משנה: הָאוֹמֵר לָאִשָּׁה הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת לִי עַל מְנָת שֶׁאֶתֶּן לָךְ מָאתַיִם זוּז הֲרֵי זוֹ מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת וְהוּא יִתֵּן. עַל מְנָת שֶׁאֶתֶּן לֵיךְ מִיכָּן וְעַד שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם נָתַן לָהּ בְּתוֹךְ שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת וְאִם לָאו אֵינָהּ מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת. עַל מְנָת שֶׁיֵּשׁ לִי מָאתַיִם זוּז הֲרֵי זוֹ מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת וְיֵשׁ לוֹ. עַל מְנָת שֶׁאֶרְאֵךְ מָאתַיִם זוּז הֲרֵי זוֹ מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת וְיַרְאֶנָּהּ. וְאִם הֶרְאָהּ עַל שּׁוּלְחָנוֹ אֵינָהּ מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת. MISHNAH: If somebody says to a woman: You are preliminarily married to me on condition that I give you 200 zuz64Accadic zūzum, the half-sheqel piece, identified with the Roman denarius., she is preliminarily married and he is obligated to give65It is understood that he also gave a peruṭah’s worth at the time he contracted the preliminary marriage. There is no time limit set for the liquidation of the claim. However, it seems that if she has to sue him in court for the 200 zuz, the preliminary marriage is invalidated.. On condition that I give you within the next 30 days; if he gave her within 30 days she is preliminarily married; otherwise she is not preliminarily married. On condition that I owe 200 zuz, she is preliminarily married if he has it. On condition that I show you 200 zuz, she is preliminarily married once he shows it to her66He assures her that she is marrying a person of means; nevertheless it is not sufficient that he prove to her that he has the means; in order to be married she must be shown the actual coins.; but if he showed it on his bank she is not preliminarily married67If he is a banker, handling his depositors’ money, he cannot show anything which is not his own capital invested in his business..
הלכה: הָאוֹמֵר לָאִשָּׁה. הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת כול׳. תַּמָּן תַּנִּינָן. הֲרֵי זֶה גִּיטֵּיךְ עַל מְנָת שֶׁתִּתְּנִי לִי מָאתַיִם זוּז. הֲרֵי זוֹ מְגוֹרֶשֶׁת וְתִתֵּן. לֹא הִסְפִּיקָה לִיתֵּן עַד שֶׁמֵּת. תַּנִּי. רַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר. נוֹתְנָן לְאָבִיו וּלְאָחִיו וְהִיא פְטוּרָה מִן הַחֲלִיצָה וּמִן הַיִּיבּוּם. אַף בְּקִידּוּשִׁין כֵּן. הָאוֹמֵר לָאִשָּׁה הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת לִי עַל מְנָת שֶׁאֶתֵּן לֵיךְ מָאתַיִם זוּז. כְּרַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אָבִיו וְאֶחָיו נוֹתְנִין לָהּ וְהִיא זְקוּקָה לַחֲלִיצָה וּלְיִיבּוּם. HALAKHAH: “If somebody says to a woman: You are preliminarily married to me,” etc. 68This is a reformulation of the first paragraph of Gittin 7:5:2" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Gittin.7.5.2">Giṭṭin, Halakhah 7:5, Notes 116–118. In the Kiddushin.60b">Babli, 60b, the rabbis who disagree with Rabban Simeon ben Gamliel hold that the conditional divorcee never is subject to ḥalîṣah or levirate marriage. There, we have stated: “This is your bill of divorce on condition that you give me 200 zuz, she is divorced and has to pay. If she did not manage to pay before he died, it was stated: Rabban Simeon ben Gamliel says, she pays his father or his brother and is free from ḥalîṣah and levirate marriage. The same holds for preliminary marriage: “You are preliminarily married to me on condition that I give you 200 zuz;” if he did not manage to pay before he died, Rabban Simeon ben Gamliel says, his father or his brothers pay and she is subject to ḥalîṣah or levirate marriage.
רִבִּי אַבָּהוּ בְשֵׁם רִבִּי יוֹחָנָן. סֶדֶר הַסִּימְפוֹן כָּךְ הוּא. אֲנָא פַּלָּן בַּר פַּלָּן מְקַדֵּשׁ לֵיךְ אַנְתְּ פַּלְנִיתָא בַּר פַּלָּן עַל מְנָת לִיתֵּן לִיךְ מִיקְּמַת פַּלָּן וּמִכְנְסִינִיךְ לְיוֹם פַּלָּן. וְאִין אָתָא יוֹם פַּלָּן וְלָא כְנַסְתִּיךְ לָא יֶהֱוֵי לִי כְּלוּם. אִירָע לוֹ אוֹנֶס. רִבִּי יוֹחָנָן אָמַר. אוֹנְסָא כְּמָאן דְּלָא עֲבַד. רִבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ אָמַר. אוֹנְסָא כְּמָאן דַּעֲבַד. עַל דַּעְתֵּיהּ דְּרִבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ הֵיךְ צָרִיךְ לְמֵיעֲבַד. דְּאִין אָתָא יוֹם פַּלָּן וְלָא הֲוֵיתִי כוֹנְסָהּ לִי לֹא יְהֵא עָלַיִיךְ כְּלוּם. רִבִּי יוֹחָנָן דָּמִיךְ פְּקִיד לִבְנָתֵיהּ דִּיהֲווֹן עֲבְדָּן כְּרִבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ. אָמַר. שֶׁמָּא יַעֲמוֹד בֵּית דִּין אַחֵר וְיִסְבּוֹר דִּכְװָתֵיהּ וְנִמְצְאוּ בָנָיו בָּאִין לִידֵי מַמְזֵירוּת. 69This text is also in Gittin 7:6:3" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Gittin.7.6.3">Giṭṭin 7:6, Notes 132–139; the contract text also in Eruvin 3 and later in Kiddushin 3:3:2-4" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Kiddushin.3.3.2-4">Halakhah 3. A. Gulak (Tarbiz 5, 1934, pp. 126–133) has discussed the text in detail.
The term σύμφωνον “agreement” appears in Egyptian papyri of the Byzantine period (after the middle of the fifth Century C. E.) and later in Justinian’s legislation to designate special stipulations within a written contract [R. Taubenschlag (Kiddushin 1:3:8" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Kiddushin.1.3.8">Chapter 1, Note 369) p. 224]. In earlier Greek sources one finds only the adjective σύμφωνος, α, ον “agreeing”. Since the authorities quoted in the Talmud belong to the third Century, the term must have been in use in the Hellenistic world long before it appeared in surviving papyri.
As a special stipulation, the symphōn contract has to be executed concurrent with the preliminary marriage; otherwise it could not undo the marriage without a divorce. This supplementary contract fulfills the same role as the Alexandrian Ketubah(Yevamot 15:3:3" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Yevamot.15.3.3">Yebamot 15:3, Note 34, and the sources quoted there.)
On the other hand, the delivery of property by the groom as pledge first is documented in Hammurabi’s laws; it appears in Roman contracts as arra (or arrha) sponsalicia (arra = ἀρραβών = עֵרָבוֹן) only in Byzantine times, clearly under the influence of Eastern usage. Rebbi Abbahu in the name of Rebbi Joḥanan: The following is the contract text: “I, X son of Y, contract a preliminary marriage with you, Z, daughter of U, on condition that I give you property A and definitively marry you by day B. If that day should pass without me having taken you in, I shall have no claim on you.” If anything intervened beyond his control? Rebbi Joḥanan said, matters beyond his control are as if he were inactive. Rebbi Simeon ben Laqish said, matters outside his control are as if he had acted. In the opinion of Rebbi Simeon ben Laqish, what would be necessary? “If that day should pass without you having taken me in, I shall have no claim on you.” When Rebbi Joḥanan was dying, he told his daughters to act following Rebbi Simeon ben Laqish. He said, sometime in the future there might be a court which follows him; then his descendants might be in danger of bastardy.
הִגִּיעַ הַזְּמָן. הוּא אוֹמֵר. נָתַתִּי. וְהִיא אוֹמֶרֶת. לֹא נָטַלְתִּי. אָמַר רִבִּי אָבוּן. מִכֵּיוָן שֶׁהוּא מְבַקֵּשׁ לְהוֹצִיא סִימְפוֹן מִיַּד הָאִשָּׁה עָלָיו לְהָבִיא רְאָייָה. הַגַּע עַצְמָךְ דְּלָא הֲוָה סִימְפוֹן. אָמַר רִבִּי יוֹסֵה. מִכֵּיוָן שֶׁהוּא מְבַקֵּשׁ לְאוֹסְרָהּ עָלָיו צָרִיךְ לְהָבִיא רְאָייָה שֶׁכָּֽנְסוּ עַצְמָן בְּתוֹךְ סִימְפוֹן. אָתָא עוֹבְדָא קוֹמֵי רִבִּי אַבָּהוּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ. זִיל הַב. אָמַר לֵיהּ. רִבִּי. אִשָּׁה לֹא קָנִיתִי וְאַתְּ אָמַר לִי. אֵיזִיל הַב. אָמַר רִבִּי אַבָּהוּ. מִיָּמַיי לֹא שָׂחַק בִּי אָדָם אֶלָּא זֶה. חָזַר וְאָמַר. אִין חָזַר בֵּיהּ יִתֵּן. אִין הִיא חַזְרַת בָּהּ תִּתֵּן. וְלֹא הָדָא הִיא קַדְמִייָתָא. חָזַר וַעֲשָׂאוֹ מַעֲשֵׂה בֵּית דִּין. 71The interpretation essentially follows Gulak, Kiddushin 3:2:3" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Kiddushin.3.2.3">Note 69. The paragraph is also discussed by Nachmanides, Nissim Gerondi (Ran), and Yom Tov ben Abraham Išbili (Ritba) in their Novellae to 60a. If the appointed time has arrived72And for some reason the engagement was dissolved. and he says, I gave, but she says, I did not receive73The valuable object promised in the additional contract.: Rebbi Abun said, since he tries to wrest the contract from the woman’s hand74The text of the contract specifies that the valuable object remain the woman’s property even if the marriage be cancelled., the burden of proof is on him. Think of it, maybe there was no contract75If there is no written document in the woman’s hand, the burden of proof is on her, not him.? Rebbi Yose said, since he tries to forbid her to anybody, he has to prove that they entered into the contract76If they were married, and therefore she is forbidden to any man in the world except her husband, he has to show that the conditions of the contract were adhered to.. A case came before Rebbi Abbahu77In which the symphōn stipulations were not satisfied and the marriage did not take place.; he said to him, go and deliver78The woman stated that she did not receive the symphōn gift; absent proof to the contrary, she has to be believed.. He answered, Rabbi, I did not acquire a wife and you say to me, go and deliver! Rebbi Abbahu said, it never happened to me that one got the better of me except this one. He rephrased and said: If he changed his mind, he shall deliver. If she changed her mind, she shall deliver79She has to return the gift or prove that she never received it. [Both Hammurabi’s codex (§§159–161) and the Corpus Iuris (V,l,5) double the value of the arra which has to be returned if the woman’s party decides not to proceed with the marriage. Talmudic law does not seem to have adopted this clause; it would be difficult to read it into R. Abbahu’s decision.]
While the Babli does not know the institution of symphōn, A. Gulak sees in the rules of symphōn the precursor of the Medieval contracts of promise of marriage.. Is that not his former judgment80He still insists that the man has to deliver the valuable object if he cannot prove prior delivery.? He rephrased to give it the status of a court document81As explained in the next paragraph, the symphōn was drawn up by three witnesses who could act as a court. A court document whose genuinness was attested to cannot be attacked in court..
סֶדֶר סִימְפוֹן כָּךְ הוּא. עֵד אֶחָד מִשֶּׁל חָתָן וְעֵד אֶחָד מִשֶּׁל כַּלָּה וּשְׁנֵיהֶן בּוֹרְרִין לָהֶן עוֹד אֶחָד כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיוּ לוֹ שְׁנֵי עֵדִים לָזֶה וּשְׁנֵי עֵדִים לָזֶה. הָדָא דְאַתְּ אָמַר בְּשֶׁאֵין שְׁנֵיהֶן מוֹדִין. אֲבָל אִם הָיוּ שְׁנֵיהֶן מוֹדִין שְׁנֵיהֶן יְכוֹלִין לַעֲקוֹר קִידּוּשִׁין. כְּהָדָא. הוּא אוֹמֵר. בָּעַלְתִּי. וְהִיא אוֹמֶרֶת. לֹא נִבְעַלְתִּי. אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁחָזַר וְאָמַר. לֹא בָעַלְתִּי. לֹא הַכֹּל מִמֶּנּוּ. שֶׁכְּבָר אָמַר מִשָּׁעָה רִאשׁוֹנָה. בָּעַלְתִּי. אֲבָל אִם לֹא אָמַר מִשָּׁעָה רִאשׁוֹנָה. בָּעַלְתִּי. שְׁנֵיהֶן יְכוֹלִין לַעֲקוֹר חֲזָקָה. הָיָא עֵד אֶחָד מִשֶּׁלְּחָתָן וְעֵד אֶחָד מִשֶּׁלְּכַלָּה וְהֶחָתָן חָתוּם בִּכְתַב יָדוֹ. רִבִּי אַבָּהוּ אָמַר. סִימְפוֹן. רִבִּי בָּא אָמַר. קִידּוּשִׁין. אֲנִי אוֹמֵר. לֹא עָמַד וּבִירֵר אֶת הַסִּימְפוֹן אֶלָּא סָבַר שֶׁהוּא מַתִּיר בַּאֲחוֹתָהּ. The following is the way of contracting: One witness for the groom and one witness for the bride; these two together select a third in order to have two witnesses for each side82We do not find in any other talmudic document that the witnesses testify for one party. The witnesses are supposed to testify to the genuineness of the document, equally for both sides. Each side chooses one representative and both together choose a third in the constitution of a court of arbitration (Sanhedrin 3:1:1" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Sanhedrin.3.1.1">Mishnah Sanhedrin 3:1). The procedure justifies R. Abbahu’s position in the preceding paragraph that every symphōn has the status of a court document.. That is, if not both of them agree. But if both of them agree, both may invalidate the preliminary marriage83If there is a symphōn, both parties can agree to call off the marriage. If there is a dispute, the document has to be submitted to the competent local court to determine that the relationship can be terminated without a divorce.. As, e. g., 84This has nothing directly to do with the topic of symphōn. The reference is to Yevamot 13:14:3" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Yevamot.13.14.3">Yebamot 13:16, Notes 133–134: A levirate marriage can be contracted only by sexual relations. If the sister-in-law was living in the levir’s house but claims that he never slept with her, she might be able to force him to give her ḥalîṣah. If they both agree, the court must accept their statement even though it may seem unlikely that a man would not sleep with a woman available to him. Similarly in the present case, even though a court will be reluctant to free a preliminarily married woman without a bill of divorce, if both parties agree to the existence of a symphōn, the court will have to hold that the preliminary marriage be void since it was conditional and the condition was not fulfilled.“if he said, I copulated, but she says, I was not copulated with. Even if he changed his story and then said, I did not copulate, he cannot be believed since from the start he had said, I copulated. But if from the start he said that he had not copulated, the two together can uproot the presumption.” If there was one witness for the groom, one witness for the bride, and the groom signed personally: Rebbi Abbahu said, it is a symphōn85Since there are three signatures, as required., Rebbi Abba said, it is preliminary marriage86The groom may not appear as judge in his own case. Since the formal conditions of symphōn are not satisfied, there is no symphōn and the preliminary marriage is unconditional., for I am saying that he did not really intend a symphōn but thought that it would permit her sister to him87The groom might have wanted a document which would allow him to marry the bride’s sister if for some reason the preliminary marriage would end in divorce. But preliminary marriage triggers all incest prohibitions; a symphōn is valid only to cancel a preliminary marriage if all rules are carefully observed as required for a court document..
עַד שֶׁיְּהֵא מִדַּעְתּוֹ וּמִדַּעְתָּהּ. הָיָה מִדַּעְתּוֹ סִימְפוֹן וּמִדַּעְתָּהּ קִידּוּשִׁין. רִבִּי חֲנִינָה אָמַר. סִימְפוֹן. רִבִּי חַגַּיי בְשֵׁם רִבִּי זְעִירָא אָמַר. קִידּוּשִׁין. וַהֲוָה רִבִּי חֲנִינָה מְתָרֵס כֵּלָיו קֳבַל רִבִּי חַגַּיי. אָמַר לֵיהּ רִבִּי הִילָא. קַבֵּל חַגַּיי. דְּחַגַּיי אִינְשָׁא סְבוֹרָא הוּא. דָּמַר רִבִּי זְעִירָא. בָּאֲדָר קַדְמַייָא דְמָךְ רִבִּי הִילָא. בָּאֲדָר תִּנְייָנָא אָתָא עוֹבְדָא קוֹמֵי רִבִּי חֲנַנְיָה חַבְרֵיהוֹן דְּרַבָּנִין וּבְעָא מֵיעֲבַד כְּהָדָא דְרִבִּי חַגַּיי. אָמַר לֵיהּ רִבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר אִימִּי. לֹא יְאוּת הֲוָה רִבִּי הִילָא אָמַר לָךְ. קַבֵּל לְחַגַּיי. דְּחַגַּיי אִינְשָׁא סְבוֹרָא הוּא. אָמַר רִבִּי חַגַּיי. מַתְנִיתָא מְסַייְעָא לֵיהּ. קִידַּשְׁתָּנִי. וְהוּא אוֹמֵר. לֹא קִידַּשְׁתִּיךְ. הוּא מוּתָּר בִּקְרוֹבוֹתֶיהָ וְהִיא אֲסוּרָה בִקְרוֹבָיו. הָתִיב רִבִּי בוֹרְקַי קוֹמֵי רִבִּי מָנָא. וְאִם אַף בְּסִימְפוֹן כֵּן. אָמַר לֵיהּ. לֵית סִימְפוֹן סָפֵק. אֶלָּא הוּא סִימְפוֹן אוּ קִידּוּשִׁין. Only if it be with his and her agreement88While preliminary marriage essentially is a unilateral act by the groom where the woman only has a right of refusal but no active role, a symphōn is a contract between parties of equal standing.. If it was symphōn in his opinion and preliminary marriage in her opinion89As A. Gulak (loc.cit. Note 69) points out, since the disagreement is about the nature of the contract, not its contents, it is clear that even for the woman the preliminary marriage is conditional and will be void if any of the conditions were not satisfied. The difference in the status of the contract is that in case of preliminary marriage, the woman would have to return the arra and would have no right unilaterally to cancel the marriage., Rebbi Ḥanina90As shown subsequently in the paragraph, he really is the later R. Ḥananiah, not the earlier R. Ḥanina. said, it is symphōn, Rebbi Ḥaggai in the name of Rebbi Ze‘ira said, it is preliminary marriage. Rebbi Ḥanina was taking up arms against Rebbi Ḥaggai, when Rebbi Hila said to him, accept Ḥaggai, for Ḥaggai is a thinking man; this is what Rebbi Ze‘ira said. In the first Adar91In an intercalary year, when the 12th month is reduplicated as “second Adar” to make sure that Passover fall after the spring equinox., Rebbi Hila died. In the second Adar, a case came before Rebbi Ḥananiah, the colleague of the rabbis, and he wanted to rule following Rebbi Ḥaggai. Rebbi Samuel bar Immi told him, Rebbi Hila was wrong when he told you, accept Ḥaggai, for Ḥaggai is a thinking man92Since R. Ḥaggai reported R. Ze‘ira’s opinion, rather than his own.. Rebbi Ḥaggai said, a Mishnah93Kiddushin 3:10:1" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Kiddushin.3.10.1">Mishnah 3:11. R. Ḥaggai on his own shows that the Mishnah supports R. Ze‘ira since it shows that one party can accept the consequences of preliminary marriage without imposing the same consequences on the other party. Since (Kiddushin 3:2:6" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Kiddushin.3.2.6">Note 89) the preliminary marriage even in the woman’s opinion was conditional, the ability of the groom to unilaterally terminate the relationship is not impaired if one rules following R. Ze‘ira. supports him: “ ‘You married me preliminarily’, and he says, ‘I did not marry you preliminarily.’ He is permitted her relatives but she is forbidden his relatives.” Rebbi Borqai asked before Rebbi Mana: Is it the same with symphōn94Do the rules of Kiddushin 3:3:1" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Kiddushin.3.3.1">Mishnah 3:11 also apply to symphōn?? He answered, a symphōn is not doubtful but the rules are identical for symphōn and95Reading או as (ה)אוּ, not אוֹ (A. Gulak; cf. also S. Lieberman, ו=או=הוא, Tarbiz 4, 1933, pp. 377–378.) preliminary marriage.
קִידֵּשׁ בְּתוֹךְ סִימְפוֹן הֲרֵי אֵילּוּ קִידּוּשִׁין גְּמוּרִין. גֵירַשׁ. תַּלְמִידוֹי דְרִבִּי יוֹנָה אָֽמְרִין. נָֽגְעוּ בָהּ גֵּירוּשִׁין. רִבִּי יוֹנָה אָמַר. לֹא נָֽגְעוּ בָהּ גֵּירוּשִׁין. כַּד דְּמָךְ רִבִּי יוֹנָה עַבְדוֹן תַּלְמִידוֹי דִכְװָתֵיהּ. אָֽמְרִין. לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹצְאָה בְלֹא גֵט. וְאַתְּ אָמַר. נָֽגְעוּ בָהּ גֵּירוּשִׁין. אֶלָּא לֹא נָֽגְעוּ בָהּ גֵּירוּשִׁין. מֵת מִתּוֹךְ סִימְפוֹן. רִבִּי אַבָּהוּ אָמַר. מוֹתֶּרֶת לְהִינָּשֵׂא. רִבִּי בָּא אָמַר. אֲסוּרָה לְהִינָּשֵׂא. רִבִּי מָנָא שָׁאַל לְבֵית אָבוֹי דְּרִבִּי יוֹסֵי. הֵיךְ רַבְּכוֹן נְהִיג עֲבִיד. אָמַר לֵיהּ. כְּדַי זְמָן מְרוּבֶּה הוּא אם. תֵּלֵךְ וְתִינָּשֵׂא מִיָּד. כְּדוּ זְמָן מְמוּעָט הוּא אָמַר. מַה בְכָךְ שֶׁתַּמְתִּין. שָׁלַיח דְּבָרִים בְּתוֹךְ סִימְפוֹן. רִבִּי מָנָא אוֹמֵר. סִימְפוֹן. רִבִּי בָּא אָמַר. קִידּוּשִׁין. וְחָֽשְׁשִׁין רַבָּנִין לְהָדָא דְרִבִּי מָנָא. If he performed a preliminary marriage during the validity of the symphōn, this is unconditional preliminary marriage97An unnecessary procedure since based on the symphōn he could proceed immediately with definitive marriage, retroactively validating the symphōn as preliminary marriage. His action overrides the symphōn.. If he divorced98During the period specified in the symphōn. This also is unnecessary since the contract permits each party to declare its unwillingness to proceed with the marriage, thereby eliminating the preliminary marriage., the students of Rebbi Jonah said, divorce touched her99She is forbidden to marry a Cohen.; Rebbi Jonah said, divorce did not touch her100It is as if a man not married to a woman divorces her; she is not touched by that action and free to marry a Cohen.. When Rebbi Jonah died, his students acted following him. They said, since after 30 [days]101Or any other period specified in the symphōn as final term for the definitive marriage. she would leave without a bill of divorce, how can you say that divorce touched her? But divorce did not touch her. If he died during the time stipulated in the symphōn, Rebbi Abbahu said, she is permitted to marry; Rebbi Abba said, she is not permitted to marry102This discussion presupposes the opinion of Rabban Simeon ben Gamliel (Kiddushin 3:2:2" href="/Jerusalem_Talmud_Kiddushin.3.2.2">Note 68) that the family of a man who dies after conditional preliminary marriage has the option to fulfill the conditions and force the widow to contract levirate marriage with the brother of the deceased. If a symphōn follows the rules of conditional preliminary marriage, the woman cannot marry another man without the family of the deceased giving up their option. The widow/bride naturally could exercise her option to invalidate the symphōn, but then she will have to return the arra.. Rebbi Mana asked the family of Rebbi Yose’s father: How did your master usually act? He said to him, when it was a long time103If the end of the period specified in the symphōn was far off, to require the woman to wait would be an unreasonable burden on her., he said that she should go and marry immediately. If the time was short, he said, what is the hurt if she waits? If he sent things during the validity104In addition to the contractual arra, the groom sent additional gifts to his prospective bride. If these are also considered arra, the bride keeps them if the marriage does not take place by the action of the groom; if they are engagement presents they have to be returned. of the symphōn, Rebbi Mana said, [it follows the rules of] symphōn; Rebbi Abba said, [it follows the rules of] preliminary marriage. The rabbis take note of Rebbi Mana’s opinion105If the marriage does not take place, it would be incumbent upon the man to prove in court that the gifts were specifically designated as engagement presents, not arra..