Ramban on Deuteronomy 21:12

וְעָשְׂתָה אֶת צִפָּרְנֶיהָ, תְּגַדְּלֵם כְּדֵי שֶׁתִּתְנַוֵּל, לְשׁוֹן רַשִׁ"י (רש"י על דברים כ"א:י"ב), כְּדִבְרֵי רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא (יבמות מח), וְכֵן פֵּרֵשׁ אוּנְקְלוֹס (תרגום אונקלוס על דברים כ"א:י"ב). וְהִנֵּה לְדַעְתָּם יִהְיֶה וְעָשְׂתָה, כְּמוֹ וְעָשָׂת אֶת הַתְּבוּאָה (ויקרא כה כא), כִּי הַצְּמִיחָה תִּקָּרֵא עֲשִׂיָּה. אֲבָל בְּסִפְרֵי (תצא ז) אָמַר רְאָיָה לְדִבְרֵי רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר, וְלֹא עָשָׂה רַגְלָיו וְלֹא עָשָׂה שְׂפָמוֹ (שמואל ב יט כה), וְהִיא רְאָיָה גְּדוֹלָה. לְכָךְ אֲנִי אוֹמֵר כִּי כָל אֵלֶּה מִשְׁפְּטֵי אֲבֵלוּת, וְהַכֹּל נִמְשָׁךְ אֶל וּבָכְתָה אֶת אָבִיהָ וְאֶת אִמָּהּ (דברים כ"א:י"ג), וְצִוָּה שֶׁתְּגַלֵּחַ רֹאשָׁהּ כְּדֶרֶךְ הָאֲבֵלוּת, כְּעִנְיָן וַיָּגָז אֶת רֹאשׁוֹ (איוב א כ) דְּאִיּוֹב, וְכֵן גָּזִּי נִזְרֵךְ (ירמיהו ז כט), וְכֵן קְצִיצַת הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם אֲבֵלוּת כְּגִלּוּחַ הָרֹאשׁ, וְאָמַר וְהֵסִירָה אֶת שִׂמְלַת שִׁבְיָהּ מֵעָלֶיהָ, כְּלוֹמַר תִּלְבַּשׁ בִּגְדֵי אֵבֶל, וְיָשְׁבָה בְּבֵיתֶךָ כְּאַלְמָנָה, וְלֹא תֵּצֵא חוּץ כְּלָל, וּבָכְתָה אֶת אָבִיהָ וְאֶת אִמָּהּ, וְתַעֲשֶׂה כָּל זֶה יֶרַח יָמִים, כִּי כֵן דֶּרֶךְ הָאֲבֵלִים. וְעַל דַּעַת רַבּוֹתֵינוּ (ספרי תצא יא) שֶׁאוֹמְרִים שֶׁהַכֹּל לְכַעֵר אֶת יָפְיָהּ, צִוָּה שֶׁתָּסִיר הַבְּגָדִים הַנָּאִים מֵעָלֶיהָ, שֶׁהַגּוֹיִם אֲרוּרִים הֵם בְּנוֹתֵיהֶם מִתְקַשְּׁטוֹת בַּמִּלְחָמָה כְּדֵי לִזְנוֹת אַחֲרֵיהֶן, וּתְגַלֵּחַ אֶת רֹאשָׁהּ, שֶׁהוּא נִוּוּל גָּדוֹל, וְתָקֹץ הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם, כִּי מִנְהַג הַנָּשִׁים לְגַדֵּל אוֹתָם וּלְצָבְעָם בְּמִינֵי הַפּוּךְ וְהַצִּבְעוֹנִים, וְיִקְרָא הַכָּתוּב הַקְּצִיצָה עֲשִׂיָּה, בַּעֲבוּר כִּי שְׂעַר הָרַגְלַיִם וְהַשָּׂפָם גַּם הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם לְגָדְלָם יִקְצְצוּ אוֹתָם. וְהַנִּרְאֶה בְּעֵינַי כִּי הוּא לָשׁוֹן מְקֻצָּר, הִרְגִּילוּ לְקַצֵּר בְּדָבָר הַמּוּבָן, וְטַעְמוֹ לֹא עָשָׂה אֶת רַגְלָיו וְאֶת שְׂפָמוֹ הַמַּעֲשֶׂה הַנַּעֲשֶׂה בָּהֶם, יִרְמֹז לְגִלּוּחַ שְׂעַר הָרַגְלַיִם וְהַשָּׂפָם אוֹ לִרְחִיצַת הָרַגְלַיִם עַצְמָן, וְכֵן דַּעַת יוֹנָתָן בֶּן עֻזִּיאֵל שֶׁאָמַר, לֹא שָׁטַף יָת רַגְלֵיהּ וְלָא סַפַּר שְׂפָמֵהּ, וְכֵן וְעָשְׂתָה אֶת צִפָּרְנֶיהָ, מַעֲשֵׂה הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם. וְהַמְּפָרְשִׁים (עיין רש"י בראשית א ז) אָמְרוּ כִּי טַעַם עֲשִׂיָּה, תִּקּוּן, וְכֵן וַיְמַהֵר לַעֲשׂוֹת אוֹתוֹ (שם יח ז). וְהַטַּעַם בַּפָּרָשָׁה הַזּוֹ מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהִיא מִתְגַּיֶּרֶת בְּעַל כָּרְחָהּ, וְאֵין שׁוֹאֲלִין אוֹתָהּ אִם תַּחְפֹּץ לַעֲזֹב דָּתָהּ וּלְהִתְיַהֵד כַּאֲשֶׁר נַעֲשֶׂה בַּגֵּרִים, אֲבָל יֹאמַר לָהּ הַבַּעַל שֶׁתִּשְׁמֹר תּוֹרַת יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּעַל כָּרְחָהּ וְתַעֲזֹב יִרְאָתָהּ. וְזֶה טַעַם וּבָכְתָה אֶת אָבִיהָ וְאֶת אִמָּהּ, כִּי תַּעֲזֹב אֶת עַמָּהּ וְאֶת אֱלֹהֶיהָ. וְהוּא מִדְרָשׁוֹ שֶׁל רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא, אֵין אָבִיהָ אֶלָּא עֲבוֹדָה זָרָה, כְּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ירמיהו ב כז), אֹמְרִים לָעֵץ אָבִי אַתָּה וְלָאֶבֶן אַתְּ יְלִדְתִּנִי. וְהַכְּלָל כִּי הִיא מִתְאַבֶּלֶת עַל עָזְבָהּ אֶת דָּתָהּ וְתִהְיֶה לְעַם אַחֵר. וְיִתָּכֵן שב"ד מַטְבִּילִין אוֹתָהּ בְּעַל כָּרְחָהּ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁעוֹשִׂים בָּעֲבָדִים. וּמִפְּנֵי שֶׁאֵינָהּ מִתְיַהֶדֶת כַּמִּשְׁפָּט הִרְחִיק אוֹתָהּ הַכָּתוּב כָּל הַזְּמַן הַזֶּה. וְטַעַם הָאֲבֵלוּת וְהַבְּכִי עַל דַּעַת רַבּוֹתֵינוּ כְּדֵי שֶׁתִּתְנַוֵּל, אוּלַי יַעֲבֹר חִשְׁקוֹ מִמֶּנָּה. ור"א אָמַר כִּי נָתְנָה לָהּ הַתּוֹרָה זְמַן כְּמִשְׁפַּט הַבּוֹכִים עַל מֵת, לִכְבוֹד אָבִיהָ וְאִמָּהּ שֶׁמֵּתוּ בַּמִּלְחָמָה. וְהָרַב אָמַר בְּמוֹרֶה הַנְּבֻכִים (ג מא), לְחֶמְלָה עָלֶיהָ, שֶׁתִּמְצָא מָנוֹחַ לְנַפְשָׁהּ, כִּי יֵשׁ לָעֲצַבִּים מָנוֹחַ וְהַשְׁקֵט בִּבְכִיָּתָם וְאֶבְלָם, וּבַזְּמַן הַהוּא לֹא יַכְרִיחֶנָּה לְהַנִּיחַ דָּתָהּ וְלֹא יִבְעָלֶנָּה. וְעַל דַּעְתִּי אֵין הַפְּנַאי לַחְמֹל עָלֶיהָ, רַק שֶׁיֵּעָקֵר שֵׁם ע"ז מִפִּיהָ וּמִלִּבָּהּ, וּלְכַבּוֹת עוֹד גַּחֶלֶת הַנְּדוֹד וְהַפֵּרוּד מֵאָבִיהָ וּמֵאִמָּהּ וּמֵעַמָּהּ, שֶׁאֵין הָגוּן לִשְׁכַּב עִם אִשָּׁה אֲנוּסָה וּמִתְאַבֶּלֶת, כְּמוֹ שֶׁהִזְכִּירוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זַ"ל (נדרים כ) בְּמַמְזֵרִים, בְּנֵי גְּרוּשַׁת הַלֵּב, וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן זֹאת הַצּוֹעֶקֶת בְּלִבָּהּ לֵאלֹהֶיהָ לְהַצִּילָהּ וְלַהֲשִׁיבָהּ אֶל עַמָּהּ וְאֶל אֱלֹהֶיהָ. וְהִנֵּה כַּאֲשֶׁר יוֹדִיעוּהָ שֶׁנַּכְרִיחֶנָּה לַעֲזֹב אֶת עַמָּהּ וּמוֹלַדְתָּהּ וְתִתְיַהֵד, נֹאמַר לָהּ, תִּתְנַחֲמִי עַל אָבִיךָ וְעַל אִמֵּךְ וְעַל אֶרֶץ מוֹלַדְתֵּךְ, כִּי לֹא תוֹסִיפִי לִרְאֹתָם עוֹד עַד עוֹלָם, אֲבָל תְּהִי אִשָּׁה לַאֲדוֹנַיִךְ כְּדַת מֹשֶׁה וִיהוּדִית. וְהִנֵּה אָז נִתֵּן לָהּ זְמַן שֶׁתִּבְכֶּה וְתִתְאַבֵּל כְּמִשְׁפַּט הַמִּתְאַבְּלִים, לְהַשְׁקִיט מִמֶּנָּה צַעֲרָהּ וּתְשׁוּקָתָהּ, כִּי בְּכָל עֶצֶב יִהְיֶה מוֹתָר וְנִחוּם אַחֲרֵי כֵן. וְהִנֵּה בַּזְּמַן הַזֶּה לָקְחָה עֵצָה בְּנַפְשָׁהּ עַל הַגֵּרוּת, וְנֶעֱקַר קְצָת מִלִּבָּהּ ע"ז שֶׁלָּהּ וְעַמָּהּ וּמוֹלַדְתָּהּ, כִּי נִחֲמָה עֲלֵיהֶם וְדָבְקָה בָּאִישׁ הַזֶּה שֶׁיָּדְעָה כִּי תִהְיֶה אֵלָיו, וְהֻרְגְּלָה עִמּוֹ. וּלְכָךְ אָמַר הַכָּתוּב וַהֲבֵאתָהּ אֶל תּוֹךְ בֵּיתֶךָ, וְדָרְשׁוּ (ספרי ז) בֵּיתֶךָ וְלֹא אֶל בַּיִת אַחֵר, וְכֵן וְיָשְׁבָה בְּבֵיתֶךָ, שֶׁתֵּשֵׁב כָּל הַזְּמַן הַזֶּה בַּבַּיִת שֶׁהוּא מִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בּוֹ (שם ט), אוּלַי תַּחְפֹּץ וְתִתְרַצֶּה בּוֹ. וְעַל הַכְּלָל כִּי זֶה כֻּלּוֹ בַּעֲבוּר הַהֶכְרֵחַ, אֲבָל אִם רָצְתָה לְהִתְגַּיֵּר בְּחֵפֶץ נַפְשָׁהּ בְּבֵית דִּין כַּמִּשְׁפָּט הֲרֵי הִיא מֻתֶּרֶת מִיָּד, גַּם לוֹ גַּם לְאָבִיו וּלְאָחִיו. וְכָךְ אָמְרוּ בְּפֶרֶק הַחוֹלֵץ (יבמות מז) וּבָכְתָה אֶת אָבִיהָ וְאֶת אִמָּהּ יֶרַח יָמִים, בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים שֶׁלֹּא קִבְּלָה עָלֶיהָ, אֲבָל קִבְּלָה עָלֶיהָ מַטְבִּילָהּ וּמֻתֶּרֶת מִיָּד. וְאֶפְשָׁר כִּי בְּכָל הַשְּׁבוּיוֹת בַּמִּלְחָמָה נַעֲשָׂה כַּתּוֹרָה הַזֹּאת, כִּי מִפְּנֵי הַיִּרְאָה תֹּאמַרְנָה לְהִתְגַּיֵּר. וְאָמַר (דברים כ"א:י"ד) וְשִׁלַּחְתָּהּ לְנַפְשָׁהּ, שֶׁתַּעֲשֶׂה כִּרְצוֹנָהּ, וְלֹא נַכְרִיחֶנָּה לִשְׁמוֹר דַּת מֹשֶׁה וִיהוּדִית, כִּי הַמִּתְגַּיֶּרֶת בְּרָצוֹן נַכְרִיחַ אוֹתָהּ לִשְׁמֹר הַתּוֹרָה, וְאִם תְּחַלֵּל הַשַּׁבָּת תִּסָּקֵל, וְאִם תֹּאכַל הַחֲזִיר תִּלְקֶה כְּדִין יִשְׂרָאֵל הַמִּשְׁתַּמֵּד, וְגַם זֹאת אִם הוֹדֵית בְּפִיהָ הַגֵּרוּת בְּלֹא הֶכְרֵחַ לֹא נְשַׁלַּח אוֹתָהּ לְנַפְשָׁהּ, שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ נַחְשֹׁב שֶׁהָיְתָה גֵּרוּתָהּ מִפְּנֵי הַיִּרְאָה דִּינָהּ כְּיִשְׂרְאֵלִית גְּמוּרָה, שֶׁכְּבָר הֶעֱלֵינוּ (יבמות כד) הֲלָכָה כֻּלָּם גֵּרִים הֵם: V’ASETHAH’ HER NAILS. “She shall ‘let them grow,’ [the reason being] that she should become repulsive.” This is Rashi’s language which accords with the words of Rabbi Akiba,³Sifre, Ki Theitzei 212. and so did Onkelos explain it [“and she shall let her nails grow”]. Now, according to their opinion the word v’asethah will be like ‘v’asath’ (and it shall bring forth) the produce,⁵Leviticus 25:21. for “growth” is termed asiyah (doing). But in the Sifre³Sifre, Ki Theitzei 212. there is stated a proof to the words of Rabbi Eliezer [who explains ‘v’asethah’ her nails — and “she shall cut” her nails] from the following verse, and he [Mephibosheth] had neither ‘asah’ (dressed) his feet [i.e., cut the nails] nor ‘asah’ (trimmed) his beard.⁶II Samuel 19:25. And this is indeed a great proof!
Therefore I say that these are all regulations of mourning, all connected with the expression, and she shall bewail her father and mother.⁷Verse 13. Thus he commanded that she shall shave her head,⁸In Verse 12 before us. similar to what is written of Job [when he heard of the death of his children], and he shaved his head,⁹Job 1:20. and so also, cut off thy hair, [and cast it away, and take up a lamentation].¹⁰Jeremiah 7:29. So, too, the cutting of nails is a form of mourning like the shaving of the head. He states, and she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her,⁷Verse 13. that is to say, she shall don the garments of mourning, and she shall remain in thy house⁷Verse 13. like a widow and not go outside at all, and she shall bewail her father and her mother,⁷Verse 13. doing all this a full month, for such is the custom of mourners.
And in the opinion of our Rabbis¹¹Sifre, Ki Theitzei 213. who say that all [these regulations] were intended to mar her beauty [the sense of the verses is as follows]: He commanded that she remove her beautiful garments, for [among] the heathens — accursed ones — their daughters adorned themselves in wartime in order to entice [the enemy] after them. She is to shave her head, which is considered a great disgrace, and pare her nails, for the custom of women is to let them grow and paint them with forms of stibium or other tints. And Scripture denotes the paring of a thing with the term asiah [“making” — ‘v’asethah’ her nails] because people cut the hair of the legs and the upper lip, as well as the nails when they grow [thus “making” and putting them in order].
It appears to me that [the term asiah in this connection] is an abbreviated expression, [Scripture] being accustomed to speak briefly concerning a self-evident matter. The sense of the verse, and he had neither ‘asah’ his feet nor ‘asah’ his beard⁶II Samuel 19:25. is that he [Mephibosheth] had not “done” what was appropriate to be done to them, alluding to the shaving of the hair on the legs and the beard, or to the washing of the feet themselves. Such also is the opinion of Yonathan ben Uziel who rendered the verse, “he did not wash his feet nor trim his beard.” So also ‘v’asethah’ her nails means “and she shall do that which is done with the nails “[i.e., paring them]. And the commentators¹²Ibn Ezra [on the verse before us] and Rashi on the verse in II Samuel 19:25. have said that the meaning of the term asiah is “setting in order.” And such is the meaning of the expression, and he hastened ‘la’asoth’ (to dress) it.¹³Genesis 18:7.
And the reason for this section [i.e. of all these regulations] is that she is converted against her will, and no one asks her whether she is willing to abandon her religion and become Jewish as is [customarily] done with proselytes. Instead, the [future] husband tells her that she must observe the law of Israel against her will and abandon her gods. This is the reason for the verse, and she shall bewail her father and her mother a full month,⁷Verse 13. because she abandons her people and her gods.¹⁴See Ruth 1:8. This is the interpretation of Rabbi Akiba¹⁵Sifre, Ki Theitzei 213 and Yebamoth 48b. who says that her father means only the idols, similar to what is said, They say to a stock, ‘thou art my father,’ and to a stone, ‘thou hast brought us forth.’¹⁶Jeremiah 2:27. In general, then, she is mourning because she is leaving her religion and joining another people. It is possible that the court imposes upon her to undergo immersion [in a ritual pool for the purpose of conversion] against her will just as is done with [Canaanite] bondmen,¹⁷A Canaanite bondman sold to an Israelite had to undergo circumcision and immersion, and he was obligated in the observance of certain commandments. When liberated he assumed the status of a full-fledged Israelite. and because she does not convert to Judaism through the normal procedure, Scripture removed her [from her master] all this time.
Now, the reason for [her] mourning and bewailing [which Scripture commanded] according to the opinion of our Rabbis¹⁵Sifre, Ki Theitzei 213 and Yebamoth 48b. is in order that she should become repulsive, so that his desire for her may wane. And Rabbi Abraham ibn Ezra wrote that the Torah assigned her a period [of mourning] in accordance with the custom of those who weep for the dead in honor of her father and her mother who died in the battle. And the Rabbi [Moshe ben Maimon] wrote in the Moreh Nebuchim¹⁸Guide of the Perplexed III, 41 (at the end). that this regulation was out of compassion for her, that she find comfort for herself, for those in misery find comfort and calm in their weeping and mourning, and during that time he must not force her to leave her religion, nor may he cohabit with her.
In my opinion this respite is not primarily intended to show compassion for her, but to eliminate the names of idols from her mouth and her heart. The wandering away and separation from her father and her mother and her people will further “quench the coal,”¹⁹See II Samuel 14:7. I.e., the extinguishing of the hope. for it is improper to cohabit with a woman who is coerced and in mourning. This is similar to the case our Rabbis, of blessed memory, have mentioned²⁰Nedarim 20b. See also Rashbam in Pesachim 112a (at end of page) that children born of such a union are tantamount to being illegitimate although legally they are not so considered. with respect to illegitimates, “children born of a wife whose husband has decided to divorce her,” and surely of this captive woman who cries out in her heart to her gods to save her and bring her back unto her people and unto her gods.²¹Ruth 1:15. Thus when they inform her that we will force her to give up her people and her native land, and convert to Judaism, we must tell her, “Be comforted for thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity²²Ibid., 2:11. whom ye shall not see any more, forever,²³Exodus 14:13. but, instead, be your master’s wife,²⁴See Genesis 24:51. in accordance with the law of Moses and Jewish custom.”²⁵Kethuboth 72a. Then we are to give her a time for weeping and mourning as is the way of mourners in order to assuage her sorrow and her longing, for in all sorrow there is profit²⁶Proverbs 14:23. and consolation afterwards. Now, during that time she has pondered in her mind about the conversion, and has partly eradicated from her heart her idols, people, and native land, she has consoled herself for them and has attached herself to this man to whom she knows she will become [a wife] and has become accustomed to him. Therefore Scripture states, and thou shalt bring her to thy house,⁸In Verse 12 before us. which the Rabbis have interpreted:³Sifre, Ki Theitzei 212. “To thy house — and not to the house of another person.” Similarly, and she shall remain in thy house⁷Verse 13. meaning that all this time she is to stay in the house which he uses, [for the reason that] perhaps she will desire and consent to [marry] him.²⁷One cannot help but express a deep reverence for the compassionate interpretation Ramban has given to this section. And in general, all these regulations are on account of the compulsion, but if she voluntarily expresses a desire to be legally converted by the court, she is immediately permitted to him, or even to his father or his brother. And thus the Rabbis have said in the Chapter Hacholeitz:²⁸“If a man submits to Chalitzah.” — Yebamoth 47b. “And she shall bewail her father and her mother a full month.⁷Verse 13. This applies only if she did not take it upon herself [to be converted,] but if she took it upon herself, she undergoes immersion and is permitted immediately.” It is possible that with all prisoners of war we are to act according to this law [even if she wishes to convert], because she might express her desire to be converted [at once] out of fear [of the regulations mentioned in this section. Therefore, we must question the sincerity of her expressed desire to convert].
He states, And it shall be, if thou have no desire for her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will,²⁹Verse 14. meaning that she may do as she wishes and we must not force her to observe the law of Moses and Jewish custom. For, if she converts voluntarily we may compel her to observe the Torah, and if she profanes the Sabbath [by doing forbidden work thereon] she is to be stoned, and if she eats swine’s flesh she is to be scourged, as is the law of an apostate Israelite.³⁰See Vol. II, p. 160. Moreover, if she herself confessed that the conversion was not coerced, we may not let her go as she wishes, for even if we suspect that her conversion was due to fear, her status is that of a true Israelite woman, for we have already decided the law³¹Yebamoth 24b. that all [who are converted whether out of fear or gain] have the status of proselytes.