(א) משֶׁה קִבֵּל תּוֹרָה מִסִּינַי, וּמְסָרָהּ לִיהוֹשֻׁעַ, וִיהוֹשֻׁעַ לִזְקֵנִים, וּזְקֵנִים לִנְבִיאִים, וּנְבִיאִים מְסָרוּהָ לְאַנְשֵׁי כְנֶסֶת הַגְּדוֹלָה. הֵם אָמְרוּ שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים, הֱווּ מְתוּנִים בַּדִּין, וְהַעֲמִידוּ תַלְמִידִים הַרְבֵּה, וַעֲשׂוּ סְיָג לַתּוֹרָה:
(ב) שִׁמְעוֹן הַצַּדִּיק הָיָה מִשְּׁיָרֵי כְנֶסֶת הַגְּדוֹלָה. הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, עַל שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים הָעוֹלָם עוֹמֵד, עַל הַתּוֹרָה וְעַל הָעֲבוֹדָה וְעַל גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים:
(ג) אַנְטִיגְנוֹס אִישׁ סוֹכוֹ קִבֵּל מִשִּׁמְעוֹן הַצַּדִּיק. הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, אַל תִּהְיוּ כַעֲבָדִים הַמְשַׁמְּשִׁין אֶת הָרַב עַל מְנָת לְקַבֵּל פְּרָס, אֶלָּא הֱווּ כַעֲבָדִים הַמְשַׁמְּשִׁין אֶת הָרַב שֶׁלֹּא עַל מְנָת לְקַבֵּל פְּרָס, וִיהִי מוֹרָא שָׁמַיִם עֲלֵיכֶם:
(ד) יוֹסֵי בֶן יוֹעֶזֶר אִישׁ צְרֵדָה וְיוֹסֵי בֶן יוֹחָנָן אִישׁ יְרוּשָׁלַיִם קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יוֹסֵי בֶן יוֹעֶזֶר אִישׁ צְרֵדָה אוֹמֵר, יְהִי בֵיתְךָ בֵית וַעַד לַחֲכָמִים, וֶהֱוֵי מִתְאַבֵּק בַּעֲפַר רַגְלֵיהֶם, וֶהֱוֵי שׁוֹתֶה בְצָמָא אֶת דִּבְרֵיהֶם:
(ה) יוֹסֵי בֶן יוֹחָנָן אִישׁ יְרוּשָׁלַיִם אוֹמֵר, יְהִי בֵיתְךָ פָתוּחַ לִרְוָחָה, וְיִהְיוּ עֲנִיִּים בְּנֵי בֵיתֶךָ, וְאַל תַּרְבֶּה שִׂיחָה עִם הָאִשָּׁה. בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ אָמְרוּ, קַל וָחֹמֶר בְּאֵשֶׁת חֲבֵרוֹ. מִכָּאן אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים, כָּל זְמַן שֶׁאָדָם מַרְבֶּה שִׂיחָה עִם הָאִשָּׁה, גּוֹרֵם רָעָה לְעַצְמוֹ, וּבוֹטֵל מִדִּבְרֵי תוֹרָה, וְסוֹפוֹ יוֹרֵשׁ גֵּיהִנֹּם:
(ו) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה וְנִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:
(ז) נִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי אוֹמֵר, הַרְחֵק מִשָּׁכֵן רָע, וְאַל תִּתְחַבֵּר לָרָשָׁע, וְאַל תִּתְיָאֵשׁ מִן הַפֻּרְעָנוּת:
(ח) יְהוּדָה בֶן טַבַּאי וְשִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן שָׁטָח קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוּדָה בֶן טַבַּאי אוֹמֵר, אַל תַּעַשׂ עַצְמְךָ כְעוֹרְכֵי הַדַּיָּנִין. וּכְשֶׁיִּהְיוּ בַעֲלֵי דִינִין עוֹמְדִים לְפָנֶיךָ, יִהְיוּ בְעֵינֶיךָ כִרְשָׁעִים. וּכְשֶׁנִּפְטָרִים מִלְּפָנֶיךָ, יִהְיוּ בְעֵינֶיךָ כְזַכָּאִין, כְּשֶׁקִּבְּלוּ עֲלֵיהֶם אֶת הַדִּין:
(ט) שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן שָׁטָח אוֹמֵר, הֱוֵי מַרְבֶּה לַחְקֹר אֶת הָעֵדִים, וֶהֱוֵי זָהִיר בִּדְבָרֶיךָ, שֶׁמָּא מִתּוֹכָם יִלְמְדוּ לְשַׁקֵּר:
(י) שְׁמַעְיָה וְאַבְטַלְיוֹן קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. שְׁמַעְיָה אוֹמֵר, אֱהֹב אֶת הַמְּלָאכָה, וּשְׂנָא אֶת הָרַבָּנוּת, וְאַל תִּתְוַדַּע לָרָשׁוּת:
(יא) אַבְטַלְיוֹן אוֹמֵר, חֲכָמִים, הִזָּהֲרוּ בְדִבְרֵיכֶם, שֶׁמָּא תָחוּבוּ חוֹבַת גָּלוּת וְתִגְלוּ לִמְקוֹם מַיִם הָרָעִים, וְיִשְׁתּוּ הַתַּלְמִידִים הַבָּאִים אַחֲרֵיכֶם וְיָמוּתוּ, וְנִמְצָא שֵׁם שָׁמַיִם מִתְחַלֵּל:
(יב) הִלֵּל וְשַׁמַּאי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. הִלֵּל אוֹמֵר, הֱוֵי מִתַּלְמִידָיו שֶׁל אַהֲרֹן, אוֹהֵב שָׁלוֹם וְרוֹדֵף שָׁלוֹם, אוֹהֵב אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת וּמְקָרְבָן לַתּוֹרָה:
(יג) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, נָגֵד שְׁמָא, אָבֵד שְׁמֵהּ. וּדְלֹא מוֹסִיף, יָסֵף. וּדְלֹא יָלֵיף, קְטָלָא חַיָּב. וּדְאִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בְּתָגָא, חָלֵף:
(יד) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי. וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי. וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתָי:
(טו) שַׁמַּאי אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה תוֹרָתְךָ קֶבַע. אֱמֹר מְעַט וַעֲשֵׂה הַרְבֵּה, וֶהֱוֵי מְקַבֵּל אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם בְּסֵבֶר פָּנִים יָפוֹת:
(טז) רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל הָיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וְהִסְתַּלֵּק מִן הַסָּפֵק, וְאַל תַּרְבֶּה לְעַשֵּׂר אֹמָדוֹת:
(יז) שִׁמְעוֹן בְּנוֹ אוֹמֵר, כָּל יָמַי גָּדַלְתִּי בֵין הַחֲכָמִים, וְלֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב אֶלָּא שְׁתִיקָה. וְלֹא הַמִּדְרָשׁ הוּא הָעִקָּר, אֶלָּא הַמַּעֲשֶׂה. וְכָל הַמַּרְבֶּה דְבָרִים, מֵבִיא חֵטְא:
(יח) רַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר, עַל שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים הָעוֹלָם עוֹמֵד, עַל הַדִּין וְעַל הָאֱמֶת וְעַל הַשָּׁלוֹם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (זכריה ח) אֱמֶת וּמִשְׁפַּט שָׁלוֹם שִׁפְטוּ בְּשַׁעֲרֵיכֶם:
(1) Moses received Torah from Sinai and transmitted it to Joshua, Joshua to the elders, and the elders to the prophets, and the prophets to the Men of the Great Assembly. They said three things: Be patient in [the administration of] justice, raise many disciples and make a fence round the Torah.
(2) Shimon the Righteous was one of the last of the men of the great assembly. He used to say: the world stands upon three things: the Torah, the Temple service, and the practice of acts of piety.
(3) Antigonus a man of Socho received [the oral tradition] from Shimon the Righteous. He used to say: do not be like servants who serve the master in the expectation of receiving a reward, but be like servants who serve the master without the expectation of receiving a reward, and let the fear of Heaven be upon you.
(4) Yose ben Yoezer (a man) of Zeredah and Yose ben Yohanan [a man] of Jerusalem received [the oral tradition] from them [i.e. Shimon the Righteous and Antigonus]. Yose ben Yoezer used to say: let thy house be a house of meeting for the Sages and sit in the very dust of their feet, and drink in their words with thirst.
(5) Yose ben Yochanan (a of Jerusalem used to say:Let thy house be wide open, and let the poor be members of thy household. Engage not in too much conversation with women. They said this with regard to one’s own wife, how much more [does the rule apply] with regard to another man’s wife. From here the Sages said: as long as a man engages in too much conversation with women, he causes evil to himself, he neglects the study of the Torah, and in the end he will inherit gehinnom.
(6) Joshua ben Perahiah and Nittai the Arbelite received [the oral tradition] from them. Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: appoint for thyself a teacher, and acquire for thyself a companion and judge all men with the scale weighted in his favor.
(7) Nittai the Arbelite used to say: keep a distance from an evil neighbor, do not become attached to the wicked, and do not abandon faith in [divine] retribution.
(8) Judah ben Tabbai and Shimon ben Shetach received [the oral tradition] from them. Judah ben Tabbai said: do not [as a judge] play the part of an advocate; and when the litigants are standing before you, look upon them as if they were [both] guilty; and when they leave your presence, look upon them as if they were [both] innocent, when they have accepted the judgement.
(9) Shimon ben Shetach used to say: be thorough in the interrogation of witnesses, and be careful with your words, lest from them they learn to lie.
(10) Shemaiah and Abtalion received [the oral tradition] from them. Shemaiah used to say: love work, hate acting the superior, and do not attempt to draw near to the ruling authority.
(11) Abtalion used to say: Sages be careful with your words, lest you incur the penalty of exile, and be carried off to a place of evil waters, and the disciples who follow you drink and die, and thus the name of heaven becomes profaned.
(12) Hillel and Shammai received [the oral tradition] from them. Hillel used to say: be of the disciples of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving mankind and drawing them close to the Torah.
(13) He [also] used to say: one who makes his name great causes his name to be destroyed; one who does not add [to his knowledge] causes [it] to cease; one who does not study [the Torah] deserves death; on who makes [unworthy] use of the crown [of learning] shall away.
(14) He [also] used to say: If I am not for myself, who is for me? But if I am for my own self [only], what am I? And if not now, when?
(15) Shammai used to say: make your [study of the] Torah a fixed practice; speak little, but do much; and receive all men with a pleasant countenance.
(16) Rabban Gamaliel used to say: appoint for thyself a teacher, avoid doubt, and do not make a habit of tithing by guesswork.
(17) Shimon, his son, used to say: all my days I grew up among the sages, and I have found nothing better for a person than silence. Study is not the most important thing, but actions; whoever indulges in too many words brings about sin.
(18) Rabban Shimon ben Gamaliel used to say: on three things does the world stand: On justice, on truth and on peace, as it is said: “execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates” (Zechariah 8:16).
~ This is the opening chapter of the work Pirkei Avot.
~ What are the words that jump out to you from this? Anything surprised you?
~ Some see this as the introduction to the entire Rabbinic enterprise. If that is the case, what are the main ideas behind this text?
~ What does love mean to you?
Lionel Bart ~ “Where is Love?” from the musical, Oliver!
Where is love?
Does it fall from skies above?
Is it underneath the willow tree
That I’ve been dreaming of?
Where is she?
Who I close my eyes to see?
Will I ever know the sweet “hello”
That’s meant for only me?
Who can say where she may hide?
Must I travel far and wide?
‘Til I am beside the someone who I can mean something to ...
Where...?
Where is love?
~ How is love understood in this piece? What kind of love is Oliver looking for? What is Oliver's basic expectation about love in the story?
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. [Oscar Wilde]
~ How is love understood in this piece?
~ What does “a lifelong romance” mean?
~ What is the purpose of self-love? How is it different than loving someone else?
~ How does this differ from the Oliver! quote (Text #1)?
~ Is self-love important? Why or why not?
(4) Hear, O Israel! Ad-nai is our God, Ad-nai alone. (5) You shall love Ad-nai your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
~ What are we told to love God with? Why do you think this is and why is that important?
~ What do you think it means to love God?
~ What does it mean to love an infinite, omniscient, intangible being?
~ What do you think about the idea of commanding an emotion?
" There is no essential difference between the love of God and the love of man. But since the love of God is not described in numberless publications sold at corner kiosks, with illustrations and cartoons, the matter seems to be much more difficult.
True, there is an intrinsic difficulty. Love of God depends on one’s ability to be aware of Him, not in the sense of one’s knowledge of what is written in this book or another, but in terms of personal consciousness. One can love God to the degree that one is able to be conscious of Him or to feel Him.
All that is necessary is to understand and to sincerely inquire into one’s knowledge of that which is worthy of love, and the natural impulse, the love of God, is awakened." [Rabbi Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz, Pebbles of Wisdom]
~ Does Rabbi Steinsaltz support well his assertion that loving God and loving people is the same? Why or why not?
~ What is necessary, according to Rabbi Steinsaltz, to love God?
~ Is loving God a personal choice, according to Rabbi Steinsaltz?
~ Let's go back to the general idea of love. Is love a personal choice?
~ Can we love someone without loving ourselves? Can we love God without loving ourselves?
~ According to this source, what does it mean to love God with all of your heart?
~ What do you think it means to, “Love God with your evil inclination?” How is that possible? Why is it important?
In Rabbinic tradition, every letter of the Biblical text is sacred and intentional. The text could have said לבך libeḥa—your heart, and it would have had the same meaning. As a result, the word לבבך l’vaveḥa has an extra letter (vet) that is unnecessary. Therefore, the Rabbis here understand that the extra letter is trying to teach us something: that a person really has two hearts.
עברית
Maimonides, Commentary on Mishna Berakhot 9:5
With the good inclination and with your evil inclination—it means to say, that you shall place in your heart love of God and faith in Him, even in a time of bitterness, and anger—because all of this is the evil inclination, as it says, “And in all your ways you should know Him” (Proverbs 3:6) even when you are involved in sin.
~ How does Maimonides understand what it means to love God?
~ What is significant about the ability to love God “with your evil inclination,” even at times that you are sinning? What does this teach about love?
~ Why is Maimonides bringing Prov. 3:6? How does this connect with Deut. 6:5?
~ What does it mean to love God in this passage?
~ What are questions regarding the behavior of people brought up by this source?
~ Is love a behavior or an emotion?
(א) אַהֲבַת עולָם בֵּית יִשרָאֵל עַמְּךָ אָהָבְתָּ. תּורָה וּמִצְות חֻקִּים וּמִשְׁפָּטִים אותָנוּ לִמַּדְתָּ. עַל כֵּן ה' אֱלקֵינוּ בְּשָׁכְבֵנוּ וּבְקוּמֵנוּ נָשיחַ בְּחֻקֶּיךָ. וְנִשמַח בְּדִבְרֵי תורָתֶךָ וּבְמִצְותֶיךָ לְעולָם וָעֶד: כִּי הֵם חַיֵּינוּ וְארֶךְ יָמֵינוּ וּבָהֶם נֶהְגֶּה יומָם וָלָיְלָה: וְאַהֲבָתְךָ אַל תָּסִיר מִמֶּנּוּ לְעולָמִים. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה'. אוהֵב עַמּו יִשרָאֵל:
(א) אַהֲבָה רַבָּה אֲהַבְתָּנוּ, ה' אֱלקֵינוּ. חֶמְלָה גְּדולָה וִיתֵרָה חָמַלְתָּ עָלֵינוּ: אָבִינוּ מַלְכֵּנוּ. בַּעֲבוּר אֲבותֵינוּ שֶׁבָּטְחוּ בְךָ. וַתְּלַמְּדֵם חֻקֵּי חַיִּים כֵּן תְּחָנֵּנוּ וּתְלַמְּדֵנוּ: אָבִינוּ הָאָב הָרַחֲמָן. הַמְרַחֵם. רַחֵם עָלֵינוּ. וְתֵן בְּלִבֵּנוּ לְהָבִין וּלְהַשכִּיל. לִשְׁמעַ. לִלְמד וּלְלַמֵּד. לִשְׁמר וְלַעֲשות וּלְקַיֵּם אֶת כָּל דִּבְרֵי תַלְמוּד תּורָתֶךָ בְּאַהֲבָה: וְהָאֵר עֵינֵינוּ בְּתורָתֶךָ. וְדַבֵּק לִבֵּנוּ בְּמִצְותֶיךָ. וְיַחֵד לְבָבֵנוּ לְאַהֲבָה וּלְיִרְאָה אֶת שְׁמֶךָ. וְלא נֵבושׁ לְעולָם וָעֶד: כִּי בְשֵׁם קָדְשְׁךָ הַגָּדול וְהַנּורָא בָּטָחְנוּ. נָגִילָה וְנִשמְחָה בִּישׁוּעָתֶךָ: וַהֲבִיאֵנוּ לְשָׁלום מֵאַרְבַּע כַּנְפות הָאָרֶץ. וְתולִיכֵנוּ קומְמִיּוּת לְאַרְצֵנוּ: כִּי אֵל פּועֵל יְשׁוּעות אָתָּה. וּבָנוּ בָחַרְתָּ מִכָּל עַם וְלָשׁון. וְקֵרַבְתָּנוּ לְשִׁמְךָ הַגָּדול סֶלָה בֶּאֱמֶת: לְהודות לְךָ וּלְיַחֶדְךָ בְּאַהֲבָה: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה', הַבּוחֵר בְּעַמּו יִשרָאֵל בְּאַהֲבָה:
(1) [With] a great love have You loved us, Lord, our God; [with] a great and superabundant compassion have You had compassion upon us. Our Father, our King - for the sake of our fathers who trusted in You and You taught them the laws of life; so [too] grace us and teach us. Our Father, the merciful Father, the merciful One - have mercy upon us, and put into our hearts to understand and to comprehend and to listen and to study and to teach and to keep and to do and to preserve all of the words of the study of Your Torah with love. And enlighten our eyes in Your Torah, and make our heart cling to Your commandments, and unite our hearts to love and fear Your name; and may we never be embarrassed ever. Since we have trusted in Your great and awesome holy Name, let us rejoice and be gladdened by Your salvation. And bring us in peace from the four corners of the Earth, and lead us erectly to our Land; as You are God who preforms salvations. And You have chosen us from among all nations and languages, and have brought us close to Your great name forever in truth, to praise You and unify You with love. Blessed are You, Lord, who chooses His people, Israel, with love.
~ How does these blessings, that come just before the Shema, show God's love for us?
~ What are the expressions of God's love? How do those ideas interact with the ideas in Deut. 6?
(ו) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה וְנִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:
(ז) נִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי אוֹמֵר, הַרְחֵק מִשָּׁכֵן רָע, וְאַל תִּתְחַבֵּר לָרָשָׁע, וְאַל תִּתְיָאֵשׁ מִן הַפֻּרְעָנוּת:
(6) Joshua ben Perahiah and Nittai the Arbelite received [the oral tradition] from them. Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: appoint for thyself a teacher, and acquire for thyself a companion and judge all men with the scale weighted in his favor.
(7) Nittai the Arbelite used to say: keep a distance from an evil neighbor, do not become attached to the wicked, and do not abandon faith in [divine] retribution.
~ How do Nitai haArbeli and Yehoshua ben Perachia complement each other?
~ What is friendship? What is a teacher? How do we acquire those relationships?
~ As you aged, did you change your concept of a good friend?
~ Have you had a fallout with a good friend? Why?
What...is the essence of friendship? It is the voluntary sharing with another of things that are important for me, whether it is sharing my possessions or my persona, my time or my secrets. In fact, this sharing does not always mean giving, but rather it is the will to allow somebody else to participate in something that is dear to me.
[Rabbi Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz: Simple Words]
~ What is Rabbi Steinsaltz's concept of friendship? Do you agree?
~ Compare the two stories below. What concept of friendship do they propose?
(ז) וַתֵּצֵ֗א מִן־הַמָּקוֹם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר הָיְתָה־שָׁ֔מָּה וּשְׁתֵּ֥י כַלֹּתֶ֖יהָ עִמָּ֑הּ וַתֵּלַ֣כְנָה בַדֶּ֔רֶךְ לָשׁ֖וּב אֶל־אֶ֥רֶץ יְהוּדָֽה׃ (ח) וַתֹּ֤אמֶר נָעֳמִי֙ לִשְׁתֵּ֣י כַלֹּתֶ֔יהָ לֵ֣כְנָה שֹּׁ֔בְנָה אִשָּׁ֖ה לְבֵ֣ית אִמָּ֑הּ יעשה [יַ֣עַשׂ] ה' עִמָּכֶם֙ חֶ֔סֶד כַּאֲשֶׁ֧ר עֲשִׂיתֶ֛ם עִם־הַמֵּתִ֖ים וְעִמָּדִֽי׃ (ט) יִתֵּ֤ן ה' לָכֶ֔ם וּמְצֶ֣אןָ מְנוּחָ֔ה אִשָּׁ֖ה בֵּ֣ית אִישָׁ֑הּ וַתִּשַּׁ֣ק לָהֶ֔ן וַתִּשֶּׂ֥אנָה קוֹלָ֖ן וַתִּבְכֶּֽינָה׃ (י) וַתֹּאמַ֖רְנָה־לָּ֑הּ כִּי־אִתָּ֥ךְ נָשׁ֖וּב לְעַמֵּֽךְ׃ (יא) וַתֹּ֤אמֶר נָעֳמִי֙ שֹׁ֣בְנָה בְנֹתַ֔י לָ֥מָּה תֵלַ֖כְנָה עִמִּ֑י הַֽעֽוֹד־לִ֤י בָנִים֙ בְּֽמֵעַ֔י וְהָי֥וּ לָכֶ֖ם לַאֲנָשִֽׁים׃ (יב) שֹׁ֤בְנָה בְנֹתַי֙ לֵ֔כְןָ כִּ֥י זָקַ֖נְתִּי מִהְי֣וֹת לְאִ֑ישׁ כִּ֤י אָמַ֙רְתִּי֙ יֶשׁ־לִ֣י תִקְוָ֔ה גַּ֣ם הָיִ֤יתִי הַלַּ֙יְלָה֙ לְאִ֔ישׁ וְגַ֖ם יָלַ֥דְתִּי בָנִֽים׃ (יג) הֲלָהֵ֣ן ׀ תְּשַׂבֵּ֗רְנָה עַ֚ד אֲשֶׁ֣ר יִגְדָּ֔לוּ הֲלָהֵן֙ תֵּֽעָגֵ֔נָה לְבִלְתִּ֖י הֱי֣וֹת לְאִ֑ישׁ אַ֣ל בְּנֹתַ֗י כִּֽי־מַר־לִ֤י מְאֹד֙ מִכֶּ֔ם כִּֽי־יָצְאָ֥ה בִ֖י יַד־ה'׃ (יד) וַתִּשֶּׂ֣נָה קוֹלָ֔ן וַתִּבְכֶּ֖ינָה ע֑וֹד וַתִּשַּׁ֤ק עָרְפָּה֙ לַחֲמוֹתָ֔הּ וְר֖וּת דָּ֥בְקָה בָּֽהּ׃ (טו) וַתֹּ֗אמֶר הִנֵּה֙ שָׁ֣בָה יְבִמְתֵּ֔ךְ אֶל־עַמָּ֖הּ וְאֶל־אֱלֹקֶ֑יהָ שׁ֖וּבִי אַחֲרֵ֥י יְבִמְתֵּֽךְ׃ (טז) וַתֹּ֤אמֶר רוּת֙ אַל־תִּפְגְּעִי־בִ֔י לְעָזְבֵ֖ךְ לָשׁ֣וּב מֵאַחֲרָ֑יִךְ כִּ֠י אֶל־אֲשֶׁ֨ר תֵּלְכִ֜י אֵלֵ֗ךְ וּבַאֲשֶׁ֤ר תָּלִ֙ינִי֙ אָלִ֔ין עַמֵּ֣ךְ עַמִּ֔י וֵאלֹקַ֖יִךְ אֱלֹקָֽי׃ (יז) בַּאֲשֶׁ֤ר תָּמ֙וּתִי֙ אָמ֔וּת וְשָׁ֖ם אֶקָּבֵ֑ר כֹּה֩ יַעֲשֶׂ֨ה ה' לִי֙ וְכֹ֣ה יֹסִ֔יף כִּ֣י הַמָּ֔וֶת יַפְרִ֖יד בֵּינִ֥י וּבֵינֵֽךְ׃ (יח) וַתֵּ֕רֶא כִּֽי־מִתְאַמֶּ֥צֶת הִ֖יא לָלֶ֣כֶת אִתָּ֑הּ וַתֶּחְדַּ֖ל לְדַבֵּ֥ר אֵלֶֽיהָ׃
(לט) וְהַנַּ֖עַר לֹֽא־יָדַ֣ע מְא֑וּמָה אַ֤ךְ יְהֽוֹנָתָן֙ וְדָוִ֔ד יָדְע֖וּ אֶת־הַדָּבָֽר׃ (מ) וַיִּתֵּ֤ן יְהֽוֹנָתָן֙ אֶת־כֵּלָ֔יו אֶל־הַנַּ֖עַר אֲשֶׁר־ל֑וֹ וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ל֔וֹ לֵ֖ךְ הָבֵ֥יא הָעִֽיר׃ (מא) הַנַּעַר֮ בָּא֒ וְדָוִ֗ד קָ֚ם מֵאֵ֣צֶל הַנֶּ֔גֶב וַיִּפֹּ֨ל לְאַפָּ֥יו אַ֛רְצָה וַיִּשְׁתַּ֖חוּ שָׁלֹ֣שׁ פְּעָמִ֑ים וַֽיִּשְּׁק֣וּ ׀ אִ֣ישׁ אֶת־רֵעֵ֗הוּ וַיִּבְכּוּ֙ אִ֣ישׁ אֶת־רֵעֵ֔הוּ עַד־דָּוִ֖ד הִגְדִּֽיל׃ (מב) וַיֹּ֧אמֶר יְהוֹנָתָ֛ן לְדָוִ֖ד לֵ֣ךְ לְשָׁל֑וֹם אֲשֶׁר֩ נִשְׁבַּ֨עְנוּ שְׁנֵ֜ינוּ אֲנַ֗חְנוּ בְּשֵׁ֤ם ה' לֵאמֹ֔ר ה' יִֽהְיֶ֣ה ׀ בֵּינִ֣י וּבֵינֶ֗ךָ וּבֵ֥ין זַרְעִ֛י וּבֵ֥ין זַרְעֲךָ֖ עַד־עוֹלָֽם׃ (פ)
Below is one of the stories of Honi Hameagel. What is it's main message? What is friendship in this story?
אמר ר' יוחנן כל ימיו של אותו צדיק היה מצטער על מקרא זה (תהלים קכו, א) שיר המעלות בשוב ה' את שיבת ציון היינו כחולמים אמר מי איכא דניים שבעין שנין בחלמא יומא חד הוה אזל באורחא חזייה לההוא גברא דהוה נטע חרובא אמר ליה האי עד כמה שנין טעין אמר ליה עד שבעין שנין אמר ליה פשיטא לך דחיית שבעין שנין אמר ליה האי [גברא] עלמא בחרובא אשכחתיה כי היכי דשתלי לי אבהתי שתלי נמי לבראי יתיב קא כריך ריפתא אתא ליה שינתא נים אהדרא ליה משוניתא איכסי מעינא ונים שבעין שנין כי קם חזייה לההוא גברא דהוה קא מלקט מינייהו אמר ליה את הוא דשתלתיה א"ל בר בריה אנא אמר ליה שמע מינה דניימי שבעין שנין חזא לחמריה דאתיילידא ליה רמכי רמכי אזל לביתיה אמר להו בריה דחוני המעגל מי קיים אמרו ליה בריה ליתא בר בריה איתא אמר להו אנא חוני המעגל לא הימנוהו אזל לבית המדרש שמעינהו לרבנן דקאמרי נהירן שמעתתין כבשני חוני המעגל דכי הוי עייל לבית מדרשא כל קושיא דהוו להו לרבנן הוה מפרק להו אמר להו אנא ניהו לא הימנוהו ולא עבדי ליה יקרא כדמבעי ליה חלש דעתיה בעי רחמי ומית אמר רבא היינו דאמרי אינשי או חברותא או מיתותא
§ The Gemara relates another story about Ḥoni HaMe’aggel. Rabbi Yoḥanan said: All the days of the life of that righteous man, Ḥoni, he was distressed over the meaning of this verse: “A song of Ascents: When the Lord brought back those who returned to Zion, we were like those who dream” (Psalms 126:1). He said to himself: Is there really a person who can sleep and dream for seventy years? How is it possible to compare the seventy-year exile in Babylonia to a dream? One day, he was walking along the road when he saw a certain man planting a carob tree. Ḥoni said to him: This tree, after how many years will it bear fruit? The man said to him: It will not produce fruit until seventy years have passed. Ḥoni said to him: Is it obvious to you that you will live seventy years, that you expect to benefit from this tree? He said to him: That man himself found a world full of carob trees. Just as my ancestors planted for me, I too am planting for my descendants. Ḥoni sat and ate bread. Sleep overcame him and he slept. A cliff formed around him, and he disappeared from sight and slept for seventy years. When he awoke, he saw a certain man gathering carobs from that tree. Ḥoni said to him: Are you the one who planted this tree? The man said to him: I am his son’s son. Ḥoni said to him: I can learn from this that I have slept for seventy years, and indeed he saw that his donkey had sired several herds during those many years. Ḥoni went home and said to the members of the household: Is the son of Ḥoni HaMe’aggel alive? They said to him: His son is no longer with us, but his son’s son is alive. He said to them: I am Ḥoni HaMe’aggel. They did not believe him. He went to the study hall, where he heard the Sages say about one scholar: His halakhot are as enlightening and as clear as in the years of Ḥoni HaMe’aggel, for when Ḥoni HaMe’aggel would enter the study hall he would resolve for the Sages any difficulty they had. Ḥoni said to them: I am he, but they did not believe him and did not pay him proper respect. Ḥoni became very upset, prayed for mercy, and died. Rava said: This explains the folk saying that people say: Either friendship or death, as one who has no friends is better off dead.
How does the quote from Ecclesiastes express what friendship is? Why are friends needed?
Compare the three writings below. What are their positions on friendship? What are friends for? How is one friends with someone else?
Marcus Tullius Cicero: De Amicitia (On Friendship)
Now the support and stay of that unswerving constancy which we look for in friendship, is loyalty; for nothing is constant that is disloyal. Moreover, the right course is to choose for a friend one who is frank, sociable, and sympathetic—that is, one who is likely to be influenced by the same motives as yourself—since all these qualities conduce to loyalty; for it is impossible for a man to be loyal whose nature is full of twists and twinings; and, indeed, one who is untouched by the same influences as yourself and is naturally unsympathetic cannot be either loyal or steadfast. To this observation should be added a requirement tending to produce that steadfastness, which I have been discussing for some time: a friend must neither take pleasure in bringing charges against you nor believe them when made by others. And so, the truth of what I said in the beginning is established: “Friendship cannot exist except among good men.”
Loeb Classical Library (London: Harvard University Press: 1953) pp.175–177
Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 BCE– 43 BCE) was a Roman philosopher and statesman whose works have had an enduring influence on Western civilization. His political career was influential, but he picked the wrong side of history and was considered an enemy of The State when political power shifted to Mark Anthony. He was murdered. He wrote widely on many important subjects, including friendship.
עשה לך רב - ואפילו לא היה ראוי להיות לך לרב, כדי שתישא ותיתן עימו ויתקיים לימודך בידך, לפי שאינו דומה לימוד האדם מעצמו כלימודו מזולתו, כי לימודו מזולתו מתקיים בידו ומתברר יותר, ואפילו היה כמוהו בכחמה או פחות ממנו, וכך ביארו בפירוש צוואה זו.
ואמרו: קנה לך חבר - אמרו בלשון קנייה, ולא אמר "עשה לך חבר", או "התחבר לחברים" וכיוצא בזה. הכוונה שראוי לאדם לקחת לעצמו חבר על כל פנים, כדי שיוטבו בכך כל ענייניו, כמו שאמרו: או חברותא או מיתותא. ואם לא ימצאהו צריך להשתדל בכך, ואפילו ירכשהו לחבירות תחילה עד שיהא חבר, ולא יחדל מלנהוג לפי רוחו (=של חברו) עד שתתחזק חברותו, כמו שאומרים אנשי המוסר: "אם התחברת - אל תתחבר לפי דרכך, אלא התחבר לפי דרכו של חברך". וכאשר תהא כוונת כל אחד מן החברים על פי צוואה זו, הרי תהיה מטרת כל אחד מהם למלא רצון חבירו, ונמצא שמטרת כולם לדבר אחד בלי ספק. וכמה נאה מאמר אריסטו: "הידיד אחר, הוא אתה".
והחברים שלושה סוגים: חבר לתועלת, וחבר הנאה, וחבר לדבר נעלה. ה"חבר לתועלת" הוא כגון חבירות שני הושתפין וכחבירות המלך וצבאו. אבל "חבר הנאה" הוא שני סוגים: חבר תענוג, וחבר ביטחון. "חבר תענוג" - הוא כחבירות הזכרים לנקיבות בנישואין וכיוצא בזה, ו"חבר ביטחון" הוא שיהא לאדם חבר שדעתו סוכמת עליו, שאינו נשמר ממנו לא במעשה ולא בדיבור, ומגלה לו כל ענייניו הטוב מהם והרע, בלי שיחוש ממנו שיבואהו בכל ביזיון לא אצלו ולא אצל זולתו. הרי כאשר יהיה לנפש ביטחון באיזה אדם עד כדי כך, יהיה לה נחת רב מאוד בשיחתו וידידותו. ו"חבר לדבר נעלה" הוא שתהיה כמיהת שניהם ומטרתם לעניין החד והוא עשיית הטוב, וירצה כל אחד מהם להיעזר בחבירו כדי להשיג אותו הטוב לשניהם יחד. וזהו ה"חבר" שציווה בקנייתו, והוא כגון חבירות הרב לתלמיד והתלמיד לרב.
Maimonides, commentary on Pirkei Avot 1:16
“Make for yourself a teacher”: That is to say, even if he is not suited to be your teacher put him in the position of
being your teacher until it seems to you that he is indeed teaching. Thus you shall acquire wisdom, for learning
from another is of a different quality from learning on one’s own. Learning on one’s own is good but learning from another endures longer and is more clearly understood. This holds true if he is your equal or even your inferior in wisdom.
“Acquire for yourself a friend”: Note the language of acquisition. It does not say, “Make for yourself a friend”, or, “Become friendly with others”. The point is, a person must acquire someone who will love him, who will correct his deeds and all of his matters. As the saying goes, “Either friendship or death” (BT Ta’anit 23a). And if he does not find a friend, he must persevere with all his heart, even to the point of seducing the other person to love him until he wins his love. He should not cease from bowing to his will until his love is strong. As the teachers have said: When you love, do not love on your own terms but rather on the terms of your beloved.
And when both friends act according to this principle, each will seek to fulfill the will of the other and they will
share a single intention. How fitting are Aristotle’s words in this regard: “A friend is a second self.”
There are three types of friends: 1) a useful friend; 2) a pleasant friend; 3) a friend who ethically inspires and instructs.
Useful friends are like two partners; theirs is like the friendship between a king and his army.
There are two kinds of pleasant friends: the delightful friend and the trusted friend. The love of men for women
is characteristic of the relationship with the delightful friend. A trusted friend inspires full confidence so that
you feel it unnecessary to be reserved with him in action or in speech. Rather you will be able to reveal to him
all your concerns, the good and the ugly, without fear that you will be hurt either by him or anyone else. When
one achieves this level of confidence in another person he will discover deep pleasure in speaking with him and
loving him.
When both friends yearn for and are directed toward one goal, namely, the good, they are to each other ethically
inspiring friends. Each one will want to be helped by his friend in achieving that good for both of them together.
And this is the kind of friend that we are commanded to acquire. This kind of friendship is similar to the friendship that a teacher feels for a student and a student feels for a teacher.
Baruch Shalom HaLevi Ashlag (1908, Warsaw - 1991, Jerusalem), commentator to the Zohar
Concerning the importance of the friends in the society and how to appreciate them, meaning with which kind of importance everyone should regard his friend. Common sense dictates that if one regards one’s friend as being at a lower degree than one’s own, then he will want to teach him how to behave more virtuously than the qualities he has. Hence, he cannot be his friend; he can take the friend as a student, but not as a friend.
And if one sees one’s friend as being at a higher degree than his own, and sees that he can acquire good qualities from him, then he can be his Rav, but not his friend.
This means that precisely when one sees one’s friend as being at an equal degree to one’s own, one can accept the other as a friend and bond with him. This is so because a friend means that they are both in the same state. This is what common sense dictates. In other words, they have the same views and thus decide to bond. Then, both of them act towards the goal that they both wish to achieve.
It is like two like-minded friends who are doing some business together, so this business will bring them profits. In that state, they feel that they have equal powers. But should one of them feel that he is more competent than the other, he will not want to accept him as an equal partner. Instead, they would create a proportional partnership according to the strength and qualities that one has over the other. In that state, the partnership is a thirty-three or twenty-five percent partnership, and it cannot be said that they are equal in the business.
But with love of friends, when friends bond to create unity among themselves, it explicitly means that they are equals. This is called "unity." For example, if they do business together and say that the profits will not be distributed equally, is this called "unity"? Clearly, a business of love of friends should be when all the profits and possessions that the love of friends yields will be equally controlled by them. They should not hide or conceal from one another, but everything will be with love, friendship, truthfulness, and peace....
It follows that in the matter of love of friends, they help each other, meaning it is enough for everyone to regard his friend as being of the same degree as his own. But because everyone should learn from his friends, there is the issue of Rav and disciple. For this reason, he should consider the friend as greater than himself.
But how can one consider one’s friend as greater than himself, when he can see that his own merits are greater than his friend’s, that he is more talented and has better natural qualities? There are two ways to understand this:
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He is going with faith above reason: once he has chosen him as a friend, he appreciates him above reason.
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This is more natural—within reason. If he has decided to accept the other as a friend, and works on himself to love him, than it is natural with love to see only good things. And even though there are bad things in one’s friend, he cannot see them, as it is written, "love covers all transgressions."
We can see that a person may see faults in his neighbor’s children, but not in his own children. And when someone mentions some faults in his children, he immediately resists his friend and begins to declare his children’s merits.
And the question is, which is the truth? After all, there are merits to his children, and hence he is upset when others speak of his children. The thing is this, as I had heard it from my father: Indeed, each person has advantages and disadvantages. And both the neighbor and the father are saying the truth. But the neighbor does not treat the other’s children like a father to his children, since he does not have the same love for the children as the father does....
It turns out that if one has love of friends, the law in love is that you want to see the friends’ merits and not their faults. Hence, if one sees some fault in one’s friend, it is not a sign that his friend is at fault, but that the fault is in him, meaning that because he flawed the love of friends, he sees faults in his friend.
Therefore, now he should not see to his friend’s correction. Rather, he himself needs correction. It follows from all the above that he should not care for the correction of his friend’s faults, which he sees in his friend, but he himself needs to correct the flaw he has created in the love of friends. And when he corrects himself, he will see only his friend’s merits and not his faults.
The last two texts we will read about friendship come from the Zohar. What are the main ideas that are connected to friendship?
Ki Tissa [When You Take]
Rabbi Aba said: All those friends, who do not love each other, depart the world before their time. All the friends in Rabbi Shimon (Bar Yochai)'s time had love of soul and love of spirit among them. This is why in his generation, the secrets (of Torah) were revealed. Rabbi Shimon would say, “All the friends who do not love each other cause themselves to stray from the right path. Moreover, they put a blemish in the Torah, since there is love, brotherhood, and truth in the Torah. Abraham loved Isaac; Isaac loved Abraham; and they were embraced. And they were both gripping Jacob with love and brotherhood, and were giving their spirits in one another. The friends should be like them, and not blemish them for if love is lacking in them, they will blemish the connection above, that is, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, which are Hochmah Gevurah and Tiferet.
אָמַר רִבִּי יְהוּדָה, בְּכָל עוֹבָדוֹי, בָּעֵי בַּר נָשׁ לְשַׁוָּאָה לָקֳבְלֵיהּ לְקוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא, וְהָא אוֹקִימְנָא מִלָּה. רִבִּי יְהוּדָה לְטַעְמֵיהּ, דְּאָמַר רִבִּי יְהוּדָה, הַאי מַאן דְּאָזִיל בְּאָרְחָא, יְכַוֵּין לִתְלַת מִלִּין, וְעֵילָּא מִנְּהוֹן צְלוֹתָא, וְאַף עַל גַּב דִּצְלוֹתָא יַתִּיר עִלָּאָה מִכֹּלָּא, תְּרֵי חַבְרֵי אוֹ תְּלָתָא דְּלָעָאן בְּמִלֵי דְּאוֹרַיְיתָא. דְּהָא לָא מִסְתָּפֵי, בְּגִין דִּשְׁכִינְתָּא (ס''א ועילא מנהון צלותא, ועלאה מכלהו, חברייא במלי דאורייתא. דהא שכינתא) אִשְׁתַּתְּפָא בַּהֲדַיְיהוּ.
VaEtchanan [I Pleaded]
Said Rabbi Yehudah: In all of one’s actions, s/he should see the Holy One of Blessing before him/her, and the person will uphold something. Rabbi Yehudah is consistent, because he said that anyone who is walking along the road, (who fears robbers) should aim for three things—a gift, a prayer, and a war as did Jacob when he feared Esau. And even though the most important of them is the prayer, two or three friends engaging in words of Torah is the most important of all. For they are not attacked because Divinity is connected to them, for they are engaged in Torah.