גַּם הָיָה רָגִיל מְאֹד בִּימֵי קַטְנוּתוֹ וּבִימֵי יַלְדוּתוֹ לָרוּץ בְּכָל פַּעַם עַל קֶבֶר הַבַּעַל־שֵׁם־טוֹב זצוק"ל, לְבַקֵּשׁ מֵאִתּוֹ שֶׁיַּעְזְרוֹ לְהִתְקָרֵב לה' יִתְבָּרַךְ. During his childhood, the Rebbe constantly visited the grave of the holy Baal Shem Tov. He would speak to his great-grandfather and ask him to help him draw close to God.
וְהָיָה רָגִיל לֵילֵךְ לְשָׁם בַּלַּיְלָה. וּבִזְמַן הַחֹרֶף, בְּעֵת שֶׁהָיָה הַקְּרִירוּת גָּדוֹל מְאֹד, הָיָה הוֹלֵךְ לְשָׁם בַּלַּיְלָה, וּמִשָּׁם חָזַר וְהָלַךְ אֶל הַמִּקְוֶה. וְהָיָה שָׁם מִקְוֶה חוּץ לַמֶּרְחָץ, וּמִקְוֶה אֶחָד בְּתוֹךְ הַמֶּרְחָץ. וּבָחַר לוֹ לֵילֵךְ בְּהַמִּקְוֶה שֶׁחוּץ לַמֶּרְחָץ, בְּעֵת הַקְּרִירוּת גָּדוֹל. He would go at night, even during the great winter frosts. After leaving the gravesite he would immerse in a mikvah.25A special ritual pool used for purification, prescribed in Leviticus 11:32; cf. Sifra ad loc.; Yad Chazakah, Mikvaot 1:2. He may have immersed upon returning from the cemetery because the latter is considered an impure place. The town of Medzeboz, where he lived as a child, had two mikvaot. One was inside the bathhouse and the other was in the outside courtyard. The Rebbe always chose to immerse in the outdoor mikvah, even during the great frosts when he was thoroughly chilled from his trip to the Baal Shem Tov’s grave.
וּכְבָר הָיָה קַר לוֹ מְאֹד מֵחֲמַת שֶׁבָּא מֵהַקֶּבֶר הַנַּ"ל, כִּי הָיָה דֶּרֶךְ רָחוֹק בֵּין בֵּיתוֹ לְהַבֵּית עָלְמִין, וְכֵן מֵהַבֵּית עָלְמִין לַמִּקְוֶה. מִלְּבַד הַשְּׁהִיּוֹת שֶׁנִּשְׁתָּהָה הַרְבֵּה עַל הַקֶּבֶר. אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן אַחַר כָּל זֶה הָיָה הוֹלֵךְ דַּוְקָא לִטְבֹּל בְּהַמִּקְוֶה שֶׁהָיְתָה עוֹמֶדֶת בַּחוּץ, כְּדֵי לְסַגֵּף עַצְמוֹ. וְכָל זֶה בְּהֶצְנֵעַ בַּלַּיְלָה. It was a long walk from the Rebbe’s house to the cemetery. Then the Rebbe could spend a long time at the grave. After this, he had another long walk to the mikvah. He would arrive there frozen, but would still use the outdoor mikvah. He forced himself to do this in order to gain total self-mastery. All this took place late at night, when he could not be seen.
וְשָׁמַעְתִּי מֵאֶחָד שֶׁאָמַר שֶׁשָּׁמַע מִפִּיו הַקָּדוֹשׁ: שֶׁבְּעֵת שֶׁעָשָׂה הַנְהָגוֹת אֵלּוּ, לֹא הָיָה כִּי־אִם בֶּן שִׁשָּׁה שָׁנִים. I heard this from another person who heard it from the Rebbe’s own holy lips. This practice took place when the Rebbe was no more than six years old.
וְכָל כָּךְ הָיָה מֻצְנָע בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ מִבְּנֵי אָדָם, עַד שֶׁפַּעַם אַחַת הָלַךְ לַמִּקְוֶה בַּבֹּקֶר בַּחֹרֶף, וּבָא מֵהַטְּבִילָה וְהַפֵּאוֹת הָיוּ לַחוֹת מֵהַמַּיִם. וְתָמְהוּ עָלָיו הָעוֹלָם; שֶׁבַּחֹרֶף יִהְיֶה הָאָדָם חוֹפֵף ראֹשׁוֹ?. כִּי לֹא עָלָה עַל דַּעְתָּם שֶׁהָיָה בַּמִּקְוֶה, רַק סָבְרוּ שֶׁחָפַף ראֹשׁוֹ. וְתָמְהוּ עָלָיו עַל שֶׁחָפַף ראֹשׁוֹ בִּקְרִירוּת כָּזֶה. וְהָיוּ מַחֲזִיקִים זֹאת לְמַעֲשֶׂה נַעֲרוּת שֶׁלּוֹ. כִּי הָיָה מֻצְנָע מְאֹד מְאֹד בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ. The Rebbe concealed his devotions to such an extent that there were often humorous results. One icy winter morning, he went to the mikvah and returned to the synagogue with dripping wet peyot.26Long sidelocks grown in accordance with the Kabbalistic interpretation of Leviticus 19:27. Cf. Likutey Torah HaAri and Shaar HaMitzvot ad loc. The people looked at him with surprise, wondering why his hair was wet. They never imagined that such a young child was immersing in the mikvah, and thought that he had washed his hair. But washing one’s hair early in the morning on such a frigid day seemed ludicrous, so they dismissed it as another one of his childish ways. No one ever imagined the truth, so completely did he conceal his devotions.
גַּם כָּל הַתַּעֲנִיתִים הָרַבִּים מְאֹד שֶׁהִתְעַנָּה, לֹא הָיָה יוֹדֵעַ מֵהֶם שׁוּם אָדָם בָּעוֹלָם, אֲפִלּוּ אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ וּקְרוֹבָיו. רַק אִשְׁתּוֹ לְבַד הָיְתָה יוֹדַעַת מִזֶּה. וְהָיָה מַשְׁבִּיעָהּ שֶׁלֹּא תְּגַלֶּה לְשׁוּם אָדָם. וְהָיָה עוֹשֶׂה כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה תַּחְבּוּלוֹת לְהַעֲלִים וּלְהַסְתִּיר כָּל הַתַּעֲנִיתִים שֶׁהִתְעַנָּה בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁלֹּא יָדַע מֵהֶם אִישׁ. The same was true of his many great fasts. Not a single person knew about them, not even his parents and relatives. Only his wife knew that he was not taking his meals, and he made her swear not to reveal it. The Rebbe used every device possible to conceal his fasts so that no one knew about them at all (see “His Wisdom” #160-162).