אֲבָל הַסִּימָנִים שֶׁבָּהֶם תִּתְבָּרֵר הַכְּנִיעָה מִן הַנִּכְנָע כְּשֶׁיֵּרָאוּ בּוֹ הֵם חֲמִשָּׁה. When it applies and when it does not
The signs by which true submission is verified in a humble person are five.
אֶחָד מֵהֶם בְּעֵת חֹזֶק כַּעֲסוֹ עַל מִי שֶׁמְּבַזֶּה אוֹתוֹ בֵּין בְּמַאֲמָר בֵּין בְּמַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁאִם יִמְשֹׁל בְּרוּחוֹ וְיִמְחֹל אַחַר הַיְּכֹלֶת לְהִנָּקֵם מֵעֲנָוָה וְשִׁפְלוּת יוֹרֶה עַל בֵּרוּר כְּנִיעָתוֹ. (1) When he is intensely angry towards someone who reviled him, whether in word or deed, and he rules over his spirit, and forgives, despite that he has the ability to take revenge, and instead forgives him out of humility and lowliness - this attests to true submission.
וְהַשֵּׁנִי כְּשֶׁיִּפְגָּעֵהוּ פֶּגַע בְּמָמוֹנוֹ אוֹ יִקְרֵהוּ מִקְרֶה בִּקְרוֹבָיו אִם יַגְבִּיר הַסֵּבֶל עַל הַחֲרָדָה וְיִרְצֶה בִּגְזֵרַת הַבּוֹרֵא וְיַצְדִּיק אֶת דִּינוֹ יוֹרֶה עַל כְּנִיעָתוֹ הַטּוֹבָה וְשִׁפְלוּתוֹ לֵאלֹהִים כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר הַכָּתוּב עַל אַהֲרֹן בְּמָה שֶׁאֵרְעוֹ בְּמוֹת נָדָב וַאֲבִיהוּא (ויקרא י) וַיִּדֹּם אַהֲרֹן וְאָמַר דָּוִד (תהלים לז) דּוֹם לַה׳ וְהִתְחוֹלֵל לוֹ וְנֶאֱמַר (עמוס ח) לָכֵן הַמַּשְׂכִּיל בָּעֵת הַהִיא יִדֹּם. (2) When he is struck with a severe financial loss, or some calamity occurs to one of his loved ones - if his calmness overcomes his shock, and he humbly accepts the Creator's decree, and justifies the Divine judgment - this attests to good submission and to his lowliness before G-d, as the verse tells of Aharon when Nadav and Avihu were killed (by a heavenly fire): "And Aharon was silent" (Vayikra 10:3), and David said: "Be silent to G-d and wait patiently for Him" (Tehilim 37:7), and "Therefore the wise shall keep silence in that time" (Amos 5:13).
וְהַשְּׁלִישִׁי כְּשֶׁיִּתְפַּרְסֵם עִנְיָנוֹ אֵצֶל בְּנֵי אָדָם בְּטוֹבָה אוֹ בְּרָעָה. (3) When a deed he does becomes generally known, whether it is good or bad.
שֶׁאִם יְשַׁבְּחוּהוּ עַל טוֹבָה שֶׁעָשָׂה יָבֹז לִמְשַׁבְּחוֹ עָלֶיהָ וְתִהְיֶה נְקַלָּה בְּנַפְשׁוֹ וּקְטַנָּה בְּעֵינָיו מֵהֱיוֹתָהּ מְקֻבֶּלֶת וּרְצוּיָה אֵצֶל הַבּוֹרֵא לְקַטְנוּתָהּ נֶגֶד מָה שֶׁהוּא חַיָּב בּוֹ מִכִּפְלֵי הַטּוֹבָה הַהִיא וְיֹאמַר לִמְשַׁבְּחוֹ רַב לְךָ אָחִי כִּי אֵינָהּ נֶגֶד עֲוֹנֹתַי אֶלָּא כְּנִיצוֹץ מִן הָאֵשׁ בַּיָּם ואפי׳ אִם תִּהְיֶה נֶחֱשֶׁבֶת לִמְאוּמָה אֵיךְ אֵדַע אִם הִיא נִצֶּלֶת מִפִּגְעֵי הַהֶפְסֵד הַמַּשִּׂיגִים אוֹתָהּ עַד שֶׁיְּקַבְּלֶנָּה הַבּוֹרֵא מִמֶּנִּי וְלֹא יְשִׁיבֶנָּה עָלַי וְיַשְׁלִיכֶנָּה בְּפָנַי כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב (ישעיהו א׳:י״ב) כִּי תָבֹאוּ לֵרָאוֹת פָּנָי מִי בִקֵּשׁ זֹאת וְגוֹ׳ וְאָמַר (שם) לֹא תוֹסִיפוּ הָבִיא מִנְחַת שָׁוְא וְגוֹ׳. If it is a good deed and he is praised for it, and he belittles the deed to the one who praised him, and he will consider in his thoughts that the deed is small and lacking in quality to be acceptable to the Creator due to his being obligated to do deeds many times more than this. And he will say to the one who praised him: "stop my brother, because compared to my sins, it is like a spark of fire (trying to extinguish) the sea, and even if it is worth something, how can I know if it is saved from the things which nullify a mitzvah (as described in Gate #5), and that the Creator will accept it from me, and will not return it to me, or throw it back into my face?, as written: "When you come to appear before Me, who requested this of you, to trample My courts?" (Yeshaya 1:12), and "You shall no longer bring vain flour-offerings, it is smoke of abomination to Me" (ibid 1:13).
כ״ש אִם יְשַׁבְּחֶנּוּ בְּשֶׁקֶר שֶׁצָּרִיךְ לְהַרְחִיק הַדָּבָר הַהוּא מֵעַצְמוֹ וְיֹאמַר לַמְּסַפֵּר דַּי לִי (ס״א לך) אָחִי בְּקִצּוּרִי בְּמָה שֶׁאֲנִי חַיָּב בּוֹ לַבּוֹרֵא אַל תְּקַבֵּץ עָלַי עֲוֹן קִצּוּרִי וַעֲוֹן הַשֶּׁבַח בְּמָה שֶׁלֹּא עָשִׂיתִי כִּי אֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ עֲוֹנֹתַי וּפִשְׁעִי יוֹתֵר מִמְּךָ כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר דָּוִד ע״ה (תהלים נא) כִּי פְשָׁעַי אֲנִי אֵדָע. All the more so, if the praise is false, that he must reject it, and say to the speaker: "My brother, it is bad enough that I am lacking in fulfilling my obligations to the Creator, do not add to my discredit the iniquity of accepting praise for something I have not done, for I am aware of my sins and iniquities better than you are, as David said: 'For I know my transgressions..' (Tehilim 51:5).
וְאִם יִזְכֹּר בְּרָעָה שֶׁעָשָׂה, If people speak of bad things he did (which are true):
יוֹדֶה עַל נַפְשׁוֹ בְּקִצּוּרוֹ וְאַל יַחֲזֹר אַחַר אֲמַתְלָאוֹת לְהִנָּקוֹת מִמֶּנָּה וּלְזַכּוֹת עַצְמוֹ כמ״ש יְהוּדָה (בראשית ל״ח:כ״ו) צָדְקָה מִמֶּנִּי וְאַל יִשְׁתַּדֵּל לְהַכְלִים (ס״א להכחיש) הַמְסַפֵּר וְאַל יַאֲשִׁימֶנּוּ עַל אֲשֶׁר גִּלָּה אוֹתוֹ, אֲבָל יֹאמַר לוֹ אָחִי מָה שִׁעוּר מָה שֶׁהִשְׁקַפְתָּ עָלַי מֵרֹעַ מַעֲשַׂי אֵצֶל מָה שֶׁלֹּא יָדַעְתָּ מִמֶּנִּי אֲשֶׁר הֶאֱרִיךְ לִי הַבּוֹרֵא סִתְרוֹ בָּהֶם וְאִלּוּ הָיָה נִגְלֶה לְךָ רֹעַ מַעֲשַׂי וַעֲוֹנֹתַי הָיִיתָ בּוֹרֵחַ מִמֶּנִּי וּמְפַחֵד מֵעֹנֶשׁ הַבּוֹרֵא עֲלֵיהֶם כמ״ש אֶחָד מִן הַמְּשׁוֹרְרִים חֲטָאַי לוּ יְרִיחוּן בָּם שְׁכֵנַי אֲזַי בָּרְחוּ וְרָחֲקוּ מִן גְּבוּלִי וְאָמַר אִיּוֹב (איוב לא) אִם כִּסִּיתִי כְאָדָם פְּשָׁעָי. He will admit his failings and will not seek false excuses to absolve and justify himself, as Yehuda said: "She has been more righteous than I" (Bereishis 38:26), and he won't attempt to shame the speaker and make him out a liar, nor condemn him for having exposed him, rather, he will say to him: "my brother, the amount of bad things you have observed in me is little compared to what you don't know about me and which the Creator has for so long kept hidden. If you knew the full extent of my bad deeds and transgressions, you would flee from me, fearing that the punishment of the Creator which they merit, would befall you too, as a poet once said: "if my neighbors could smell my sins, they would run away and keep far from me", and as Iyov said: "Did I, like men, cover my transgressions, to conceal my iniquity in my hiding place?" (Iyov 31:33).
וְאִם מָה שֶׁסִּפְּרוּ עָלָיו שֶׁקֶר יֹאמַר לַמְּסַפֵּר אָחִי אֵין מִן הַתֵּמַהּ מָה שֶׁהִצִּילָנִי הַבּוֹרֵא מֵעֲשׂוֹת מָה שֶׁתָּלִיתָ בִּי אֵצֶל רֹב הַטּוֹבוֹת אֲשֶׁר גְּמָלַנִי אַךְ הַתֵּמַהּ סִתְרוֹ עָלַי בְּמָה שֶׁהוּא יוֹתֵר מְגֻנֶּה וְגָדוֹל מְאֹד מִמָּה שֶׁסִּפַּרְתָּ עָלַי, הֶרֶף אָחִי וַחֲמֹל עַל זְכוּיוֹתֶיךָ שֶׁלֹּא תֹּאבַדְנָה מִמְּךָ וְלֹא תַּרְגִּישׁ כִּי כְּבָר נֶאֱמַר עַל אֶחָד מִן הַחֲסִידִים שֶׁזָּכְרוּ אוֹתוֹ לְרָעָה וְכֵיוָן שֶׁהִגִּיעוּ הַדָּבָר שָׁלַח לַמְּדַבֵּר בּוֹ כְּלִי מָלֵא מִזִּמְרַת אַרְצוֹ וְכָתַב אֵלָיו הִגִּיעַנִי שֶׁשָּׁלַחְתָּ לִי מִנְחָה מִזְּכוּיוֹתֶיךָ וּגְמַלְתִּיךְ בָּזֶה, If the bad thing that was said of him was false, he should say to the person who reported it: "my brother, I am not amazed that the Creator has saved me from doing that which you accuse me, since He has bestowed upon me so many benefits. What really amazes me, is that He allowed to remain concealed what is far worse and more reprehensible than that which you have told over about me. Stop my brother, and be concerned for your merits, that you do not lose them without your noticing it. For it is told of a pious man about whom someone spoke badly of, that when he heard of this, he sent a basket full of the choicest fruits of his province to the one who spoke badly of him and wrote to him: 'I have been notified that you sent me an offering of your merits, and I am sending you this gift in return' "
וְאָמַר אֶחָד מִן הַחֲסִידִים הַרְבֵּה בְּנֵי אָדָם יָבוֹאוּ לְיוֹם הַחֶשְׁבּוֹן וּכְשֶׁמַּרְאִים לָהֶם מַעֲשֵׂיהֶם יִמְצְאוּ בְּסֵפֶר זְכֻיוֹתָם זְכוּיוֹת שֶׁלֹּא עָשׂוּ אוֹתָם וְיֹאמְרוּ לֹא עָשִׂינוּ אוֹתָם וְיֵאָמֵר לָהֶם עָשָׂה אוֹתָם אֲשֶׁר דִּבֵּר בָּכֶם וְסִפֵּר בִּגְנוּתְכֶם. וְכֵן כְּשֶׁיֶּחְסַר מִסְפַּר זְכוּיוֹת הַמְסַפְּרִים בִּגְנוּתָם יְבַקְשׁוּ אוֹתוֹ בָּעֵת הַהִיא וְיֵאָמֵר לָהֶם אָבְדוּ מִכֶּם בְּעֵת שֶׁדִּבַּרְתֶּם בִּפְלוֹנִי וּפְלוֹנִי. Another pious man once said: "Many people will come on the day of judgment, and when they are shown their deeds, they will find in the book of their merits, good deeds that they did not do, and they will say: 'we did not do these things'. They will be answered: 'they were done by someone who spoke badly of you'. Likewise, at that time, those who spoke badly of others will find that some of their merits will be missing, they will seek them, and will be told: 'you forfeited them when you spoke of this or that person'.
וְכֵן יֵשׁ מֵהֶם גַּם כֵּן שֶׁיִּמְצְאוּ בַּסֵּפֶר חוֹבוֹתָם חוֹבוֹת שֶׁלֹּא עָשׂוּ וּכְשֶׁאוֹמְרִים לֹא עֲשִׂינוּן יֵאָמֵר לָהֶם נוֹסְפוּ עֲלֵיכֶם בַּעֲבוּר פְּלוֹנִי וּפְלוֹנִי שֶׁדִּבַּרְתֶּם בָּם כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים עט) וְהָשֵׁב לִשְׁכֵנֵינוּ שִׁבְעָתַיִם אֶל חֵיקָם חֶרְפָּתָם אֲשֶׁר חֵרְפוּךָ ה׳. וְעַל זֶה הִזְהִירָנוּ הַכָּתוּב בְּאָמְרוֹ (דברים כד) זָכוֹר אֵת אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה ה׳ אֱלֹהֶיךָ לְמִרְיָם בַּדֶּרֶךְ. Similarly, some people will find in their book of sins, sins they did not do, and when they will protest saying "we did not commit these things", they will be told "these were added to the list of your misdeeds for having spoken of this or that person", as written: "And return to our neighbors sevenfold into their bosom, their reproach with which they reproached You, O L-ord"(Tehilim 79:12). And on this the scripture warns us: "remember what the L-ord your G-d did to Miriam on the journey" (Devarim 24:9).
וְהָרְבִיעִי כְּשֶׁיֵּיטִיב לוֹ הָאֵל בְּטוֹבָה גְּדוֹלָה וּבְחָכְמָה יְתֵרָה וּתְבוּנָה רַבָּה אוֹ עֹשֶׁר גָּדוֹל אוֹ כָּבוֹד אֵצֶל הַמַּלְכוּת וְהַדּוֹמֶה לָזֶה מִמַּה שֶׁנָּהֲגוּ בְּנֵי אָדָם לְהִתְפָּאֵר בָּהֶם וּלְהִתְגָּאוֹת בַּעֲבוּרָם וְיִשָּׁאֵר עַל עִנְיַן שִׁפְלוּתוֹ קֹדֶם לָכֵן וְלֹא הוֹסִיף אֶלָּא עֲנָוָה וְשִׁפְלוּת לִפְנֵי הָאֱלֹהִים וְכָבוֹד וְטוֹבָה לִבְנֵי אָדָם כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר אַבְרָהָם עֵת שֶׁשִּׁבְּחוֹ הַבּוֹרֵא וְאָמַר (בראשית י״ח:י״ז) הַמְכַסֶּה אֲנִי מֵאַבְרָהָם וְגוֹ׳ וְאָנֹכִי עָפָר וָאֵפֶר. וְאָמַר מֹשֶׁה (שמות יז) וְנַחְנוּ מָה. וְאָמַר דָּוִד ע״ה (תהלים כב) וְאָנֹכִי תוֹלַעַת וְלֹא אִישׁ אָז יִתְבָּרֵר מַצְפּוּנוֹ וְתֵאָמֵן כְּנִיעָתוֹ, וְאָמַר הֶחָכָם בָּעִנְיָן הַזֶּה (קהלת י׳:ד׳) אִם רוּחַ הַמּוֹשֵׁל תַּעֲלֶה עָלֶיךָ וְגוֹ׳. (4) When G-d bestows a special benefit on him such as exceptional wisdom and understanding, or great wealth, or honor from the ruling king, or other things like this which people commonly take pride in and become haughty on account of, and yet one remains in his humility as before and even increases in humility and lowliness before G-d, and honors and benefits other people, as written by Avraham who said: "I am but dust and ashes" (Bereishis 18:27) when the Creator praised him saying "how can I hide from Avraham what I intend to do"(Bereishis 18:17). And Moshe and Aharon said "we are nothing" (Shmos 16:7), and David said: "I am a worm and not a man" (Tehilim 22:7). (If one acts like this), it will clarify his interior and affirm his submission is true. The wise man said of this matter: "If the spirit of the ruler rise up against you, leave not your place; for gentleness pacifies great offenses" (Koheles 10:4).
וְהַחֲמִישִׁי כְּשֶׁהוּא מוֹכִיחַ אֶת נַפְשׁוֹ וְנוֹתֵן דִּין הַבּוֹרֵא מֵעַצְמוֹ אעפ״י שֶׁאֵין יְכֹלֶת לָדִין עַל זֶה תִּתְבָּרֵר כְּנִיעָתוֹ לֵאלֹהִים וְשִׁפְלוּתוֹ וְשַׁחוּתוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (עזרא י) אֲנַחְנוּ מָעַלְנוּ בֵּאלֹהֵינוּ וְגוֹ׳ וְנֶאֱמַר (שם) וַיִּתְּנוּ יָדָם לְהוֹצִיא נְשֵׁיהֶם. (5) When the humble man rebukes himself, exacts the Creator's justice upon himself of his own initiative, and voluntarily submits to it, even though no human authority has the power to enforce it - this points to his true humility before G-d as well as his lowliness and submission to Him, as written: "We have trespassed against our G-d, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land" (Ezra 10:2), and "they gave their hand to send away their wives" (Ezra 10:19).
וְעִם הַמְּאֹרָעִים הָאֵלֶּה וְהַדּוֹמִים לָהֶם יִתְקַיְּמוּ סִימָנֵי הַכְּנִיעָה לָאֵל יִתְעַלֶּה וְהַשִּׁפְלוּת מִן הַנִּכְנָעִים וְתֵרָאֶה אֱמוּנַת לְבָבָם בָּהֶם: Through these situations and others similar to them will be fulfilled the signs of [true] submission to G-d and humility from the submitted and whether their heart is faithful in them.
