סוגיה 11- כיצד מרקדין לפני הכלה?

זמן מה לאחר האירוסין (בד"כ כעבור מספר חודשים- עד שנה), הכלה יוצאת מביתה בתהלוכת-שמחה לעבר ביתו של החתן. יש לזכור כי לצד השמחה, היה המאורע מלווה ברגשות מעורבים של הכלה בשל הריחוק ממשפחתה והחששות לקראת המעבר לתקופת חיים חדשה. החכמים הדגישו עד כמה חשוב לשמח את הכלה, לרקד ולשיר בפניה ביום זה.

כתובות ט״ז ב

תנו רבנן: כיצד מרקדין לפני הכלה?

בית שמאי אומרים כלה כמות שהיא

ובית הלל אומרים כלה נאה וחסודה.

אמרו להן בית שמאי לבית הלל: הרי שהיתה חיגרת או סומא אומרים לה כלה נאה וחסודה? והתורה אמרה (שמות כג, ז) מדבר שקר תרחק .

אמרו להם בית הלל לבית שמאי: לדבריכם מי שלקח מקח רע מן השוק ישבחנו בעיניו או יגננו בעיניו?

הוי אומר ישבחנו בעיניו!

מכאן אמרו חכמים לעולם תהא דעתו של אדם מעורבת עם הבריות.

כי אתא רב דימי אמר:

הכי משרו קמי כלתא במערבא:

לא כחל ולא שרק ולא פירכוס ויעלת חן

Ketubot 16b

and with regard to this woman, because her marriage did not generate publicity, the effect of the majority is undermined. The Gemara asks: If in fact, the marriage of anyone who is married as a virgin generates publicity, and the marriage of this woman did not generate publicity, when witnesses come, what of it? These are false witnesses, as their testimony runs counter to the presumption governing all marriages. Rather, Ravina said that it is not a universal presumption, but a majority. The marriage of most women who are married as virgins generates publicity, but for this woman, since her marriage did not generate publicity, the effect of the majority is undermined. Therefore, the testimony that she went out of her father’s house to her wedding with a hinnuma overrides the lack of publicity. § It was stated in the mishna: If there are witnesses that she went out of her father’s house to her wedding with a hinnuma, or with her hair uncovered, in a manner typical of virgins, payment of her marriage contract is two hundred dinars. The Gemara asks: And since she collects payment without producing her marriage contract, let us be concerned that she might produce witnesses in this court and collect payment, and then produce her marriage contract in that other court and collect with it payment a second time. Rabbi Abbahu said: This indicates that one writes a receipt indicating that the woman received payment. Were the woman to attempt to collect payment of her marriage contract a second time, her husband would produce the receipt. Rav Pappa said: We are dealing in the mishna with a place where one does not write a marriage contract. It is only in a case where there is no concern lest she produce her marriage contract that she collects payment based on the testimony of witnesses. And there are some who teach the dispute between Rabbi Abbahu and Rav Pappa with regard to the baraita that says: In a case where a woman lost her marriage contract or concealed her marriage contract and she claims that she is unable to find it; or her marriage contract was burned, and there is no proof with regard to the sum to which she is entitled; or practices performed exclusively at the weddings of virgins were performed at her wedding, e.g., people danced before her, or played before her, or passed before her a cup of good tidings or a cloth of virginity; if she has witnesses with regard to any one of these practices, her marriage contract is two hundred dinars. The Gemara asks: And since she collects payment without producing her marriage contract, let us be concerned that she might produce witnesses in this court and collect payment, and then produce her marriage contract in that other court and collect payment with it a second time. Rabbi Abbahu said: This indicates that one writes a receipt indicating that the woman received payment. Were the woman to attempt to collect payment of her marriage contract a second time, her husband would produce the receipt. Rav Pappa said: We are dealing in the mishna with a place where one does not write a marriage contract. The Gemara asks: But how could Rav Pappa say that the baraita is dealing with a place where one does not write a marriage contract? Isn’t it taught in that baraita: If a woman lost her marriage contract? The Gemara answers: The baraita is referring to a case where her husband wrote her a marriage contract contrary to the local custom. The Gemara asks: If he wrote her a marriage contract, the concern remains that ultimately she will produce the marriage contract and collect payment with it a second time. The Gemara answers: What is the meaning of lost? The woman lost her marriage contract in the fire. In that case, there is no longer any concern. The Gemara asks: If so, that is the case of: Her marriage contract was burned, listed separately in the baraita. And furthermore, what is there to say with regard to the case of concealed, where the concern that she will collect payment twice remains? And furthermore, if burned comes to explain the meaning of lost, why do I need the baraita to list the case of lost at all? It would have been sufficient for the baraita to mention the case of a burned marriage contract. Rather, the meaning of the baraita is: The legal status of any case where the woman claims that she lost her marriage contract is like that of a case where she concealed it before us, and we give her payment of her marriage contract only when the witnesses say that her marriage contract was burned. Otherwise, even if witnesses testify that the practices characteristic of the wedding of a virgin were performed at her wedding, she does not collect payment of her marriage contract. The Gemara notes: The one who teaches this dispute between Rabbi Abbahu and Rav Pappa with regard to the baraita, all the more so would he teach it with regard to the mishna. Applying Rav Pappa’s opinion to the mishna does not necessitate the emendation and reinterpretation necessitated by its application to the baraita. However, the one who teaches this dispute with regard to the mishna would not teach it then with regard to the baraita, in accordance with the difficulty raised there, as the plain meaning of the baraita is that it is a place where one writes a marriage contract. With regard to that same passage in the mishna: If there are witnesses that she went out of her father’s house to her wedding with a hinnuma, or with her hair uncovered, in a manner typical of virgins, payment of her marriage contract is two hundred dinars, the Gemara asks: But let us be concerned lest she first produce witnesses that she went out with a hinnuma, in this court, and collect payment, and then produce witnesses that she went out with a hinnuma, in that court, and collect payment a second time. The Gemara answers: In a place where it is not possible to guarantee that she will not collect her marriage contract more than once in any other way, certainly we write a receipt, even according to the opinion that as a rule, one does not write a receipt. § It is taught in that baraita: Or passed before her a cup of good tidings. The Gemara asks: What is a cup of good tidings? Rav Adda bar Ahava says: A cup of teruma wine is passed before the virgin bride, meaning that this woman would have been eligible to eat teruma had she married a priest. Rav Pappa strongly objects to this: Is that to say that a widow does not eat teruma if she marries a priest? Clearly she does. Therefore, what is the proof from teruma that she is a virgin? Rather, Rav Pappa says: The cup of teruma is passed before her to indicate that this bride is first, as she has not yet engaged in intercourse, like teruma that is the first gift separated from the produce. It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Yehuda says: The custom is that one passes a barrel of wine before her. Rav Adda bar Ahava said: One passes a sealed barrel of wine before a virgin, and one passes an open barrel of wine before a non-virgin. The Gemara asks: Why is that necessary? Let us pass the sealed barrel before the virgin, and before the non-virgin let us not pass a barrel at all. Why is it necessary to publicize the fact that she is a non-virgin? The Gemara explains: It is necessary, as, at times there could be a case where a non-virgin unilaterally seized two hundred dinars as payment for her marriage contract and said: I was a virgin, and the fact that they did not pass a sealed barrel before me was due to circumstances beyond their control. In order to prevent deceit of that kind, an open barrel is passed before the non-virgin, so that people will remember that she is not a virgin. § The Sages taught: How does one dance before the bride, i.e., what does one recite while dancing at her wedding? Beit Shammai say:

ביאור:

תנו רבנן [שנו חכמים]: כיצד מרקדין לפני הכלה, מה אומרים לפניה בזמן הריקוד?

בית שמאי אומרים: כלה כמות שהיא. כלומר, משבחים את הכלה לפי מעלותיה.

ובית הלל אומרים: לכבודה של כל כלה שרים: "כלה נאה וחסודה".

אמרו להן בית שמאי לבית הלל: הרי היתה הכלה חיגרת או סומא (עוורת) אומרים לה: "כלה נאה וחסודה"? והרי התורה אמרה: "מדבר שקר תרחק" (שמות כג ז) אמרו להם בית הלל לבית שמאי: לדבריכם, מי שלקח (קנה) מקח רע מן השוק, האם אדם אחר הרואה אותו לאחר שקנה ישבחנו בעיניו או יגננו בעיניו?

הוי אומר — ישבחנו בעיניו ולא יגרום לו עוגמת נפש. מכאן אמרו חכמים: לעולם תהא דעתו של אדם מעורבת עם הבריות, וינהג עמם בנימוס. ואף כאן, כיון שבחר בכלה זו, משבחים אותה שהיא נאה וחסודה.

כי אתא [כאשר בא] רב דימי מארץ ישראל לבבל, אמר: הכי משרו קמי כלתא במערבא [כך שרים לפני הכלות בארץ ישראל]: "לא כחל (צבע לעינים( ולא שרק (צבע לפנים) ולא פירכוס (קליעת שיער) –

ובכל זאת יעלת חן".

מערבא: כינוי לארץ ישראל,הנמצאת ממערב לבבל

בית הלל ובית שמאי – הלל ושמאי היו שני תנאים שפעלו במאה הראשונה לספירה ועמדו יחדיו בראש הסנהדרין (בית הדין הגדול בירושלים). האחד מהם היה נשיא, והשני אב בית הדין. הם ידועים במספר המחלוקות הרב ביניהם, בשל תפיסות העולם השונות שאפיינו אותם. לאחר מותם, תלמידיהם המשיכו את דרכם בשתי אסכולות:

בית הלל- ממשיכי דרכו של הלל. דגלו בגישה מחדשת וגמישה.

בית שמאי- ממשיכי דרכו של שמאי. גישתם משפטית ומסורתנית.

עיון ודיון:

1. מהו נושא המחלוקת שבסוגיה זו?

2. הסבירו את עמדת בית הלל ואת עמדת בית שמאי ואת נימוקיו של כל צד.

3. איזו עמדה התקבלה לבסוף? הוכיחו באמצעות סיפור המעשה אודות רב דימי.

4. חברכם מציג בפניכם בגאווה זוג מכנסיים חדשים ומבקש את חוות דעתכם.

אתם סבורים שהמכנסיים מזעזעים. כיצד תנהגו?

5. האם אתם מקבלים את ההשוואה של בית הלל בין כלה שאינה כליל השלמות

לבין "מקח רע מן השוק"? נמקו!

פותחים סוגריים

כתובות י״ז א:ה׳-ח׳

אמרו עליו על רבי יהודה בר אילעאי

שהיה נוטל בד של הדס ומרקד לפני הכלה ואומר כלה נאה וחסודה.

רב שמואל בר רב יצחק מרקד אתלת.

אמר רבי זירא: קא מכסיף לן סבא כי נח נפשיה

איפסיק עמודא דנורא בין דידיה לכולי עלמא

וגמירי דלא אפסיק עמודא דנורא אלא אי לחד בדרא אי לתרי בדרא

אמר רבי זירא: אהנייה ליה שוטיתיה לסבא

ואמרי לה שטותיה לסבא

ואמרי לה שיטתיה לסבא

רב אחא מרכיב לה אכתפיה ומרקד

אמרי ליה רבנן אנן מהו למיעבד הכי?

אמר להו: אי דמיין עלייכו ככשורא לחיי ואי לא לא.

אמר רב שמואל בר נחמני אמר רבי יונתן: מותר להסתכל בפני כלה כל שבעה כדי לחבבה על בעלה.

ולית הלכתא כוותיה

Ketubot 17a:5-8

One recites praise of the bride as she is, emphasizing her good qualities. And Beit Hillel say: One recites: A fair and attractive bride. Beit Shammai said to Beit Hillel: In a case where the bride was lame or blind, does one say with regard to her: A fair and attractive bride? But the Torah states: “Keep you from a false matter” (Exodus 23:7). Beit Hillel said to Beit Shammai: According to your statement, with regard to one who acquired an inferior acquisition from the market, should another praise it and enhance its value in his eyes or condemn it and diminish its value in his eyes? You must say that he should praise it and enhance its value in his eyes and refrain from causing him anguish. From here the Sages said: A person’s disposition should always be empathetic with mankind, and treat everyone courteously. In this case too, once the groom has married his bride, one praises her as being fair and attractive. When Rav Dimi came from Eretz Yisrael to Babylonia, he said: This is what they sing before brides in the West, in Eretz Yisrael: No eye shadow, and no rouge, and no braiding of the hair, and yet she is comparable to a graceful ibex. The Gemara relates: When the Sages ordained Rabbi Zeira, this is what they metaphorically sang with regard to him in his praise: No eye shadow, and no rouge, and no braiding of the hair, and yet she is comparable to a graceful ibex. On a related note, the Gemara relates: When the Sages ordained Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Asi, this is what they sang to them: Anyone from people of this kind and anyone from people of that kind, ordain them for us. Do not ordain for us others, neither from those who corrupt [sarmisin] halakhot, nor from those who are worthless [sarmitin]. And some say: Not from those who provide only one-fifth [ḥamisin] of the reason for a halakha, and not from those whose knowledge is incomplete [turmisin]. The Gemara relates another instance of singing the praise of the Sages: When Rabbi Abbahu would come from the academy to the house of the emperor, the maidservants of the emperor’s house would go out to greet him, and this is what they sang to him: Master of his people and leader of his nation, candle of illumination, blessed is your arrival in peace. With regard to the mitzva of bringing joy to the bride and groom, the Gemara relates: The Sages said about Rabbi Yehuda bar Elai that he would take a myrtle branch and dance before the bride, and say: A fair and attractive bride. Rav Shmuel bar Rav Yitzḥak would base his dance on three myrtle branches that he would juggle. Rabbi Zeira said: The old man is humiliating us, as through his conduct he is demeaning the Torah and the Torah scholars. It is further related: When Rav Shmuel bar Rav Yitzḥak died, a pillar of fire demarcated between him and everyone else, and we learn through tradition that a pillar of fire demarcates only for either one person in a generation or for two people in a generation. Rabbi Zeira said: His branch [shotitei] was effective for the old man, as it is due to this mitzva that he fulfilled so enthusiastically that he was privileged to receive this great reward. And some say that Rabbi Zeira said: His nonsense [shetutei] was effective for the old man. And some say that he said: His method [shittatei] was effective for the old man. Rav Aḥa would place the bride on his shoulders and dance. The Sages said to him: What is the ruling? Is it permitted for us to do so as well? He said to them: If brides are comparable for you to a beam, fine, but if not, no, you may not. Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥmani said that Rabbi Yonatan said: It is permitted to look at the face of a bride throughout all seven days of the wedding celebration, in order to endear her to her husband, whose appreciation of her beauty will be thereby enhanced. The Gemara notes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion, as it is prohibited to look at any married woman, even a bride. § The Sages taught: One reroutes the funeral procession for burial of a corpse to yield before the wedding procession of a bride. And both this, the funeral procession, and that, the wedding procession, yield before a king of Israel. They said about King Agrippa [Agrippas] that although he was not required to do so, he rerouted his entourage before the wedding procession of a bride, and the Sages praised him for doing so. The Gemara asks: The Sages praised him; is that to say by inference that he did well in yielding? But didn’t Rav Ashi say: Even according to the one who said with regard to a Nasi who relinquishes the honor due him that his honor is relinquished, i.e., he may do so, with regard to a king who relinquishes the honor due him, his honor is not relinquished. As the Master said that the meaning of the verse “You shall place a king over you” (Deuteronomy 17:15) is that his awe shall be upon you. The Torah established that the subjects’ awe is an essential component of kingship and it is not the prerogative of the king to waive it. The Gemara answers: It was at a crossroads that he encountered the wedding procession, and the fact that he yielded to the bride was not obvious to onlookers. Therefore, the honor due the king was not compromised. The Sages taught: One suspends the study of Torah to attend the removal of a corpse for burial and to attend the entry of a bride into the wedding canopy. The Sages said about Rabbi Yehuda, son of Rabbi Elai, that he would suspend the study of Torah to attend the removal of a corpse for burial and to attend the entry of a bride into the wedding canopy. In what case is this statement said? In a case where there are not enough people with him, i.e., accompanying the corpse, to satisfy all his needs, i.e., to appropriately honor him. However, if there are enough people with him to satisfy all his needs, one does not suspend Torah study. The Gemara asks: And how many people constitute all his needs? Rav Shmuel bar Eini said in the name of Rav: Twelve thousand men and six thousand additional men each sounding a shofar to herald the approaching funeral procession. And some say: Thirteen thousand men and, among them, six thousand men sounding a shofar. Ulla said: All his needs means a crowd large enough so that the men in the funeral possession form a partition stretching from the gate of the city [abbula] until the cemetery. Rav Sheshet, and some say Rabbi Yoḥanan, said: The number of people required for taking of the Torah from the Jewish people with the death of a Torah scholar is equivalent to the number present at its giving to the Jewish people. Just as its giving took place with six hundred thousand men present at Sinai, so too, the taking of the Torah at the funeral of a Torah scholar is with six hundred thousand men. The Gemara notes: This applies only to one who read the Bible and studied mishna, i.e., one who is a student of Torah, and consequently worthy of that honor.

ביאור:

לענין המצוה לשמח חתן וכלה:

אמרו עליו על ר' יהודה בר אילעאי שהיה נוטל בד (ענף) של הדס, ומרקד לפני הכלה, ואומר: "כלה נאה וחסודה".

מספרים: רב שמואל בר רב יצחק היה מרקד אתלת [על שלושה ענפים כאלה].

אמר ר' זירא: קא מכסיף לן סבא [הרי מבייש אותנו הזקן], שעל ידי ריקודים אלה הוא מזלזל בכבוד תורתו וגורם בושה לתלמידי חכמים.

ומסופר: כי נח נפשיה [כאשר נחה נפשו, נפטר] רב שמואל בר רב יצחק, איפסיק עמודא דנורא בין דידיה לכולי עלמא [הפסיק,חצץ, עמוד של אש בינו ובין כל העולם],

וגמירי דלא אפסיק עמודא דנורא [ואנו למודים במסורת שאין מפסיק עמוד אש כזה]

אלא אי לחד בדרא, אי לתרי בדרא [או לאחד בדור, או לשניים בדור].

אמר ר' זירא: אהנייה ליה שוטיתיה לסבא [הועיל לו הבד שלו לזקן], שבזכות מצוה זו שדקדק בה, זכה לשכר מרובה זה.

ואמרי לה [ויש אומרים] שאמר בלשון אחרת קצת: שהועילה לו שטותיה לסבא [שטותו לזקן], שהתנהג כשוטה כשרקד לפני הכלה].

ואמרי לה [ויש אומרים] שאמר: הועילה לו שיטתיה לסבא [שיטתו, מנהגו,לזקן].

ועוד מסופר: רב אחא היה מרכיב לה, אותה, [את הכלה] אכתפיה ]על כתיפו] והיה מרקד עימה.

אמרי ליה רבנן [אמרו לו חכמים]: אנן [אנחנו] מהו למיעבד הכי [שנעשה כך, כמוך?

אמר להו [להם]: אי דמיין עלייכו ככשורא [אם דומות הן הכלות עליכם כקורה בלבד] שאין אתם מהרהרים אודותיה — לחיי [בסדר], ואי [ואם] לא — לא תעשו כן.

ועוד בענין זה, אמר ר' שמואל בר נחמני אמר ר' יונתן: מותר להסתכל בפני כלה כל שבעה ימי המשתה של החתונה, כדי לחבבה על בעלה, שיראה שהכל מסתכלים ביופיה.

ומעירים: ולית הלכתא כוותיה [ואין הלכה כמותו], כלומר, שאסור להסתכל באשת איש אפילו היא כלה.