וְכַאֲשֶׁר שָׁמְעָה אִשְׁתּוֹ זֹאת, שָׁלְחָה בִּתָּהּ אֵלָיו לִשְׁאֹל אוֹתוֹ: 'אֵיךְ אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לְהַנִּיחַ אוֹתָם, מִי יְפַרְנְסֵם?'. When the Rebbe’s wife heard this, she was beside herself. She sent her daughter to ask him how it was possible for him to leave them without some means of support.
וְהֵשִׁיב כָּךְ: "אַתְּ תִּסְעִי לִמְחֻתָּנֵךְ, אֲחוֹתֵךְ הַגְּדוֹלָה יִקַּח אֶחָד אוֹתָהּ לִהְיוֹת בְּבֵיתוֹ מְשָׁרֶתֶת קְטַנָּה (שֶׁקּוֹרִין נִיָאנְקֶע), אֲחוֹתֵךְ הַקְּטַנָּה יִקַּח אֶחָד אוֹתָהּ לְבֵיתוֹ מִצַּד רַחֲמָנוּת, וְאִמֵּךְ תִּהְיֶה מְשָׁרֶתֶת קֶעכִין, וְכָל מַה שֶּׁבְּבֵיתִי אֶמְכֹּר הַכֹּל עַל הוֹצָאַת הַדֶּרֶךְ". The Rebbe answered his daughter,7The Rebbe was addressing his middle daughter, Sarah, and from the narrative, it appears that she was already engaged. Although the engagements of her older sister, Adil, and younger sister, Miriam, are recorded in Tzaddik, there is no mention of Sarah’s engagement. This reference appears to indicate that she was engaged before Rebbe Nachman’s pilgrimage. It can be calculated that Adil was approximately eleven at the time; Sarah, nine; and Miriam, eight. “You can travel to your fiance’s parents. Someone will take in your older sister to live as a nursemaid. Another will take in your younger sister out of pity. Your mother can find work as a cook. I will sell everything in the house for traveling expenses.”
וְכַאֲשֶׁר שָׁמְעוּ זֹאת בְּנֵי בֵיתוֹ, גָּעוּ כֻּלָּם בִּבְכִיָּה וּבָכוּ כַּמָּה יָמִים. וְלֹא הָיָה לוֹ שׁוּם רַחֲמָנוּת עֲלֵיהֶם, When the Rebbe’s family heard this, they all burst into tears. They wept bitterly, but he had no pity on them.
וְאָמַר: כִּי לָא סַגִּי, בְּלָאו הָכִי, יִהְיֶה אֵיךְ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה הוּא יִסַּע בְּוַדַּאי, כִּי רֻבּוֹ כְּבָר הוּא שָׁם וּמִעוּטָא בָּתַר רֻבָּא אַזְלָא. (וְאָמַר בְּזֶה הַלָּשׁוֹן: וָוארִין דִּי גְרֶעסְטִי הֶעלְפְט אִיז שׁוֹין דָּארְט וְכוּ'). He said, “It is impossible without this. No matter what happens, I must certainly go. Varin di grester helft is shoin dort – For most of me is already there; and the minority must follow the majority.”
וְאָמַר: אֲנִי רוֹצֶה לִנְסֹעַ לְאֶרֶץ־יִשְׂרָאֵל וַאֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ גֹּדֶל הַמְּנִיעוֹת וְהָעִכּוּבִים שֶׁיִּהְיוּ לִי עַל זֶה בְּלִי שִׁעוּר וָעֵרֶךְ. אַךְ כָּל זְמַן שֶׁהַנְּשָׁמָה בְּקִרְבִּי, כָּל זְמַן שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לִי רוּחַ חַיִּים בְּאַפִּי, אֶמְסֹר נַפְשִׁי וְאֶסַּע בְּכָל כֹּחִי לְשָׁם, וְכָל עוֹד נַפְשִׁי בִּי אֶסַּע לְשָׁם "וַה' הַטּוֹב בְּעֵינָיו יַעֲשֶׂה". The Rebbe said, “I have set my heart on this journey to the Land of Israel. I know that I will find my way blocked with countless barriers, but as long as my soul is in me, I will do everything in my power to go. While there is a spark of life within me, I will continue, and let God do what is good in His eyes” (I Samuel 3:18).