable to one who destroys items of value. And Rav Pappa said: One who is able to drink beer and nevertheless drinks wine violates the prohibition against wanton destruction. The Gemara comments: And this is not a correct matter, as the prohibition against destruction of one’s body takes precedence. It is preferable for one to care for his body by eating higher quality food than to conserve his money. And Rav Ḥisda said: A student of a Torah academy who has no oil should wash, i.e., smear himself, with ditch water, as the scum that accumulates in it is as useful as oil. And Rav Ḥisda said: A student of a Torah academy who buys meat should buy from the neck [unka], as there are three types of meat there. And Rav Ḥisda said: A student of a Torah academy who buys a linen shirt [kitonita] should buy it from those who work by the river Abba, and should wash it every thirty days, so that it will last him for the twelve months of the year. And I guarantee that the shirt will remain in good shape. The Gemara comments: What is the meaning of kitonita? A fine class [kita], as fine clothing provide one entry into a well-dressed class of people. And Rav Ḥisda said: A student of a Torah academy should not sit on a new mat, as its dampness ruins his garments. And Rav Ḥisda said: A student of a Torah academy should not give his clothes to his host to wash for him, as that is not proper behavior, for the host might see something on it, such as signs of a seminal emission, and he will be demeaned in the eyes of his host. After citing Rav Ḥisda’s recommendations to students, the Gemara cites his advice to his daughters. Rav Ḥisda said to his daughters: Be modest before your husbands; do not eat bread before your husbands, lest you eat too much and be demeaned in their eyes. Similarly, he advised: Do not eat vegetables at night, as vegetables cause bad breath. Do not eat dates at night and do not drink beer at night, as these loosen the bowels. And do not relieve yourself in the place where your husbands relieve themselves, so that they will not be revolted by you. And when a person calls at the door seeking to enter, do not say: Who is it, in the masculine form, but rather: Who is it, in the feminine form. Avoid creating the impression that you have dealings with other men. In order to demonstrate the value of modesty to his daughters, Rav Ḥisda held a pearl in one hand and a clod of earth in the other. The pearl he showed them immediately, and the clod of earth, he did not show them until they were upset due to their curiosity, and then he showed it to them. This taught them that a concealed object is more attractive than one on display, even if it is less valuable. We learned in the mishna: One may not soak vetches in water in order to separate them from their chaff. However, one may take the straw in a sieve and place it into the trough of an animal. The Gemara comments: The mishna is not in accordance with the opinion of this tanna, as it was taught in a baraita: Rabbi Eliezer ben Ya’akov says: One may not look at a sieve at all on Shabbat, lest one come to violate the prohibited labor of selecting. MISHNA: One may sweep hay from before an animal that is being fattened, and one may move hay to the sides for an animal that grazes on its own in the field (Rabbeinu Ḥananel); this is the statement of Rabbi Dosa. And the Rabbis prohibit doing so. One may take hay from before this animal and place it before that animal on Shabbat. GEMARA: A dilemma was raised before the Sages: Do the Rabbis, who are stringent, disagree with the first clause of Rabbi Dosa’s statement, or do they disagree with the latter clause of the mishna, or do they disagree with both clauses? Come and hear a resolution from that which was taught in a baraita. And the Rabbis say: With regard to both this, hay placed before an animal set aside for fattening, and that, hay placed before an animal that grazes on its own, one may not move it to the sides. Apparently, the Rabbis rule stringently in both cases. Rav Ḥisda said: This dispute is with regard to a trough formed in the ground; however, with regard to a trough which is a vessel, everyone agrees that it is permitted. The Gemara expresses surprise: Is there anyone who permits doing so in a trough formed in the ground? Isn’t one leveling holes and thereby performing the prohibited labors of building or plowing? Rather, if it was stated, it was stated as follows: Rav Ḥisda said: This dispute applies only to a trough that is a vessel; however, with regard to a trough formed in the ground, everyone agrees that it is prohibited, due to the concern lest one level holes. We also learned in the mishna: One may take hay from before this animal and place it before that animal. It was taught in one baraita: One may take hay from before an animal whose mouth is fine and place it before an animal whose mouth is foul. And it was taught in another baraita: One may take hay from before an animal whose mouth is foul and place it in front of an animal whose mouth is fine. There is an apparent contradiction between the two baraitot. Abaye said: Both this baraita and that baraita hold that one may take hay from before a donkey and place it before an ox. However, one may not take hay from before an ox and place it before a donkey. The formulation of the baraitot can be explained as follows: That which was taught: One may take hay from before an animal whose mouth is fine, is referring to a donkey, and the reason the baraita says its mouth is fine is because it has no spittle. Therefore, the donkey does not dampen the remaining hay with its saliva. And the statement: And one may place it before an animal whose mouth is foul, is referring to a cow,
דיון
השוו את שני הפירושים לסיפור.

רש"י כתב את פירושו במאה ה 11 (בצרפת אמנם...) ושטיינזלץ בימינו.

מהי עמדתו של רב חסדא ביחס למין? מהי עמדתו של עורך הסוגיה המביא סיפור זה בתלמוד?

האם טקסט כזה ראוי להימצא בתלמוד?

החשש מן היצר המיני לא הומצא בימינו. הוא עתיק יומין. אבל לא פחות עתיקה ממנו גישה הדורשת ומצפה מן האדם לשלוט ביצריו ולהנות מהם בנסיבות הנכונות. ייתכן שיש קשר בין הדיכוי הקיצוני של היצר המיני לפחד הדמוני ממנו. ולהיפך, יכולת השליטה באה עם ההנאה והשמחה שבמימוש היצרים עם בן/בת זוג אהובים.
דף הנחיות למנחה:
אש תשוקה ומין.doc
דף מספר 2 בסדרה אהבה, תשוקה ומה שביניהם, דפים נוספים בסדרה:
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