סוגיה 5- היעדרות מן הבית
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Byיאיר טיקטין

היעדרותו של אחד מבני-הזוג לזמן ממושך גובה מחיר כבד ממשפחתו. מאחר שלימוד תורה נתפש כערך חשוב, הותר לתלמידי-חכמים לעזוב את בתיהם לזמן קצוב, אשר הלך והתארך במהלך הדורות. סוגיה זו מציגה מקבץ סיפורים אודות חכמים שנעדרו מבתיהם זמן ממושך כדי להתמסר ללימוד תורה. כדרכה של ספרות חז"ל, היא חושפת בפנינו את המתח בין ההלכה והחוק "היבש" לבין המציאות המורכבת הדורשת התבוננות רגישה ומוסרית.

המקורות מתמודדים עם השאלה: האם תלמיד חכם רשאי לעזוב את משפחתו ולצאת ללמוד תורה ברשות האישה - וקל וחומר שלא בהסכמתה- ואם כן, לכמה זמן?

א. יציאה שלא ברשות

משנה כתובות ה׳:ו׳

הַתַּלְמִידִים יוֹצְאִין לְתַלְמוּד תּוֹרָה שֶׁלֹּא בִרְשׁוּת (ללא הסכמת האשה), שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם.... דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר:

Mishnah Ketubot 5:6

(6) One who, by vow, interdicts his wife from intercourse, Beit Shammai say, [she must wait] two weeks. Beit Hillel say one week. Students who leave for the purpose of studying Torah without the consent of their wives [have] thirty days; laborers, one week. [The law of providing sexual] pleasure [to one's wife] that is stated in the Torah [is as follows]: one at leisure, daily; laborers, twice a week; donkey drivers, once a week; camel drivers, once every thirty days; navigators every six months; these are the words of Rabbi Eliezer.

רבי אליעזר (בן הורקנוס)- מגדולי התנאים בדור השני (מאה ראשונה לספירה, לאחר חורבן בית המקדש השני). תלמידו המובהק של רבן יוחנן בן זכאי. כונה "בור סוד שאינו מאבד טיפה" בשל זכרונו המצויין

כתובות ס״ב ב:ג׳-ד׳

אמר רב ברונא אמר רב: הלכה כרבי אליעזר

אמר רב אדא בר אהבה אמר רב: זו דברי רבי אליעזר, אבל חכמים אומרים התלמידים יוצאין לתלמוד תורה ב' וג' שנים שלא ברשות.

אמר רבא סמכו רבנן אדרב אדא בר אהבה ועבדי עובדא בנפשייהו.

כי הא

דרב רחומי הוה שכיח קמיה דרבא במחוזא

הוה רגיל דהוה אתי לביתיה כל מעלי יומא דכיפורי

יומא חד משכתיה שמעתא

הוה מסכיא דביתהו

השתא אתי השתא אתי

לא אתא.

חלש דעתה

אחית דמעתא מעינה.

הוה יתיב באיגרא

אפחית איגרא מתותיה

ונח נפשיה.

Ketubot 62b:3-4
the tanna taught us a halakha with regard to all of them, not only a man of leisure or a laborer. He asked him: But with regard to a sailor it said that the set interval for conjugal relations is six months; why, then, should he have to divorce her if he vowed to forbid these relations for only a week? He answered him: It is well known that one who has bread in his basket is not comparable to one who does not have bread in his basket. On a fast day, one who does not have bread available in his basket suffers more than one who does have bread available and knows that he will be able to eat later. In this case as well, when a woman knows that marital relations are forbidden to her due to a vow, her suffering from waiting for her husband to return is increased. Rabba bar Rav Hanan said to Abaye: If a donkey driver who is already married wants to become a camel driver, what is the halakha? Is he permitted to change his profession in order to earn more money from his work, even though this will mean he reduces the frequency with which he engages in conjugal relations with his wife? He answered him: A woman prefers a kav, i.e., modest means, with conjugal relations to ten kav with abstinence. Consequently, he is not allowed to change his profession without her permission. § The mishna stated: For sailors, the set interval for conjugal relations is once every six months. This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Berona said that Rav said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Adda bar Ahava said that Rav said: This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer, but the Rabbis say: Students may leave their homes to study Torah for as long as two or three years without permission from their wives. Rava said: The Sages relied on Rabbi Adda bar Ahava’s opinion and performed an action like this themselves, but the results were sometimes fatal. This is as it is related about Rav Reḥumi, who would commonly study before Rava in Meḥoza: He was accustomed to come back to his home every year on the eve of Yom Kippur. One day he was particularly engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and so he remained in the study hall and did not go home. His wife was expecting him that day and continually said to herself: Now he is coming, now he is coming. But in the end, he did not come. She was distressed by this and a tear fell from her eye. At that exact moment, Rav Reḥumi was sitting on the roof. The roof collapsed under him and he died. This teaches how much one must be careful, as he was punished severely for causing anguish to his wife, even inadvertently. § When is the ideal time for Torah scholars to fulfill their conjugal obligations? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: The appropriate time for them is from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve, i.e., on Friday nights. Similarly, it is stated with regard to the verse “that brings forth its fruit in its season” (Psalms 1:3): Rav Yehuda said, and some say that it was Rav Huna, and some say that it was Rav Naḥman: This is referring to one who engages in marital relations, bringing forth his fruit, from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve. It is related further that Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya and son-in-law of Rabbi Yannai, would go and sit in the study hall, and every Shabbat eve at twilight he would come to his house. When he would come, Rabbi Yannai would see a pillar of fire preceding him due to his sanctity. One day he was engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and he stayed in the study hall and did not return home. When Rabbi Yannai did not see that sign preceding him, he said to the family: Turn his bed over, as one does at times of mourning, since he must have died, reasoning that if Yehuda were alive he would not have missed his set interval for conjugal relations and would certainly have come home. What he said became “like an error that proceeds from a ruler” (Ecclesiastes 10:5), and Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya, died. It is related further that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Ḥiyya. When he came to write the marriage contract, the girl died. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: Is there, Heaven forbid, some disqualification in these families, as it appears that God prevented this match from taking place? They sat and looked into the families’ ancestry and found that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was descended from Shefatya ben Avital, the wife of David, whereas Rabbi Ḥiyya was descended from Shimi, David’s brother. He went and arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra. They agreed for him that they would support him for twelve years to go to study in the study hall. It was assumed that he would first go to study and afterward get married. They passed the girl in front of the groom and when he saw her he said: Let it be just six years. They passed her in front of him again and he said to them: I will marry her now and then go to study. He was then ashamed to see his father, as he thought he would reprimand him because when he saw the girl he desired her and could not wait. His father placated him and said to him: My son, you have your Maker’s perception, meaning you acted the same way that God does. The proof for this is that initially it is written: “You bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance, the place that You, O Lord, have made for You to dwell in” (Exodus 15:17), which indicates that God’s original intention was to build a Temple for the Jewish people after they had entered Eretz Yisrael. And ultimately it is written: “And let them make Me a Sanctuary, that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8), i.e., even while they were still in the desert, which indicates that due to their closeness to God, they enjoyed greater affection and He therefore advanced what would originally have come later. After his wedding he went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back his wife had become infertile, as a consequence of spending many years without her husband. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: What should we do? If he will divorce her, people will say: This poor woman waited and hoped for naught. If he will marry another woman to beget children, people will say: This one, who bears him children, is his wife and that one, who lives with him, is his mistress. Therefore, her husband pleaded with God to have mercy on her and she was cured. Rabbi Ḥananya ben Ḥakhinai went to the study hall at the end of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai’s wedding feast. Rabbi Shimon said to him: Wait for me until I can come with you, after my days of celebration are over. However, since he wanted to learn Torah, he did not wait and went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back, all the paths of his city had changed and he did not know how to go to his home. He went and sat on the bank of the river and heard people calling to a certain girl: Daughter of Ḥakhinai, daughter of Ḥakhinai, fill your pitcher and come up. He said: I can conclude from this that this is our daughter, meaning his own daughter, whom he had not recognized after so many years. He followed her to his house. His wife was sitting and sifting flour. She lifted her eyes up, saw him and recognized him, and her heart fluttered with agitation and she passed away from the emotional stress. Rabbi Ḥananya said before God: Master of the universe, is this the reward of this poor woman? He pleaded for mercy for her and she lived. Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house, he said: I will not do what the son of Ḥakhinai, who came home suddenly with tragic consequences for his wife, did. He went and sat in the study hall in his hometown, and sent a message to his house that he had arrived. While he was sitting there his son Rabbi Oshaya, whom he did not recognize, came and sat before him. Rabbi Oshaya asked him questions about halakha, and Rabbi Ḥama saw that the halakhot of Rabbi Oshaya were incisive, i.e., he was very sharp. Rabbi Ḥama was distressed and said: If I had been here and had taught my son I would have had a child like this. Rabbi Ḥama went in to his house and his son went in with him. Rabbi Ḥama then stood up before him to honor a Torah scholar, since he thought that he wanted to ask him a matter of halakha. His wife said to him: Is there a father who stands up before his son? The Gemara comments: Rami bar Ḥama read the verse about him: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). This is referring to Rabbi Oshaya, son of Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa, as he represented the third generation of Torah scholars in his family. The Gemara further relates: Rabbi Akiva was the shepherd of ben Kalba Savua, one of the wealthy residents of Jerusalem. The daughter of Ben Kalba Savua saw that he was humble and refined. She said to him: If I betroth myself to you, will you go to the study hall to learn Torah? He said to her: Yes. She became betrothed to him privately and sent him off to study. Her father heard this and became angry. He removed her from his house and took a vow prohibiting her from benefiting from his property. Rabbi Akiva went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house he brought twelve thousand students with him, and as he approached he heard an old man saying to his wife: For how long

ביאור:

אמר רב ברונא אמר רב:

הלכה כר' אליעזר בהלכות אלה.

אמר רב אדא בר אהבה אמר רב:

כל הלכה זו היא כדברי ר' אליעזר,

אבל חכמים אומרים: התלמידים יוצאין לתלמוד תורה שתים ושלש שנים שלא ברשות נשותיהם, אף שנמנעים בשל כך מתשמיש.

אמר רבא: סמכו רבנן [חכמים] על דברי רב אדא בר אהבה ועבדי עובדא בנפשייהו [ועשו מעשה בעצמם] לצאת מן הבית וללמוד ולא תמיד היו לכך תוצאות טובות.

כי הא [כמו מעשה זה]

שרב רחומי הוה שכיח קמיה [היה מצוי לפני]

רבא בעיר מחוזא,

הוה [היה] רגיל דהוה אתי לביתיה [שהיה בא לביתו]

כל מעלי יומא דכיפורי [ערב יום כיפור].

יומא חד משכתיה שמעתא [יום אחד משכה אותו הסוגיה] ונשאר במקום, ולא בא.

הוה מסכיא דביתהו [היתה מצפה אשתו] באותו יום ואמרה בלבה:

השתא אתי, השתא אתי [עכשיו הוא בא, עכשיו הוא בא], ולבסוף

לא אתא [בא], שהרי נמשך בלימודו ונשאר בבית המדרש.

חלש [חלשה] דעתה, הצטערה,

אחית דמעתא [והורידה דמעה] מעינה.

באותה שעה הוה יתיב באיגרא [היה יושב רב רחומי על גג], אפחית איגרא מתותיה

ונח נפשיה [נפחת הגג מתחתיו ונחה נפשו, נפטר].

ללמד כמה צריך אדם להיזהר שלא לצער את אשתו ואפילו שלא בכוונה.

רב אדא בר אהבה – אמורא בבלי (דור ראשון ושני). תלמידו המובהק של רב. הרבה לדון בענייני נישואין.

רב רחומי- אמורא בבלי (דור רביעי), תלמידם של אביי ורבא במחוזא

כתובות ס״ב ב:י״א-י״ב

רבי חנניה בן חכינאי הוה קאזיל לבי רב בשילהי הלוליה דר"ש בן יוחאי

א"ל איעכב לי עד דאתי בהדך

לא איעכבא ליה

אזל יתיב תרי סרי שני בבי רב

עד דאתי אישתנו שבילי דמתא ולא ידע למיזל לביתיה

אזל יתיב אגודא דנהרא

שמע לההיא רביתא דהוו קרו לה בת חכינאי בת חכינאי מלי קולתך ותא ניזיל

אמר שמע מינה האי רביתא דידן

אזל בתרה

הוה יתיבא דביתהו קא נהלה קמחא

דל עינה חזיתיה סוי לבה פרח רוחה

אמר לפניו ריבונו של עולם ענייה זו זה שכרה

בעא רחמי עלה וחייה

Ketubot 62b:11-12
the tanna taught us a halakha with regard to all of them, not only a man of leisure or a laborer. He asked him: But with regard to a sailor it said that the set interval for conjugal relations is six months; why, then, should he have to divorce her if he vowed to forbid these relations for only a week? He answered him: It is well known that one who has bread in his basket is not comparable to one who does not have bread in his basket. On a fast day, one who does not have bread available in his basket suffers more than one who does have bread available and knows that he will be able to eat later. In this case as well, when a woman knows that marital relations are forbidden to her due to a vow, her suffering from waiting for her husband to return is increased. Rabba bar Rav Hanan said to Abaye: If a donkey driver who is already married wants to become a camel driver, what is the halakha? Is he permitted to change his profession in order to earn more money from his work, even though this will mean he reduces the frequency with which he engages in conjugal relations with his wife? He answered him: A woman prefers a kav, i.e., modest means, with conjugal relations to ten kav with abstinence. Consequently, he is not allowed to change his profession without her permission. § The mishna stated: For sailors, the set interval for conjugal relations is once every six months. This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Berona said that Rav said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Adda bar Ahava said that Rav said: This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer, but the Rabbis say: Students may leave their homes to study Torah for as long as two or three years without permission from their wives. Rava said: The Sages relied on Rabbi Adda bar Ahava’s opinion and performed an action like this themselves, but the results were sometimes fatal. This is as it is related about Rav Reḥumi, who would commonly study before Rava in Meḥoza: He was accustomed to come back to his home every year on the eve of Yom Kippur. One day he was particularly engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and so he remained in the study hall and did not go home. His wife was expecting him that day and continually said to herself: Now he is coming, now he is coming. But in the end, he did not come. She was distressed by this and a tear fell from her eye. At that exact moment, Rav Reḥumi was sitting on the roof. The roof collapsed under him and he died. This teaches how much one must be careful, as he was punished severely for causing anguish to his wife, even inadvertently. § When is the ideal time for Torah scholars to fulfill their conjugal obligations? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: The appropriate time for them is from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve, i.e., on Friday nights. Similarly, it is stated with regard to the verse “that brings forth its fruit in its season” (Psalms 1:3): Rav Yehuda said, and some say that it was Rav Huna, and some say that it was Rav Naḥman: This is referring to one who engages in marital relations, bringing forth his fruit, from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve. It is related further that Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya and son-in-law of Rabbi Yannai, would go and sit in the study hall, and every Shabbat eve at twilight he would come to his house. When he would come, Rabbi Yannai would see a pillar of fire preceding him due to his sanctity. One day he was engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and he stayed in the study hall and did not return home. When Rabbi Yannai did not see that sign preceding him, he said to the family: Turn his bed over, as one does at times of mourning, since he must have died, reasoning that if Yehuda were alive he would not have missed his set interval for conjugal relations and would certainly have come home. What he said became “like an error that proceeds from a ruler” (Ecclesiastes 10:5), and Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya, died. It is related further that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Ḥiyya. When he came to write the marriage contract, the girl died. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: Is there, Heaven forbid, some disqualification in these families, as it appears that God prevented this match from taking place? They sat and looked into the families’ ancestry and found that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was descended from Shefatya ben Avital, the wife of David, whereas Rabbi Ḥiyya was descended from Shimi, David’s brother. He went and arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra. They agreed for him that they would support him for twelve years to go to study in the study hall. It was assumed that he would first go to study and afterward get married. They passed the girl in front of the groom and when he saw her he said: Let it be just six years. They passed her in front of him again and he said to them: I will marry her now and then go to study. He was then ashamed to see his father, as he thought he would reprimand him because when he saw the girl he desired her and could not wait. His father placated him and said to him: My son, you have your Maker’s perception, meaning you acted the same way that God does. The proof for this is that initially it is written: “You bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance, the place that You, O Lord, have made for You to dwell in” (Exodus 15:17), which indicates that God’s original intention was to build a Temple for the Jewish people after they had entered Eretz Yisrael. And ultimately it is written: “And let them make Me a Sanctuary, that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8), i.e., even while they were still in the desert, which indicates that due to their closeness to God, they enjoyed greater affection and He therefore advanced what would originally have come later. After his wedding he went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back his wife had become infertile, as a consequence of spending many years without her husband. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: What should we do? If he will divorce her, people will say: This poor woman waited and hoped for naught. If he will marry another woman to beget children, people will say: This one, who bears him children, is his wife and that one, who lives with him, is his mistress. Therefore, her husband pleaded with God to have mercy on her and she was cured. Rabbi Ḥananya ben Ḥakhinai went to the study hall at the end of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai’s wedding feast. Rabbi Shimon said to him: Wait for me until I can come with you, after my days of celebration are over. However, since he wanted to learn Torah, he did not wait and went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back, all the paths of his city had changed and he did not know how to go to his home. He went and sat on the bank of the river and heard people calling to a certain girl: Daughter of Ḥakhinai, daughter of Ḥakhinai, fill your pitcher and come up. He said: I can conclude from this that this is our daughter, meaning his own daughter, whom he had not recognized after so many years. He followed her to his house. His wife was sitting and sifting flour. She lifted her eyes up, saw him and recognized him, and her heart fluttered with agitation and she passed away from the emotional stress. Rabbi Ḥananya said before God: Master of the universe, is this the reward of this poor woman? He pleaded for mercy for her and she lived. Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house, he said: I will not do what the son of Ḥakhinai, who came home suddenly with tragic consequences for his wife, did. He went and sat in the study hall in his hometown, and sent a message to his house that he had arrived. While he was sitting there his son Rabbi Oshaya, whom he did not recognize, came and sat before him. Rabbi Oshaya asked him questions about halakha, and Rabbi Ḥama saw that the halakhot of Rabbi Oshaya were incisive, i.e., he was very sharp. Rabbi Ḥama was distressed and said: If I had been here and had taught my son I would have had a child like this. Rabbi Ḥama went in to his house and his son went in with him. Rabbi Ḥama then stood up before him to honor a Torah scholar, since he thought that he wanted to ask him a matter of halakha. His wife said to him: Is there a father who stands up before his son? The Gemara comments: Rami bar Ḥama read the verse about him: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). This is referring to Rabbi Oshaya, son of Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa, as he represented the third generation of Torah scholars in his family. The Gemara further relates: Rabbi Akiva was the shepherd of ben Kalba Savua, one of the wealthy residents of Jerusalem. The daughter of Ben Kalba Savua saw that he was humble and refined. She said to him: If I betroth myself to you, will you go to the study hall to learn Torah? He said to her: Yes. She became betrothed to him privately and sent him off to study. Her father heard this and became angry. He removed her from his house and took a vow prohibiting her from benefiting from his property. Rabbi Akiva went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house he brought twelve thousand students with him, and as he approached he heard an old man saying to his wife: For how long

ביאור:

ר' חנניה בן חכינאי

הוה קאזיל לבי [היה הולך לבית] הרב בשילהי הלוליה [בסוף זמן חתונתו] של ר' שמעון בן יוחאי,

אמר ליה [לו] ר' שמעון: איעכב [המתן] לי עד דאתי בהדך [שאבוא אתך] אחרי ימי חופתי. אך בשל רצונו העז ללמוד

לא איעכבא ליה [המתין לו] .

אזל יתיב תרי סרי שני בבי [הלך וישב שתים עשרה שנה בבית] הרב. עד דאתי [שבא] לביתו אישתנו [השתנו] שבילי דמתא [העיר] ולא ידע עוד את הדרך למיזל לביתיה [ללכת לביתו].

אזל יתיב אגודא דנהרא [הלך ישב על גדת הנהר]

שמע לההיא רביתא דהוו קרו [שמע לנערה אחת שהיו קוראים] לה: "בת חכינאי, בת חכינאי, מלי קולתך ותא ניזיל [מלאי את כדך ובואי נלך".]

אמר: שמע מינה האי רביתא דידן [למד מכאן שזוהי הנערה שלנו] כלומר בתו. שהרי הוא לא הכירה לאחר כל אותן השנים.

אזל בתרה [הלך אחריה] כדי להגיע לביתו.

הוה יתיבא דביתהו קא נהלה קמחא [היתה יושבת אשתו ומנפה קמח]

דל עינה חזיתיה, סוי לבה [הרימה את עיניה, ראתה אותו, ראה ליבה] הכירה אותו, ופרח רוחה ומתה מרוב התרגשות. אמר ר' חנניה לפניו: רבונו של עולם, ענייה זו זה שכרה?! בעא רחמי עלה וחייה [ביקש רחמים עליה וחייתה] .

חנניה בן חכינאי - תנא בדור יבנה (מאה שנייה לספירה), תלמידו של רבי עקיבא

כתובות ס״ב ב:י״ג-י״ד

רבי חמא בר ביסא אזיל יתיב תרי סרי שני בבי מדרשא

כי אתא אמר לא איעביד כדעביד בן חכינאי

עייל יתיב במדרשא

שלח לביתיה

אתא ר' אושעיא בריה יתיב קמיה

הוה קא משאיל ליה שמעתא

חזא דקא מתחדדי שמעתיה חלש דעתיה

אמר אי הואי הכא הוה לי זרע

כי האי על לביתיה על בריה קם קמיה הוא סבר למשאליה שמעתתא קא בעי

אמרה ליה דביתהו: מי איכא אבא דקאים מקמי ברא

קרי עליה רמי בר חמא (קהלת ד, יב): החוט המשולש לא במהרה ינתק

זה ר' אושעיא בנו של רבי חמא בר ביסא.

Ketubot 62b:13-14
the tanna taught us a halakha with regard to all of them, not only a man of leisure or a laborer. He asked him: But with regard to a sailor it said that the set interval for conjugal relations is six months; why, then, should he have to divorce her if he vowed to forbid these relations for only a week? He answered him: It is well known that one who has bread in his basket is not comparable to one who does not have bread in his basket. On a fast day, one who does not have bread available in his basket suffers more than one who does have bread available and knows that he will be able to eat later. In this case as well, when a woman knows that marital relations are forbidden to her due to a vow, her suffering from waiting for her husband to return is increased. Rabba bar Rav Hanan said to Abaye: If a donkey driver who is already married wants to become a camel driver, what is the halakha? Is he permitted to change his profession in order to earn more money from his work, even though this will mean he reduces the frequency with which he engages in conjugal relations with his wife? He answered him: A woman prefers a kav, i.e., modest means, with conjugal relations to ten kav with abstinence. Consequently, he is not allowed to change his profession without her permission. § The mishna stated: For sailors, the set interval for conjugal relations is once every six months. This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Berona said that Rav said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Adda bar Ahava said that Rav said: This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer, but the Rabbis say: Students may leave their homes to study Torah for as long as two or three years without permission from their wives. Rava said: The Sages relied on Rabbi Adda bar Ahava’s opinion and performed an action like this themselves, but the results were sometimes fatal. This is as it is related about Rav Reḥumi, who would commonly study before Rava in Meḥoza: He was accustomed to come back to his home every year on the eve of Yom Kippur. One day he was particularly engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and so he remained in the study hall and did not go home. His wife was expecting him that day and continually said to herself: Now he is coming, now he is coming. But in the end, he did not come. She was distressed by this and a tear fell from her eye. At that exact moment, Rav Reḥumi was sitting on the roof. The roof collapsed under him and he died. This teaches how much one must be careful, as he was punished severely for causing anguish to his wife, even inadvertently. § When is the ideal time for Torah scholars to fulfill their conjugal obligations? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: The appropriate time for them is from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve, i.e., on Friday nights. Similarly, it is stated with regard to the verse “that brings forth its fruit in its season” (Psalms 1:3): Rav Yehuda said, and some say that it was Rav Huna, and some say that it was Rav Naḥman: This is referring to one who engages in marital relations, bringing forth his fruit, from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve. It is related further that Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya and son-in-law of Rabbi Yannai, would go and sit in the study hall, and every Shabbat eve at twilight he would come to his house. When he would come, Rabbi Yannai would see a pillar of fire preceding him due to his sanctity. One day he was engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and he stayed in the study hall and did not return home. When Rabbi Yannai did not see that sign preceding him, he said to the family: Turn his bed over, as one does at times of mourning, since he must have died, reasoning that if Yehuda were alive he would not have missed his set interval for conjugal relations and would certainly have come home. What he said became “like an error that proceeds from a ruler” (Ecclesiastes 10:5), and Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya, died. It is related further that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Ḥiyya. When he came to write the marriage contract, the girl died. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: Is there, Heaven forbid, some disqualification in these families, as it appears that God prevented this match from taking place? They sat and looked into the families’ ancestry and found that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was descended from Shefatya ben Avital, the wife of David, whereas Rabbi Ḥiyya was descended from Shimi, David’s brother. He went and arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra. They agreed for him that they would support him for twelve years to go to study in the study hall. It was assumed that he would first go to study and afterward get married. They passed the girl in front of the groom and when he saw her he said: Let it be just six years. They passed her in front of him again and he said to them: I will marry her now and then go to study. He was then ashamed to see his father, as he thought he would reprimand him because when he saw the girl he desired her and could not wait. His father placated him and said to him: My son, you have your Maker’s perception, meaning you acted the same way that God does. The proof for this is that initially it is written: “You bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance, the place that You, O Lord, have made for You to dwell in” (Exodus 15:17), which indicates that God’s original intention was to build a Temple for the Jewish people after they had entered Eretz Yisrael. And ultimately it is written: “And let them make Me a Sanctuary, that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8), i.e., even while they were still in the desert, which indicates that due to their closeness to God, they enjoyed greater affection and He therefore advanced what would originally have come later. After his wedding he went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back his wife had become infertile, as a consequence of spending many years without her husband. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: What should we do? If he will divorce her, people will say: This poor woman waited and hoped for naught. If he will marry another woman to beget children, people will say: This one, who bears him children, is his wife and that one, who lives with him, is his mistress. Therefore, her husband pleaded with God to have mercy on her and she was cured. Rabbi Ḥananya ben Ḥakhinai went to the study hall at the end of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai’s wedding feast. Rabbi Shimon said to him: Wait for me until I can come with you, after my days of celebration are over. However, since he wanted to learn Torah, he did not wait and went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back, all the paths of his city had changed and he did not know how to go to his home. He went and sat on the bank of the river and heard people calling to a certain girl: Daughter of Ḥakhinai, daughter of Ḥakhinai, fill your pitcher and come up. He said: I can conclude from this that this is our daughter, meaning his own daughter, whom he had not recognized after so many years. He followed her to his house. His wife was sitting and sifting flour. She lifted her eyes up, saw him and recognized him, and her heart fluttered with agitation and she passed away from the emotional stress. Rabbi Ḥananya said before God: Master of the universe, is this the reward of this poor woman? He pleaded for mercy for her and she lived. Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house, he said: I will not do what the son of Ḥakhinai, who came home suddenly with tragic consequences for his wife, did. He went and sat in the study hall in his hometown, and sent a message to his house that he had arrived. While he was sitting there his son Rabbi Oshaya, whom he did not recognize, came and sat before him. Rabbi Oshaya asked him questions about halakha, and Rabbi Ḥama saw that the halakhot of Rabbi Oshaya were incisive, i.e., he was very sharp. Rabbi Ḥama was distressed and said: If I had been here and had taught my son I would have had a child like this. Rabbi Ḥama went in to his house and his son went in with him. Rabbi Ḥama then stood up before him to honor a Torah scholar, since he thought that he wanted to ask him a matter of halakha. His wife said to him: Is there a father who stands up before his son? The Gemara comments: Rami bar Ḥama read the verse about him: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). This is referring to Rabbi Oshaya, son of Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa, as he represented the third generation of Torah scholars in his family. The Gemara further relates: Rabbi Akiva was the shepherd of ben Kalba Savua, one of the wealthy residents of Jerusalem. The daughter of Ben Kalba Savua saw that he was humble and refined. She said to him: If I betroth myself to you, will you go to the study hall to learn Torah? He said to her: Yes. She became betrothed to him privately and sent him off to study. Her father heard this and became angry. He removed her from his house and took a vow prohibiting her from benefiting from his property. Rabbi Akiva went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house he brought twelve thousand students with him, and as he approached he heard an old man saying to his wife: For how long

ביאור:

ר' חמא בר ביסא אזיל יתיב תרי סרי שני בבי מדרשא [הלך וישב שתים עשרה שנה בבית המדרש]

כי אתא [כאשר בא לביתו] אמר:

לא איעביד [אעשה] כדעביד [כמו שעשה] בן חכינאי,

שבא פתאום הביתה וגרם לאשתו אסון.

עייל יתיב במדרשא [הלך וישב בבית המדרש]

ושלח לביתיה [לביתו] להודיע שבא.

בעודו יושב בבית המדרש אתא [בא] ר' אושעיא בריה [בנו] שאותו לא הכיר ויתיב קמיה [וישב לפניו ] .

הוה קא משאיל ליה שמעתא [והיה שואל אותו ר' אושעיא הלכות].

חזא דקא מתחדדי שמעתיה [ראה ששמועותיו של ר' אושעיא מחודדות, שהוא חריף מאד]

חלש דעתיה [חלשה דעתו,הצטער]

ואמר: אי הואי הכא הוה [אם הייתי כאן ומלמד את בני היה] לי זרע כי האי [כזה, כמו נער זה].

על לביתיה, על בריה [נכנס לביתו ונכנס גם בנו],

קם קמיה [עמד האב לפניו] לתת כבוד לתלמיד חכם, כי הוא סבר למשאליה שמעתתא קא בעי

[חשב שלשאול אותו דבר הלכה הוא רוצה],

אמרה ליה דביתהו [אמרה לו אשתו] לר' חמא:

מי איכא אבא דקאים מקמי ברא [האם יש אב שעומד מפני בנו?] ומעירים: קרי עליה [קרא עליו] רמי בר חמא את הכתוב: "והחוט המשלש לא במהרה ינתק" (קהלת ד, יב)-

זה ר' אושעיא, בנו של ר' חמא בר ביסא,

שהיו במשפחה זו שלושה דורות כאחד של תלמידי חכמים.

חמא בר ביסא - אמורא ארץ-ישראלי בדור המעבר שבין תקופת התנאים והאמוראים (תחילת המאה השלישית לספירה)

ב. יציאה ברשות

תלמוד ירושלמי כתובות ה׳:ז׳:ב׳-ה׳

התלמידים יוצאין לתלמוד תורה שלא ברשות בתיהן(נשותיהם) שלשים יום (עד שלושים יום)

הא ברשות בתיהן אפילו כמה (=הרבה, אפילו יותר משלושים יום)

התלמוד הירושלמי: נוצר בבתי המדרש של אמוראי ארץ ישראל (בעיקר בטבריה ובקיסריה). אף הוא, כמו התלמוד הבבלי, מבוסס על דיונים, משא ומתן ונסיונות לפרש את המשנה. בשל נסיבות פוליטיות ומדיניות הוא לא נערך עריכה סופית, נותר כחומר גלם בלתי מעובד, תפוצתו הייתה מוגבלת ובמהלך הדורות סמכותו פחתה.

כתובות ס״א ב:י״ז-ס״ב א:א׳

התלמידים יוצאין לתלמוד וכו':

ברשות כמה?

כמה דבעי

אורחא דמילתא כמה?

אמר רב: חדש כאן וחדש בבית. שנאמר (דברי הימים א כז, א) לכל דבר המחלקות הבאה והיוצאת חדש בחדש לכל חדשי השנה.

ורבי יוחנן אמר: חדש כאן ושנים בביתו שנאמר (מלכים א ה, כח) חדש יהיו בלבנון שנים חדשים בביתו.

Ketubot 61b:17-62a:1
face blanch because he craved the food, so he took some of the food with his finger and put it in Mar Zutra’s mouth. The chief butler said to him: You have spoiled the king’s meal, as now he will not eat from it. The king’s soldiers who were there said to him: Why did you do this? He said to them: The one who makes such awful dishes is the one who actually spoiled the king’s food. They said to him: Why do you say this? He said to them: I saw something else, i.e., a leprous infection, in this meat. They checked and didn’t find anything. He took his finger and placed it on the food and said to them: Did you check here? They then checked that spot and found the infection. The Sages said to Rav Ashi: What is the reason that you relied on a miracle and assumed that leprosy would in fact be found there? He said to them: I saw a leprous spirit hovering over the food and realized that it had this defect. The Gemara relates another incident with regard to a similar subject: A certain Roman said to a certain woman: Will you marry me? She said to him: No. In order to convince her, he went and brought pomegranates and peeled them and ate them in front of her and did not give her any of them. The aroma of the pomegranates caused her mouth to water, so she swallowed all of the saliva that caused her anguish, but he did not give her any until she became ill and bloated. Ultimately, he said to her: If I cure you, will you marry me? She said to him: Yes. He went and brought pomegranates, peeled them and ate them in front of her. He said to her: All of the saliva that causes you anguish, spit it out, spit it out. She did this until something like a green leaf came out of her, and then she was cured. § The mishna says that a wife must make thread from wool. The Gemara infers: She must make thread from wool, but she is not obligated to do so from flax. The Gemara explains: Whose opinion is expressed in the mishna? It is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda, as it is taught in a baraita: A husband may not compel his wife to stand before his father and serve him, or to stand before his son and serve him, or to place straw before his animals, i.e., horses and donkeys, but he can compel her to place straw before his cattle, i.e., cows and bulls. Rabbi Yehuda said: He also cannot compel her to make thread from flax, because flax, while it is being spun, causes the mouth to smell foul and the lips to stiffen. The Gemara comments: This applies only to Roman flax, which causes the most damage. § The mishna continues: Rabbi Eliezer says: Even if she brought him a hundred maidservants, he may compel her to make thread from wool, since idleness leads to licentiousness. Rav Malkiyyu said that Rav Adda bar Ahava said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer. Rabbi Ḥanina, son of Rav Ika, said: The halakha discussed in tractate Beitza (28b) that a skewer that had been used for roasting meat but no longer has an olive-bulk of meat on it may be moved to a corner on a Festival; the halakha with regard to maidservants in the mishna here; and the halakha discussed in tractate Nidda (52a) that if a girl has two hair follicles in her pubic region, even if there are no hairs growing from them, she is considered to have reached majority and may perform ḥalitza; these three halakhot were all stated by Rav Malkiyyu. However, the halakha discussed in tractate Avoda Zara (29a) that a Jew who cuts the hair of a pagan must stop at a distance of three fingerbreadths on every side before he reaches his forelock, as the pagans would grow their forelocks for idolatry and the Jew must not appear as if he were dressing the forelock for idolatrous purposes; and the halakha discussed in tractate Makkot (21a) that one may not place burnt ashes on a wound, as it looks like a tattoo; and the halakha discussed in tractate Avoda Zara (35b) that cheese made by a gentile is forbidden, because gentiles smooth the surface of their cheese with lard; these three halakhot were all stated by a different Sage named Rav Malkiya. Rav Pappa said: The halakhot mentioned above that relate to a mishna or a baraita were stated by Rav Malkiya, whereas amoraic statements of halakhot that are not related to a mishna or baraita were taught by Rav Malkiyyu. And your mnemonic to remember this is: The mishna is a queen [malketa], indicating that the comments that are referring to a mishna were made by Rav Malkiya, whose name is similar to the Aramaic term for queen. The Gemara asks: What is the difference between Rabbi Ḥanina, son of Rav Ika, and Rav Pappa? The Gemara answers: There is a practical difference between them with regard to the halakha concerning maidservants. According to Rabbi Ḥanina, this halakha was stated by Rav Malkiyyu, whereas Rav Pappa holds that it was taught by Rav Malkiya, since it is referring to a dispute in a mishna. § The mishna says: Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel says: Even one who vows that his wife is prohibited from doing any work must divorce her and give her the payment for her marriage contract, since idleness leads to idiocy. The Gemara asks: This is essentially the same as the opinion of the first tanna, Rabbi Eliezer, who said that idleness leads to licentiousness. The Gemara answers: The practical difference between them is in a case when she plays with small dogs [guriyyata kitanyata] or with games [nadrashir] like chess. Since there is something occupying her she is not in danger of idiocy, but occupying oneself with diversions of this type may still lead to licentiousness. MISHNA: With regard to one who vows that his wife may not derive benefit from marital relations with him, Beit Shammai say: He may maintain this situation for up to two weeks, but beyond that he must divorce her and give her the payment for her marriage contract. Beit Hillel say: He must divorce her if it continues beyond one week. Apropos the husband’s obligation to his wife regarding marital relations, the Gemara mentions other aspects of this issue: Students may leave their homes and travel in order to learn Torah without their wives’ permission for up to thirty days, and laborers may leave their homes without their wives’ permission for up to one week. The set interval defining the frequency of a husband’s conjugal obligation to his wife stated in the Torah (see Exodus 21:10), unless the couple stipulated otherwise, varies according to the man’s occupation and proximity to his home: Men of leisure, who do not work, must engage in marital relations every day, laborers must do so twice a week, donkey drivers once a week, camel drivers once every thirty days, and sailors once every six months. This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. GEMARA: The Gemara asks: What is the reason that Beit Shammai say a husband may force abstinence on his wife by a vow for a period of up to two weeks without being compelled to divorce her? They derive this from the halakha that a woman who gave birth to a female is ritually impure and prohibited from engaging in conjugal relations with her husband for two weeks after childbirth (see Leviticus 12:5). From this they derive that a period of up to two weeks of abstinence is not deemed undue suffering. And from where do Beit Hillel derive their opinion? They derive it from a woman who gave birth to a male, as she is ritually impure for one week (see Leviticus 12:1–4). The Gemara asks: And if this is so, Beit Hillel should also derive the halakha from a woman who gave birth to a female, since it is clear that the Torah does at times mandate a period of abstinence longer than one week. The Gemara answers: If they derived it from a woman who gave birth, this is indeed how they would have derived it. Rather, Beit Hillel derived it from the halakha with regard to a menstruating woman, who is prohibited from marital relations for seven days according to Torah law. The Gemara explains: With regard to what do they disagree? One Sage, Beit Hillel, holds that one should derive a common matter from a common matter. Consequently, they derive the halakha of a permitted abstinence by a husband who vowed not to engage in marital relations with his wife from the halakha of a menstruating woman, since both are common cases. And one Sage, Beit Shammai, holds that one should derive a matter that one caused, such as a vow, from a different matter that he caused, i.e., childbirth, and not from menstruation, which was not caused by him at all. Rav said: The dispute between Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai concerns one who specifies the given period of time in his vow, but if he vowed not to engage in marital relations with her for an unspecified period of time, all agree that he must divorce her immediately and give her the payment for her marriage contract. The reason is that since he did not indicate how long he intended to keep the vow, her suffering begins immediately. And Shmuel said: Even with regard to an unspecified vow he should also wait for the same period of time, as perhaps he will find an extenuation enabling the dissolution of his vow and then he will not need to divorce her. The Gemara asks: Didn’t they disagree about this issue once already? As we learned in a mishna (70a): In the case of one who vows that his wife is prohibited from benefiting from him or his property, if his vow will remain in effect for up to thirty days, he must appoint a trustee to support her. But if the vow will remain in effect for more than that amount of time, he must divorce her and give her the payment for her marriage contract. And Rav said there: They taught this only with regard to a case where he specifies a limited time during which the vow would be in effect, but if he vows without specification, he must divorce her immediately and give her the payment for her marriage contract. And Shmuel said: Even when he vowed without specification, he should also wait, as perhaps he will discover an extenuation enabling the dissolution of his vow. The Gemara answers: It is necessary to cite the dispute in both cases, as if it were stated only with regard to this case, of one who vows not to engage in marital relations, one might think that in this case Rav says he must divorce her because there is no possibility of appointing a trustee, but that with regard to that halakha, in the case when he vows not to provide sustenance, which can be provided by a trustee, one would say that Rav concedes to Shmuel that he should wait. Conversely, if the dispute was stated with regard to that case, where a trustee can be appointed, one might think that in that case Shmuel said to wait, but in this case of one who vows not to engage in marital relations, one might say that Shmuel concedes to Rav. Therefore, it is necessary to cite the dispute in both cases. § The mishna said that students may leave their homes and travel for up to thirty days in order to learn Torah, without their wives’ permission. The Gemara asks: If they went with permission, for how long can they go? The Gemara expresses wonderment at this question: If they went with the permission of their wives, they can go for as long as they want. If the husband and wife agree on this, why is there any reason for the court to intervene?

ביאור:

שנינו במשנה ש התלמידים יוצאין לתלמוד תורה שלא ברשות שלושים יום.

ושואלים: ואם יוצאים ברשות, כמה?

ותוהים על השאלה: אם ברשות ובהסכמת האשה הם יוצאים, שיצאו כמה דבעי [שהם רוצים] ומה לנו להתערב בדבר שהסכימו בו הבעל והאשה?

אורחא דמילתא [דרך ארץ] כמה? מה ההתנהגות הראויה בענין זה?

אמר רב: חדש כאן בבית המדרש, וחדש בבית. ורמז לדבר, ממה שנאמר בשרות הצבא של דוד: "לכל דבר המחלקות הבאה והיצאת חדש בחדש לכל חדשי השנה" (דברי הימים א' כז, א).

ורבי יוחנן אמר: חדש כאן בבית המדרש ושנים בביתו, שנאמר בפועלים שעבדו לצורך בנין בית המקדש: "חדש יהיו בלבנון שנים חדשים בביתו " (מלכים א' ה,כח).

אישה בחלון - רות שלוס (ציירת ואמנית ישראלית)

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כתובות ס״ב ב

רבי עקיבא רעיא דבן כלבא שבוע הוה

חזיתיה ברתיה דהוה צניע ומעלי

אמרה ליה: אי מקדשנא לך אזלת לבי רב

אמר לה: אין

איקדשא ליה בצינעה ושדרתיה.

שמע אבוה אפקה מביתיה אדרה הנאה מנכסיה

אזיל יתיב תרי סרי שנין בבי רב

כי אתא אייתי בהדיה תרי סרי אלפי תלמידי

שמעיה לההוא סבא דקאמר לה: עד כמה קא מדברת אלמנות חיים !?

אמרה ליה: אי לדידי ציית יתיב תרי סרי שני אחריני

אמר: ברשות קא עבידנא

הדר אזיל ויתיב תרי סרי שני אחריני בבי רב

כי אתא אייתי בהדיה עשרין וארבעה אלפי תלמידי

שמעה דביתהו הות קא נפקא לאפיה

אמרו לה: שיבבתא שאילי מאני לבוש ואיכסאי

אמרה להו (משלי יב, י) יודע צדיק נפש בהמתו

כי מטיא לגביה נפלה על אפה קא מנשקא ליה לכרעיה

הוו קא מדחפי לה שמעיה

אמר להו: שבקוה,

שלי ושלכם שלה הוא

שמע אבוה דאתא גברא רבה למתא

אמר: איזיל לגביה אפשר דמפר נדראי

אתא לגביה

אמר לו: אדעתא דגברא רבה מי נדרת

אמר לו: אפילו פרק אחד ואפילו הלכה אחת

אמר ליה: אנא הוא

נפל על אפיה ונשקיה על כרעיה ויהיב ליה פלגא ממוניה.\

ברתיה דרבי עקיבא עבדא ליה לבן עזאי

הכי והיינו דאמרי אינשי רחילא בתר רחילא אזלא

כעובדי אמה כך עובדי ברתא

Ketubot 62b
the tanna taught us a halakha with regard to all of them, not only a man of leisure or a laborer. He asked him: But with regard to a sailor it said that the set interval for conjugal relations is six months; why, then, should he have to divorce her if he vowed to forbid these relations for only a week? He answered him: It is well known that one who has bread in his basket is not comparable to one who does not have bread in his basket. On a fast day, one who does not have bread available in his basket suffers more than one who does have bread available and knows that he will be able to eat later. In this case as well, when a woman knows that marital relations are forbidden to her due to a vow, her suffering from waiting for her husband to return is increased. Rabba bar Rav Hanan said to Abaye: If a donkey driver who is already married wants to become a camel driver, what is the halakha? Is he permitted to change his profession in order to earn more money from his work, even though this will mean he reduces the frequency with which he engages in conjugal relations with his wife? He answered him: A woman prefers a kav, i.e., modest means, with conjugal relations to ten kav with abstinence. Consequently, he is not allowed to change his profession without her permission. § The mishna stated: For sailors, the set interval for conjugal relations is once every six months. This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Berona said that Rav said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Adda bar Ahava said that Rav said: This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer, but the Rabbis say: Students may leave their homes to study Torah for as long as two or three years without permission from their wives. Rava said: The Sages relied on Rabbi Adda bar Ahava’s opinion and performed an action like this themselves, but the results were sometimes fatal. This is as it is related about Rav Reḥumi, who would commonly study before Rava in Meḥoza: He was accustomed to come back to his home every year on the eve of Yom Kippur. One day he was particularly engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and so he remained in the study hall and did not go home. His wife was expecting him that day and continually said to herself: Now he is coming, now he is coming. But in the end, he did not come. She was distressed by this and a tear fell from her eye. At that exact moment, Rav Reḥumi was sitting on the roof. The roof collapsed under him and he died. This teaches how much one must be careful, as he was punished severely for causing anguish to his wife, even inadvertently. § When is the ideal time for Torah scholars to fulfill their conjugal obligations? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: The appropriate time for them is from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve, i.e., on Friday nights. Similarly, it is stated with regard to the verse “that brings forth its fruit in its season” (Psalms 1:3): Rav Yehuda said, and some say that it was Rav Huna, and some say that it was Rav Naḥman: This is referring to one who engages in marital relations, bringing forth his fruit, from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve. It is related further that Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya and son-in-law of Rabbi Yannai, would go and sit in the study hall, and every Shabbat eve at twilight he would come to his house. When he would come, Rabbi Yannai would see a pillar of fire preceding him due to his sanctity. One day he was engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and he stayed in the study hall and did not return home. When Rabbi Yannai did not see that sign preceding him, he said to the family: Turn his bed over, as one does at times of mourning, since he must have died, reasoning that if Yehuda were alive he would not have missed his set interval for conjugal relations and would certainly have come home. What he said became “like an error that proceeds from a ruler” (Ecclesiastes 10:5), and Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya, died. It is related further that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Ḥiyya. When he came to write the marriage contract, the girl died. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: Is there, Heaven forbid, some disqualification in these families, as it appears that God prevented this match from taking place? They sat and looked into the families’ ancestry and found that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was descended from Shefatya ben Avital, the wife of David, whereas Rabbi Ḥiyya was descended from Shimi, David’s brother. He went and arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra. They agreed for him that they would support him for twelve years to go to study in the study hall. It was assumed that he would first go to study and afterward get married. They passed the girl in front of the groom and when he saw her he said: Let it be just six years. They passed her in front of him again and he said to them: I will marry her now and then go to study. He was then ashamed to see his father, as he thought he would reprimand him because when he saw the girl he desired her and could not wait. His father placated him and said to him: My son, you have your Maker’s perception, meaning you acted the same way that God does. The proof for this is that initially it is written: “You bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance, the place that You, O Lord, have made for You to dwell in” (Exodus 15:17), which indicates that God’s original intention was to build a Temple for the Jewish people after they had entered Eretz Yisrael. And ultimately it is written: “And let them make Me a Sanctuary, that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8), i.e., even while they were still in the desert, which indicates that due to their closeness to God, they enjoyed greater affection and He therefore advanced what would originally have come later. After his wedding he went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back his wife had become infertile, as a consequence of spending many years without her husband. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: What should we do? If he will divorce her, people will say: This poor woman waited and hoped for naught. If he will marry another woman to beget children, people will say: This one, who bears him children, is his wife and that one, who lives with him, is his mistress. Therefore, her husband pleaded with God to have mercy on her and she was cured. Rabbi Ḥananya ben Ḥakhinai went to the study hall at the end of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai’s wedding feast. Rabbi Shimon said to him: Wait for me until I can come with you, after my days of celebration are over. However, since he wanted to learn Torah, he did not wait and went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back, all the paths of his city had changed and he did not know how to go to his home. He went and sat on the bank of the river and heard people calling to a certain girl: Daughter of Ḥakhinai, daughter of Ḥakhinai, fill your pitcher and come up. He said: I can conclude from this that this is our daughter, meaning his own daughter, whom he had not recognized after so many years. He followed her to his house. His wife was sitting and sifting flour. She lifted her eyes up, saw him and recognized him, and her heart fluttered with agitation and she passed away from the emotional stress. Rabbi Ḥananya said before God: Master of the universe, is this the reward of this poor woman? He pleaded for mercy for her and she lived. Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house, he said: I will not do what the son of Ḥakhinai, who came home suddenly with tragic consequences for his wife, did. He went and sat in the study hall in his hometown, and sent a message to his house that he had arrived. While he was sitting there his son Rabbi Oshaya, whom he did not recognize, came and sat before him. Rabbi Oshaya asked him questions about halakha, and Rabbi Ḥama saw that the halakhot of Rabbi Oshaya were incisive, i.e., he was very sharp. Rabbi Ḥama was distressed and said: If I had been here and had taught my son I would have had a child like this. Rabbi Ḥama went in to his house and his son went in with him. Rabbi Ḥama then stood up before him to honor a Torah scholar, since he thought that he wanted to ask him a matter of halakha. His wife said to him: Is there a father who stands up before his son? The Gemara comments: Rami bar Ḥama read the verse about him: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). This is referring to Rabbi Oshaya, son of Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa, as he represented the third generation of Torah scholars in his family. The Gemara further relates: Rabbi Akiva was the shepherd of ben Kalba Savua, one of the wealthy residents of Jerusalem. The daughter of Ben Kalba Savua saw that he was humble and refined. She said to him: If I betroth myself to you, will you go to the study hall to learn Torah? He said to her: Yes. She became betrothed to him privately and sent him off to study. Her father heard this and became angry. He removed her from his house and took a vow prohibiting her from benefiting from his property. Rabbi Akiva went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house he brought twelve thousand students with him, and as he approached he heard an old man saying to his wife: For how long

ביאור:

ר' עקיבא רעיא [רועה] של בן כלבא שבוע הוה [היה]. חזיתיה ברתיה דהוה צניע ומעלי [ראתה אותו בתו של כלבא שבוע שהוא צנוע ומעולה],

אמרה ליה [לו]:אי מקדשנא [אם אתקדש] לך, אזלת לבי] תלך לבית] הרב ללמוד?

אמר לה: אין [כן],

איקדשא ליה [התקדשה לו] בצינעה ושדרתיה [ושלחה אותו ללמוד].

שמע אבוה [אביה] את הדבר, אפקה מביתיה, אדרה [הוציאה מביתו והדיר אותה] הנאה מנכסיה [מנכסיו]. אזיל יתיב תרי סרי שנין בבי [הלך ר' עקיבא וישב שתים עשרה שנה בבית] הרב.

כי אתא, אייתי בהדיה תרי סרי אלפי תלמידי [כאשר בא שוב לביתו, הביא איתו שנים עשר אלף תלמידים]. ובינתיים,

שמעיה לההוא סבא דקאמר] שמע זקן אחד שאומר] לה, לאשתו: עד כמה קא מדברת [את נוהגת] כאלמנות חיים,שהרי בעלך נמצא במקום אחר, ואת חיה כאלמנה בחייו?!

אמרה ליה [לו]: אי לדידי ציית [אם לי היה מקשיב]- יתיב תרי סרי שני אחריני [היה יושב עוד שתים עשרה שנים אחרות].

אמר ר' עקיבא כששמע זאת: ברשות קא עבידנא [אני עושה[.

הדר אזיל ויתיב תרי סרי שני אחריני בבי [הלך וישב ללמוד תורה שתים עשרה שנה אחרות בבית] הרב. כי אתא אייתי בהדיה [כאשר בא, הביא איתו] עשרין וארבעה אלפי תלמידי [תלמידים].

שמעה דביתהו [אשתו] הות קא נפקא לאפיה [ויצאה לקראתו לקבל פניו].

אמרו לה שיבבתא [השכנות]: שאילי מאני לבוש ואיכסאי [שאלי בגד ללבוש והתכסי בו[ שלבושך אינו מתאים לקבל פני אדם גדול.

אמרה להו [להן]: "יודע צדיק נפש בהמתו" (משלי יב, י ).

כי מטיא לגביה, נפלה על אפה, קא מנשקא ליה לכרעיה [כאשר הגיעה אליו, נפלה על פניה ונישקה את רגליו]

הוו קא מדחפי לה שמעיה [היו דוחפים אותה שמשיו], שלא ידעו מי היא.

אמר להו [להם] ר' עקיבא: שבקוה [הניחו לה] כי כל התורה שלי ושלכם — שלה הוא.

בינתיים שמע אבוה [אביה] דאתא גברא רבה למתא [שבא אדם גדול לעיר] אמר: איזיל לגביה, אפשר דמפר נדראי [אלך אליו, אולי יפר את נדרי] ואוכל לפרנס את בתי. אתא לגביה [בא אליו[

אמר ליה [לו] ר' עקיבא: אדעתא דגברא רבה מי [על דעת שיהא עקיבא זה אדם גדול האם] נדרת?

אמר ליה [לו]: אפילו אם היה יודע פרק אחד, ואפילו הלכה אחת לא הייתי מקפיד.

אמר ליה [לו]: אנא [אני] הוא.

נפל חותנו על אפיה [פניו]

ונשקיה [ונשקו] על כרעיה [רגליו]

ויהיב ליה פלגא ממוניה [ונתן לו את חצי ממונו].

ברתיה [בתו] של ר' עקיבא

עבדא ליה [עשתה לו] לבן עזאי הכי [כך],

שהיה איש פשוט והיא גרמה לו שילמד תורה.

והיינו דאמרי אינשי [והוא שאומרים בני אדם בפתגם מקובל]: רחילא בתר רחילא אזלא

[כבשה אחר כבשה הולכת] ,

כעובדי אמה כך עובדי ברתא

[כמעשי האם כך מעשי הבת].

רבי עקיבא (בן יוסף) – מגדולי התנאים במאה השנייה לספירה. על פי המסורת הוא צאצא למשפחת גרים. מילא תפקיד חשוב באיסוף ובמיון מקורות התורה שבעל-פה ובחידוש הלכות רבות בהתבסס על מדרש התורה. תמיכתו הפומבית במרד בר-כוכבא נגד הרומאים הובילה להוצאתו להורג והוא אחד מ"עשרת הרוגי מלכות".

אשת רבי עקיבא- ידוע שהייתה ממשפחה עשירה ומכובדת. בדומה לנשים בסיפורים שלמדנו, היא אינה מוצגת בשמה. במקור אחר מסופר כי שמה היה רחל (כבשה צעירה). מכאן ניתן להבין גם את הסיפור על בִּתם ואת האמירה: "רחלה אחר רחלה הולכת" .

בן עזאי – שמעון בן עזאי, תנא (מאה שנייה לספירה). תלמידו וחברו של רבי עקיבא. נאמר עליו: "משמת בן עזאי בטלו השקדנים". בשל מסירותו ללימוד תורה.

עיון ודיון

1. ציינו את ההבדלים בין הסיפור אודות חנניה בן חכינאי לסיפור אודות חמא בר ביסא.

2. האם, לדעתכם, הסיפור הראשון מציג מסר המעודד לעזוב את הבית? נמקו!

3 א. מהו המסר שניתן ללמוד מהבדלים אלו?

ב. האם יש משמעות להבאת שני הסיפורים יחדיו? הסבירו!

פותחים סוגריים

*שולמית ולר- "נשים ונשיות בסיפורי התלמוד"- (הוצאת הקיבוץ המאוחד, 2001, עמ' 20-21)

"הבעיה שסביבה נרקמו הסיפורים הכלולים בקובץ זה מוכרת וידועה גם בעולם המודרני.

גם כיום החברה מצפה שהנשים תסכמנה לערוך ויתורים במישור החומרי ובמישור הרגשי למען קידום הקריירה, היוקרה או חיי הרוח של בעליהן. וגם כיום הבעיה של עזיבת הבית או "עולם הבית" למען עולם אחר קיימת דווקא אצל אנשים מוכשרים ומוצלחים, המונעים על-ידי אמביציה או אידאלים, ממש כמו אותם חכמים שהם גיבורי הסיפורים התלמודיים.

והנה, בקובץ הסיפורים על תלמידי חכמים שעזבו את בתיהם מתגלה רגישות גבוהה מאד להרגשותיהן ולעמדותיהן של הנשים. זווית-הראייה הנשית מתבטאת הן בכל סיפור כלפי עצמו והן בדרך עריכת הסיפורים בקובץ; נראה כי העריכה מכוונת בבירור ללקח, שעל פיו הבנה ושותפות בין בני זוג, וגילוי רגישות לרצונה של האישה חשובים יותר מקריירה של לימוד-תורה, על אף חשיבותה ומרכזיותה של זו בעולם היהודי.

*פרופ' שולמית ולר – חוקרת תלמוד וספרות חז"ל, כתבה ספרים ומאמרים אודות נשים בספרות התלמודית.

עיון ודיון

1. במה שונה יציאתו של רבי עקיבא ללימודים, מיציאתם של רב רחומי, חנניה בן חכינאי

וחמא בר ביסא? הסבירו ונמקו בהתבסס על הטקסט.

2. נסו לתאר מה הקריבו נשותיהם וילדיהם של החכמים, בשעה שהם היו מצויים הרחק

מבתיהם.

3. עיינו בתלמוד המודפס. מצאו את הסיפורים. חשבו ושערו: מדוע סודרו ארבעת

הסיפורים דווקא בסדר זה? הציגו הוכחות מן הטקסט.

4. שולמית ולר טוענת כי "זווית הראיה הנשית" באה לידי ביטוי בסיפורים הללו.

- בחרו שתי דוגמאות, הציגו והסבירו אותן לאור טענה זאת.

- האם אתם מסכימים עם טענה זאת? נמקו!

https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2014/09/21/17/56/wanderer-455338__340.jpg