Eliyahu HaNavi’s Dissuasion
Why does Eliyahu HaNavi try to dissuade Elisha no less than three times from accompanying him on his last journey before his ascent? Is this not as an excellent opportunity for Elisha to raise himself spiritually by witnessing such an awesome sight?
Rashi — Tzeni’ut
Rashi (Melachim II 2:2) explains that Eliyahu HaNavi’s attempt to dissuade Elisha stems from his modesty. We shall return to this very important comment later.
Ralbag — Preparation
Ralbag (ibid.) explains that Eliyahu HaNavi prepares Elisha for a terrifying sight. In trying to dissuade Elisha three times, Eliyahu HaNavi reminds Elisha that he is about to encounter a sight that is very difficult, and potentially psychologically damaging.
The Gemara (Chagigah 14b) relates that some of the Chachamim who ascended to the mystical garden of “Pardes” suffered irreparable psychological damage from the experience. However, not all of the Chachamim were affected adversely. Some of the Chachamim were better prepared for the intense encounter than others.
Eliyahu HaNavi wants Elisha to affirm no less than three times his readiness to handle such a spiritually edifying, but stressful sight. In the Halachic world, the performance of an action three times signifies a Chazakah, an established pattern. Thus, it is necessary for Elisha to clearly establish that he is adequately prepared for an awesome but shocking scene.
Da’at Mikra — A Nisayon
Da’at Mikra suggests that Eliyahu HaNavi poses a test to Elisha. Elisha is offered the possibility to stay, similar to Na’omi’s offer to Rut and Orpah to remain in Moav. Orpah, with a limited spiritual horizon, declines the offer, whereas Rut, despite three attempts at dissuasion, remains firm and insists on joining Na’omi on her journey home.
Ramban (BeReishit 22:1) sets forth a very important principle: a Nisayon is not imposed for the benefit of its administrator (i.e. Hashem). Rather, it is designed to actualize the latent potential within the individual. This is similar to the rigors imposed in training in the Israeli army. These tests are designed to draw forward the latent potential that otherwise would have remained dormant.145This is the reason why we attempt to dissuade someone who requests to convert (Yevamot 47a). We do not do this because we do not want converts. Rather, we wish to elicit from the conversion candidate latent potential commitment to Torah. Only if the candidate has this level of commitment will the conversion serve both the best interest of the candidate and the Jewish community. It serves no one’s interest if after a few years a convert reverts to his prior path. Testing the convert by attempting to dissuade serves to determine if the convert is resolute about his commitment to Torah and has the requisite level of commitment that will endure for a lifetime. Only then is the conversion truly in everyone’s best interest.
In our situation, Eliyahu HaNavi seeks to elicit three times from Elisha an expression of a deep commitment: “Chai Hashem, VeChei Nafeshecha Im E’ezeveka,” “as Hashem lives and by your life that I shall not leave you” (Melachim II 2:2, 2:4, 2:7). Eliyahu HaNavi hopes that Elisha’s expressions of commitment at this intense parting moment will endure for the rest of Elisha’s lifetime.
We suggest that the Bnei Nevi’im also test Elisha if he reacts properly by telling them to refrain from speaking about Eliyahu HaNavi’s departure. The Bnei HaNevi’im provide Elisha with an opportunity to emerge as their leader and flex some of his leadership muscles.
In a later chapter, we will suggest that this is the reason why Eliyahu HaNavi splits and crosses the Yarden.
Tzeni’ut — A Major Torah Value that Very Much Serves Our Best Interest
The Metzudat David (Melachim II 2:3 s.v. Hecheshu) explains that Elisha reinforces Eliyahu HaNavi’s desire for modesty by demanding that the Bnei HaNevi’im not mention Eliyahu HaNavi’s departure. With this, we return to Rashi’s aforementioned explanation of Eliyahu HaNavi’s attempt to dissuade Elisha from watching the spectacle of his dramatic departure from Earth.
How different is Eliyahu’s attempt to hide his dramatic departure than the ethos of the contemporary world! Today, if someone accomplishes anything of significance it is publicized to the maximum on any and all forms of social media. If Eliyahu HaNavi, heaven forfend, would harbor today’s values, he would have called for a media live feed for his grand departure. However, this is most definitely not the Torah way, and certainly not the way of Eliyahu HaNavi.
Rabbi Efrem Goldberg expresses this point in a most powerful essay.146Goldberg, Rabbi Efrem. Preserving Privacy and Protecting Capacity for Intimacy. 10 Feb. 2016, www.rabbiefremgoldberg.org/contemporary-issues/sharing-not-always-caring/. The following are excerpts from his important words:
We are living in a transparent generation where the trend is towards sharing in the extreme. Over coffee with friends, at the water cooler with co-workers, and increasingly on social media, people are revealing more and more about their personal lives, their innermost thoughts and feelings, and their most private experiences.
In theory, the movement towards greater sharing should yield better relationships, closer connections, and improved capacity for emotional intimacy. After all, being open with a person is a fundamental part of connecting with that person. And yet, more and more research confirms that in fact it is doing the opposite. An obsession with sharing and a proclivity for being revealing actually damages relationships, hurts self-esteem, increases anxiety, lowers self-control, and breeds narcissism.
In Judaism, the more valuable and treasured something is, the more private and protected we keep it. The more it is accessible, revealed, and exposed, the cheaper it becomes. Indeed, the Torah’s perspective is that genuine intimacy is achieved when something is private, exclusive, and inaccessible to others. This is true physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The less we practice privacy and modesty in each of these arenas, the greater the challenge we have achieving authentic intimacy in them.
A New York Times article on privacy and sharing on the Internet quotes research that confirms what the Torah has known all along:
“The problem is that if you reveal everything about yourself or it’s discoverable with a Google search, you may be diminished in your capacity for intimacy. This goes back to social penetration theory, one of the most cited and experimentally validated explanations of human connection. Developed by Irwin Altman and Dalmas A. Taylor in the 1970s, the theory holds that relationships develop through gradual and mutual self-disclosure of increasingly private and sensitive personal information.”147Murphy, Kate. “We Want Privacy, but Can't Stop Sharing.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 Oct. 2014, www.nytimes.com/2014/10/05/sunday-review/we-want-privacy-but-cant-stop-sharing.html.
The Torah presents the layout and floor plan of the Mishkan, the holy Tabernacle. The outer courtyard hosted the altar where sacrifices were offered. The Kodesh, or the holy section, housed the menorah and the shulchan. The last section was the Kodesh Ha’Kadashim, the Holy of Holies that housed the Aron and was entered by the Kohen Gadol only on Yom Kippur. Our sacred ark which held our sacred luchot and the original Torah scroll was in the most private and inaccessible part of the Mishkan.
Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik suggested that we model our personal lives after the structure and layout of the Mishkan:
“From the time I was young, I learned to restrain my feelings and not to demonstrate what was happening in my emotional world. My father would say that the holier and more intimate the feeling, the more it should be concealed. There is a hidden curtain that separates between one’s interior and the exterior: ‘and the dividing curtain (Parochet) shall separate for you between the Holy and the Holy of Holies.’ What location is more sanctified than the inner sanctum of one’s emotional life?”
In this world “devoid of doors” we need to be all the more mindful to keep our parochet, our curtain up, and protect the Holy of Holies of our lives. This is not to suggest that one should not share his or her emotions and feelings at all and keep them bottled up; obviously that is unhealthy and potentially dangerous. But the Holy of Holies was seen by a selective audience, only the Kohen Gadol.
Share your strong feelings, innermost thoughts and personal emotions with your spouse, or a family member you trust, or a close friend or confidant. But, not every thought or feeling needs to be made public. Not every personal experience or event merits sharing. Not every moment of frustration or point of pride with your job, with your children, or with your experience at a restaurant needs to be fodder for Facebook or with friends.
Failing to be judicious and thoughtful in what and how we share profanes our lives and makes achieving intimate relationships difficult. Preserving our parochet, maintaining the capacity for privacy and mystery, ultimately protects our Holy of Holies and elevates all the relationships in our lives.
Conclusion
Eliyahu HaNavi, upon his departure from this world, conveys some of the most essential lessons for a Jew. Tzeni’ut, modesty, is a pillar of Torah life and very much in our best interest. It is challenging to resist the path of the surrounding culture, in which Tzeni’ut is at best marginalized, and at worst ridiculed. However, following the example set by Eliyahu HaNavi and Elisha is not only the right thing to do as it adheres to Torah values and Torah law, but as social scientists are beginning to understand, Tzeni’ut very much serves our best interests.