הריני מקבל עלי
את מצות הברא
ואהבת לרעך כמוך
לרעך כמוך!
A Kavvanah Before Prayer
I hereby accept upon myself
the commandment of The Creator
To love my neighbor as myself!
תנא דבי אליהו רבה כ"ו, ו'
כך אמר להם הקב"ה לישראל. בניי. כלום חיסרתי מכם. מה אני מבקש מכם. הא איני מבקש אלא כדי שתהיו אוהבין זה את זה. ותהיו מכבדין זה את זה. ותהיו יראין זה מזה.
Tana d'Bei Eliyahu Rabbah 26:6
This is what the Holy One said to Israel: My children, what do I seek from you? I seek no more than that you have love for one another, and respect for one another; and that you have reverence for one another
Tzemach Tzedek
"You shall be perfect with Adonai your God." (Deut. 18:13)
Prayer is considered to be an offering before God - an offering of the soul. In the days of the Holy Temple, an animal offered for sacrifice had to be perfect and without defect; in the same way, when a Jew prays, he must also be whole of limb and without blemish. As all Jews are metaphorically part of the same body, if a person rejects their fellow Jew for whatever reason, it is their own self that becomes crippled. Therefore, it is customary to make the verbal declaration before praying: "I hereby accept upon myself the positive commandment of 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
There follows a general, all inclusive rule to be observed in relations towards one’s fellow, phrased as ואהבת לרעך כמוך, telling us to apply the same yardstick to our concern for our fellow that we would want applied to ourselves if we were in their shoes in similar situations.
LOVE HIM LIKE YOURSELF: The nations of the ancient world would only love their own people, and they would defraud other peoples because they saw them as despicable foreigners. Therefore, it says here, that you need to love him like yourself, and act toward him just as you would want. You should act towards him as you would want other people to act toward you if you were a foreigner. This is in accord with what is written several verses earlier (Leviticus 19:18): "Love your neighbor (re'ah) as yourself"
| Translation | Original |
|---|---|
| If one observes that another committed a sin or walks in a way that is not good, it is the person’s duty to bring the erring one back to the right path and point out that he/she is wronging him/herself by this evil course, as it is said, “You shall surely rebuke your neighbor” (Leviticus 19:17). One who rebukes another, whether for offenses against the one who rebukes him/herself or for sins against God, should administer the rebuke in private, speak to the offender gently and tenderly, and point out that the rebuke is offered for the wrongdoer’s own good, to secure for the other life in the World to Come. If the person accepts the rebuke, well and good. If not, the person should be rebuked a second, and a third time. And so one is bound to continue the admonitions, until the sinner assaults the admonisher and says, “I refuse to listen.” Whoever is in a position to prevent wrongdoing and does not do so is responsible for the iniquity of all the wrongdoers whom that person might have restrained. [Freeman translation] |
הרואה חבירו שחטא או שהלך בדרך לא טובה מצוה להחזירו למוטב ולהודיעו שהוא חוטא על עצמו במעשיו הרעים שנאמר הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך (ויקרא יט:יז), המוכיח את חבירו בין בדברים שבינו לבינו, בין בדברים שבינו לבין המקום, צריך להוכיחו בינו לבין עצמו, וידבר לו בנחת ובלשון רכה ויודיעו שאינו אומר לו אלא לטובתו להביאו לחיי העולם הבא, אם קיבל ממנו מוטב ואם לאו יוכיחנו פעם שניה ושלישית, וכן תמיד חייב אדם להוכיחו עד שיכהו החוטא ויאמר לו איני שומע, וכל שאפשר בידו למחות ואינו מוחה הוא נתפש בעון אלו כיון שאפשר לו למחות בהם.
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1. Who are the players in this text – seen and unseen?
2. In practice, it is very difficult to rebuke someone. What are some ways of rebuking so that the person is not shamed?
3. What might it look like if we took this advice to heart in our own lives? How do you think this would change our communities?
Erich Fromm, "The Art of Loving"
Fairness ethics lend themselves to confusion with the ethics of the Golden Rule. The maxim "to do unto others as you would like them to do unto you" can be interpreted as meaning "be fair in your exchange with others." But actually, it was formulated originally as a more popular version of the Biblical "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Indeed, the Jewish-Christian norm of brotherly love is entirely different from fairness ethics. It means to love your neighbor, that is, to feel responsible for and one with him, while fairness ethics means not to feel responsible, and one, but distant and separate; it means to respect the rights of your neighbor, but not to love him. It is no accident that the Golden Rule has become the most popular religious maxim today; because it can be interpreted in terms of fairness ethics it is the one religious maxim which everybody understands and is willing to practice. But the practice of love must begin with recognizing the difference between fairness and love.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks
Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age, and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him (velo yachlu dabro leshalom, literally, "they could not speak with him to peace").
On this, R. Jonathan Eybeschuetz (c. 1690-1764) comments: "Had they been able to sit together as a group, they would have spoken to one another and remonstrated with each other, and would eventually have made their peace with one another. The tragedy of conflict is that it prevents people from talking together and listening to one another." A failure to communicate is often the prelude to revenge.
The inner logic of the two verses in our Torah portion is therefore this: "Love your neighbor as yourself. But not all neighbors are loveable. There are those who, out of envy or malice, have done you harm. I do not therefore command you to live as if you were angels, without any of the emotions natural to human beings. I do however forbid you to hate. That is why, when someone does you wrong, you must confront the wrongdoer. You must tell him of your feelings of hurt and distress. It may be that you completely misunderstood his intentions. Or it may be that he genuinely meant to do you harm, but now, faced with the reality of the injury he has done you, he may sincerely repent of what he did. If, however, you fail to talk it through, there is a real possibility that you will bear a grudge and in the fullness of time, come to take revenge - as did Absolom."