כלה כמות שהיא - ואם יש בה מום ישתקו ולא ישבחוה אי נמי ישבחוה בדבר נאה שיש בה כגון בעיניה או בידיה אם הם יפות וב"ה אומרים ישבחוה לגמרי דכשמזכירין מה שיש בה לשבח מכלל דשאר לגנאי: כלה כמות שהיא — A bride as she actually is
OVERVIEW
The ברייתא cites a מחלוקת between ב״ש and ב״ה concerning how we praise the כלה. ב״ש maintain that we praise her realistically according to her status and beauty. ב״ה maintain that we lavish praise on all the כלות, regardless if they merit it or not. תוספות discusses what ב״ש and ב״ה maintain concerning a כלה that is not only lacking in status etc., but is also somewhat blemished or disfigured.
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ואם יש בה מום ישתקו ולא ישבחוה1
ב״ש is of the opinion that one may not veer from the truth, even if the consequences are somewhat disconcerting.
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And if she has a blemish, it is the opinion of ב״ש that they should be silent and not praise her at all.
תוספות offers another interpretation of sב״ש׳ view:
אי נמי ישבחוה בדבר נאה שיש בה כגון בעיניה או בידיה אם הם יפות –
Or you may also say that they should praise her with any pleasant feature that she possesses; for instance with her eyes or with her hands if they are pretty.
תוספות anticipates the following question. If ב״ש also agree that even by a כלה with a מום, she is still praised for any positive attributes she may have, why do ב״ה disagree, and have them praise the כלה lavishly; beyond what she deserves. תוספות answers:
ובית הלל אומרים ישבחוה לגמרי דכשמזכירין מה שיש בה לשבח מכלל דשאר לגנאי:
ב״ה maintains that they should praise her completely; without reservations or mentioning specific details for if we only mention the praiseworthy attributes, there is the inference is that the rest of her attributes are shameful.
SUMMARY
If a כלה has a blemish ב״ש maintain that you either not praise her at all, or find something (specific) about her that is praiseworthy. ב״ה maintain that in all instances we lavish (equal) praise to all כלות; in order that there be no negative inferences.
THINKING IT OVER
Why do ב״ה challenge ב״ש by asking if one bought a flawed item, should the item be praised or degraded; when ב״ש maintain that even if she has a מום she is not degraded, we are merely silent (or she is praised for specific positive attributes).2
See מהר״ם שי״ף.
ישבחנו בעיניו או יגננו בעיניו - וב"ש סברי אע"ג דישבחנו בעיניו אין להם לחכמים לתקן להזקיק לומר שקר דהתורה אמרה מדבר שקר תרחק: ישבחנו בעיניו או יגננו בעיניו — Should he praise it in his presence or should he denigrate it in his presence
OVERVIEW
ב״ש maintains that a כלה is not given undeserving praise. ב״ה challenges this assumption by asking rhetorically ‘if one made a bad purchase, should not another nevertheless praise his purchase and not denigrate it’! ב״ש did not respond to this challenge. תוספות will explain what is the opinion of ב״ש in that situation.
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ובית שמאי סברי דאף אף על גב דישבחנו בעיניו –
And ב״ש is of the opinion that even though it is proper that he should praise it in the eyes of the purchaser (as ב״ה asserted), nevertheless we cannot derive from the conduct of an individual, how to institute a general requirement for the populace at large; therefore –
אין להם לחכמים לתקן להזקיק לומר שקר דהתורה אמרה1
שמות (משפטים) כג,ז.
מדבר שקר תרחק:
It is not fitting for the חכמים to institute a requirement by a כלה (that she be undeservingly praised in all instances) which will have the effect to cause the wedding guests to say a falsehood (in a case of an undeserving כלה), for the תורה states ‘one should distance himself from a false statement’.2
It would seem that by an individual (when he is praising a purchase) it is understood that he is merely being polite. However, when the חכמים make a תקנה, it is of more serious nature. Even a semblance of a falsehood should be avoided. This is what is meant by the word ׳תרחק׳.
SUMMARY
ב״ש maintain that there is a difference between politeness and a תקנת חכמים. The חכמים should not institute a requirement that causes one to utter a falsehood.
THINKING IT OVER
How will ב״ה respond to the argument of ב״ש (as expressed in this תוספות)?3
See יעב״ץ.